


Weak In My Knees

by bluehairedbaby (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Bottom Harry, Endgame Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Flashbacks, Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson are the Same Age, Kidnapped Harry, Kidnapping, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Pining, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Drugs, School Dances, Slow Burn, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Top Louis, high school sweethearts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-01-20 16:14:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 52
Words: 70,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21284528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bluehairedbaby
Summary: Freedom.That's all he wanted.The problem is, Harry's far from free.Trapped in a relationship that feels more like a cage than anything else, he finds odd comfort in a certain blue eyed boy who leaves him weak in the knees.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Original Male Character(s), Liam Payne/Maya Henry, Zayn Malik/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 45
Kudos: 198





	1. Prologue

A single drop of blood trickled down his cheek and across his jawline, stopping only at his chin, as if to lie in rest for a minute. 

He let it stay there a moment or two, to see if it would drip into the white sink. 

When it didn’t, he pressed the cold washcloth to the cut, wincing at the familiar sting. 

In retrospect, this pain didn’t hurt as much as his partner’s words. How ironic. 

Worthless.

Useless.

Trash.

Slut.

I never should have brought you with me. 

It was nothing original. But, if that was the case, why did it still make him cry so much?

Probably because it was true. 

If it was a lie, he wouldn’t be there. 

If it was a lie, someone would’ve bothered to look for him. 

If it was a lie, then they could go to the park, or to the movies, and hold hands without fear of getting caught. Like they used to. 

But it wasn’t a lie. It was true. 

It was what he deserved because it was his fault. 

It was his fault that he talked back. He knew he shouldn’t have, but he did, and there was no going back. 

However, looking back, it was a stupid thing to be punished for. 

“Harry?” Brandon asked. “Harry? Are you in there?”

Harry didn’t say anything. 

“Look, I’m sorry,” his boyfriend continued, his words slurred. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m really sorry, just please let me in.”

“Are you drunk?” Harry asked.

“A little…”

Harry opened the door to his mess of a boyfriend. 

Shivering, slumped on the floor, with a bottle in his hand. Brandon looked up at the younger boy.

“God… I’m sorry, H.” He cried, touching a hand to Harry’s cheek. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Harry said, smiling. “You were just letting off some steam. It’s fine.”

“Ok. Can I help?” Brandon asked, gesturing to the washcloth in the sink.

“Sure.”

Brandon helped to clean up the cut, though Harry wished he would work a little more gingerly, as the area around it was already forming a bruise.

After that, neither felt like doing anything. 

There were no words that could be said, or actions that could be done, that could erase the situation they were in. 

“Wanna lie down?” Brandon asked.

“Sure, I guess.” 

“Your first day is tomorrow, how are you feeling?”

“I don’t know.”

“Listen to me,” Brandon demanded, pulling Harry’s chin so that he looked right into his eyes. “If those bastards even try to do anything to you, I swear I’ll kill them.”

“Bran, please-”

“I’m not kidding. No one gets to touch you. No one but me. You hear me?”

Harry nodded, hoping he didn’t look as scared as he felt. 

Those words used to be sweet. 

“Well, I’m heading to bed. Good night.” Brandon said, kissing Harry briefly before turning over and pulling the blanket over himself. 

Harry lay perfectly still, until he heard soft snores coming from his right. 

Staring at the ceiling, he wondered how they’d ever ended up there. 

It used to be nice. 

They used to have a somewhat normal life. 

They used to go on dates.

They used to get lost in the other’s eyes for hours. 

They used to be able to have those sweet moments, that spark, that all lovers did. 

He wished he knew where it had gone. 

It was funny, wasn’t it?

He used to feel free when they were together. 

Now, he didn’t feel caged only when they were apart.


	2. Chapter One

It was the pain that woke him up. 

Harry groaned as he tried to get up out of bed without waking up Brandon. 

Grabbing a shirt and the closest pair of pants, he headed into the bathroom. 

The first thing he noticed was his cheek. 

The cut, surrounded by a bluish bruise, shone bright red on his pale face.

His eyes lingered on that part of his reflection for a minute, before trailing off to the other parts of his body. 

His bony, bruised body. 

He could see exactly where Brandon had grabbed him the night before. 

He pulled the shirt over his head, blinking rapidly to keep back the tears that stemmed from the pain. 

Gritting his teeth, he walked into the kitchen. 

They had a stove that was never used, as neither was around long enough to bother. 

Heading straight to the cabinets, he grabbed a box of cereal.

He poured a generous amount of it into his bowl, not that it mattered, as he seemed to be unable to do anything to gain weight. 

That’s what people always talked to him about. Random strangers asking him if he got enough to eat at home. 

“Morning.” Brandon said, making Harry jump. He didn’t even hear the older man come in. 

“Jesus, Bran, you scared me.” Harry laughed shakily. 

“What’s there to be scared of?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Put a shirt on, at least.”

“Don’t like what you see?” Brandon said, almost threateningly. 

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Harry stammered, tensing up. 

“Don’t worry, I’m messing with you.” Brandon said, clapping the teenager on the back. “It’s adorable how you get scared at little jokes.”

“I’m not adorable.”

“That’s what you tell yourself. Can you grab me a bowl?”

“Sure.”

“Oh, by the way, I need to tell you something.”

“Ok?” Harry knew that nothing good could come after that sentence. 

“I can drive you to school, but you’re going to have to walk home.”

“Why?”

“I need to stay a little longer today.”

“I thought you were through with that?!” Harry said, blood boiling. 

“I know, but I need to do a few more things before I’m clean. Got it?”

Brandon held out his arms, as if asking for a hug. 

“No.”

“No?”

“How come you always say that?” Harry demanded. “You always say it and you never mean it! When will it end?”

“Hey!” Brandon yelled. 

Harry covered his face with his hands, scared of repeating the night before. 

“Don’t forget that I pay for everything. Your education, your food, the clothes on your back. I do everything for you. And all I get in return is you bitching about my job. ” Brandon said, eyes narrowed and teeth clenched together. “This- this is temporary. So grow up, Harry. See things from my point of view. Life will never be easy for us. Are we clear?”

Harry nodded.

“Use your words.”

“Y-yes.”

“Good. Now finish your food. We have to get you to school.”

__________

The drive was uncomfortably silent. 

It was the kind of silence that could drive you crazy. 

Harry held onto his backpack tightly, paranoid of another outburst from his boyfriend. 

He stared blankly out the window, lazily watching house after house go out of sight. 

Eventually, the school came into view, and he perked up at the sight. 

Students were crowding together at the front, catching up with friends, both old and new. 

Brandon parked the car a little farther than Harry might’ve liked. No one had seemed to notice the old, beaten up car at the end of the road yet. 

“Ok, this is it.” Brandon said. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m not sure.” Harry replied, no emotion in his words. 

“Hey, listen. This won’t be forever.” Brandon said, facing Harry. “Keep a low profile. So long as you don’t blow this, we’ll be safe.”

Comforting. 

“Thanks,” Harry said, opening the door. 

“Hey!” Brandon objected. “Where’s my kiss?”

Harry smiled weakly, before leaning inside the car to fulfill Brandon’s request.

“That’s more like it. Have a good day. See you tonight.” 

Harry shrugged his response, before walking up the street to the school.

He looked down as his feet, avoiding looking directly at someone. He could swear he felt eyes burning into him, but he was to scared to check if that was true or not. 

“Hey!” A voice called.

Harry turned around to see a blonde kid running up to him. 

“Hey, you’re Harry, right? The new kid?”

“Yeah. And you are…”

“Niall. Niall Horan. I’m supposed to show you around.” Niall said. “Oh, what happened to your face?”

Very sensitive, Niall. Harry reached his hand to his cheek, remembering the cut, and realizing it would be the first thing people saw. 

“Oh, nothing, I just fell off my bike.” He shrugged.

“Ok, then. I thought you got into a fight for a minute.”

Kind of. 

“Anyway,” Niall continued, “I guess we should start the tour.”

Opening the door, he held it for Harry, and gestured for him to go first.

The first thing Harry saw when he went inside was rows of lockers. 

“You’ll get your locker number and combination from Mr. Ross, the homeroom teacher. That’s our homeroom, and our math room.” Niall pointed out a door to the left of the boys. 

Niall went on, pointing out the different rooms, explaining what classes were taught in them, and making funny side comments about the teachers.

Harry made a mental note of each of the classrooms. 

He didn’t want to blow it after all.

“Here’s my favorite classroom.” Niall said enthusiastically. 

Harry looked inside the room Niall opened the door to. 

“This is the music suite.” Niall explained. “We used to have a more organized choir, but since then less kids have wanted to do it. Nowadays it's mostly individual work rather than group performances. But my friends and I have been thinking of starting a band lately.”

“That’s cool.” Harry said. 

“Yeah. We need to actually start working if we’re going to do that.” Niall appeared to be lost in his thoughts for a minute, staring around the room with an odd smile on his face. When his eyes finally landed on Harry again, he asked, “Do you like to sing?”

Harry shrugged. “A little. But not in front of other people.”

“Shy, aren’t you?” Niall laughed. “C’mon, class must be starting soon.”

__________

Harry put his books in his locker. 

The classes that morning hadn’t been too hard, although he did get tired of the constant introductions he had to make, being the new kid and all. 

“Hey Harry!” Niall called, running up to him.

“Hey Niall.” 

“You should come sit with me and my friends.” Niall said. 

“You think so?” Harry questioned. 

He was never really one to try and insert himself into friend groups. 

After all, this was the fourth school he’d attended in three years. 

There wasn’t really a point in creating bonds only to break them.

“Yeah. C’mon, it’ll be fun.” Niall pleaded.

“Fine,” Harry said reluctantly, smiling while shaking his head. 

“Yes!” Niall grabbed him by the hand and pulled him over to a table of other teenagers. “Hey everyone, this is Harry; he’s the new kid.”

All the kids smiled and waved at him. 

Three guys, two girls. 

“That’s Zayn and his girlfriend Gigi,” Niall said, pointing to each of the kids. “Liam and his girlfriend Maya, and there’s Louis.”

“Hi, Harry!” The kid called Liam said, shaking Harry’s hand. 

“So where’s your girlfriend?” Harry jokingly asked Niall.

“Her name’s Emi. She’s a straight A student and a dancer. She has long blonde hair and beautiful curves.” Louis answered for Niall. “But the best part about her is that she’s imaginary.”

“She is not!” Niall said defensively. 

“Then show us a picture of her.” Louis said, one eyebrow arched. 

Harry got a good look at Louis while he and Niall argued over his “girlfriend.” 

He had brown hair, swept effortlessly over one eye. 

His lips curled up in a smirk, showing off his amusement in Niall’s remarks. 

But his eyes. His eyes were a dangerously beautiful shade of blue. 

“She’s real! I’m telling you!” Niall exclaimed.

“Oh, yeah?” Maya said, joining in on the fun. “Do you have her number?”

“She doesn’t have a phone.” Niall admitted sheepishly. 

Maya gave a look. Niall gestured with his hands, as if that proved a point. 

“Well, case will be resumed when some actual evidence can be provided.” Louis joked. 

“And what about you?” Harry asked Louis. “Who are you with?”

“Nobody.” Louis said proudly.

“Why?”

“Because nobody else here is gay.”

Harry almost choked on his sandwich. 

“What?” 

“Oh, yeah, I’m gay… you don’t have a problem with that, do you?” Louis asked. “Because if you do, you might as well just move along.”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just- you just said that. Easily.” Harry tried to explained.

“So?”

“Well, I said that at my old school and got a trip to the hospital.” Harry said.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Louis said, a more serious tone in his voice. “People who do that stuff are cruel bastards. I hope you understand that. And the school will punish anyone who treats you that way again.”

Harry nodded. 

He felt a weight rise off his shoulders. 

He didn’t have to be scared here. 

Smiling, he looked up at the rest of the group, whose smiles offered sympathy. 

“I’m sorry; I’m about to seem like such a dick, but what was your name again?” Zayn asked. 

Everyone laughed, including Harry.

“Harry.” He answered. “Harry Phillips.”


	3. Chapter Two

“So, Harry, do you play any sports?” Zayn asked. 

The group of teenagers were lounging around a bench at a park close to the school. 

School had ended about an hour before, and since Harry didn’t have anywhere to be, he gave in to their invitation to hang out with them. 

“Hmm,” he thought. “With my knowledge and understanding in the football game, I feel like I should be a lot better at football.”

The others laughed. 

Harry grinned, not used to being the funny one. 

It felt nice to have people laugh with you instead of at you. 

“Do you play?” Niall asked. 

“No, I’m rubbish.” Harry answered.

“I like playing football, but I have a hard time convincing these blokes to play with me.” Louis said. 

“Is that so?” Harry asked. “Maybe you and I should have a go at it sometime.”

“Really?” Louis asked, his voice dripping with skepticism. 

“Yeah. You’d win, of course, but it would make you feel better, right?”

“I guess you’re right.” Louis shrugged. 

Suddenly, out of the corner of Harry’s eyes, he saw a car pull up to the curb. 

Recognizing the vehicle, he felt his heart rate rise. 

He isn’t supposed to be here. He thought.

“Um, I gotta go.” He said, trying not to let his voice shake. “See you tomorrow.”

He grabbed his backpack and rushed to the car, determined not to look back at his newfound friends saying goodbye.

Entering the car, he immediately closed the door, so nobody could eavesdrop on their conversation. 

“What the hell, Brandon?” He asked his boyfriend.

Brandon didn’t answer.

Instead, he started up the car and began the quiet drive home.

Harry watched his friends slowly disappear from his sight. 

His gaze lingered on them, one by one, until they all slipped away. 

Suddenly, he felt something behind him forcing him up against the window.

He groaned as his head made contact with the glass, resulting in what was most likely another bruise. 

“What the fuck were you doing?” Brandon practically screamed.

“I was just hanging out! They’re my friends!” Harry answered, rubbing his head where it was injured. “Besides, I thought you said you were working late!”

“There was a miscommunication. I’m working later on tonight. Less chance of being found out.” Brandon said, as if what he was doing was fine. “So you just assume you can stay out after school because I’m not home? Is that it?”

“I didn’t know!” Harry said. 

“You should have at least texted me, or given me a call!” 

“My phone died!”

“Use one of your friends', then.”

“Do I have to ask permission from my own boyfriend to be around other kids my own age?”

Brandon stared at him darkly. 

It was a cold, dangerous glare.

Harry immediately regretted what he said.

Raising his hands to cover his face, he braced himself for the worst.

“Yes.” Brandon answered. “I should know about everything you do. There are no secrets in relationships, after all. Do you understand?”

“Yes. I’m sorry.” Harry whimpered. 

“It’s fine, babe.” Brandon said. “Now, how was your first day?”

“Ok. The teachers are nice.” Harry said quietly.

“And your friends? What about them? Who are they?”

“There’s Niall, he showed me around today. And there’s Liam, Zayn, Louis, and the girls are Maya and Gigi.”

“And what have you told them?”

“Nothing, except they know I’m gay.”

“What?!” Brandon exclaimed. “Harry, you got a free trip to the hospital last year more than once. Are you sure you want to go through that again?”

“No, it’s not like that.” Harry reassured him. “The school is cool about that sort of thing. Not like last year.”

Not to mention that you sent me to the hospital as well. Harry wanted to say.

“Really?” Brandon said, surprised. “That’s new.”

“Yeah, it’s really cool.” Harry tried to laugh, still a little shaken up from earlier.

“Are there any other gay kids at school?” Brandon asks.

“Yeah, Louis.” Harry said. “Why?”

“Nothing. Just curious.” Brandon said. 

But despite Brandon’s claims, Harry couldn’t help but notice the way his boyfriend’s eyes narrowed at Louis’ name.

“So,” Harry said awkwardly. “Why do they want you working later?”

Brandon gave a look.

Don’t ask stupid questions.

Harry broke the stare, resuming a blank gaze outside the car window for the entirety of the ride home. 

When they pulled into the drive, Brandon still looked upset. 

He was probably still upset, seeing as he slammed the car door behind him, as well as the front door and the door to their bedroom. 

Harry bit his lip, fearing what came next. 

Just stay calm and lie low. 

Maybe you’ll get away unscathed this time. 

__________

Louis watched the battered down car as it went down the street. 

A million questions raced through his mind.

What caused Harry to looked so scared as he left?

Should he be concerned?

“Whatcha thinking about, Lou?” Liam asked. 

“Harry.” Louis said simply.

“Um, ok then.” Niall joked. 

“Not like that,” Louis answered quickly, realizing how weird that must have sounded. “He just seems like a cool guy, that’s all.”

“Ooh, sounds like the Tommo has got himself a crush!” Gigi cried.

It must have been the most hilarious thing they’d heard all day. 

That, or they were all slightly drunk.

Either way, they all started bursting out in laughter. 

“This is the best day ever!” Niall laughed, seeing Louis’ face. 

“Louis and Harry. That could work!” Maya said.

“Ok, enough!” Louis said.

They all quieted down once they saw their friend’s face.

Visibly frustrated, Louis said, “Listen, I’m not ready for a relationship right now. Besides, all the gossip stopped like three weeks ago. I’m not ready for any more rumors.”

“I’m sorry.” Gigi said sincerely. 

“Got carried away.” Niall said. 

“It’s fine,” Louis sighed. 

He looked around, seeing his friends faces. 

He knew they didn’t mean it. 

They were just trying to have fun.

He knew what that was like. 

But he hated jokes about himself, especially after last year’s grand fiasco. 

The group’s conversation had moved on at this point.

Right now, they were talking about homework or something. 

Louis wasn’t sure.

He had already stopped paying attention. 

Zoning out was a specialty of his. 

It gave him time to think about the stuff he was too distracted to bother with during the day. 

Stuff like Harry. 

He didn’t know why his mind would only focus on the student that day, but that’s where he was. 

Maybe it was the conversation they’d had at lunch. 

He felt sorry for the other teenager as he so casually dropped that he’d gone to the hospital because of some stupid fuckers. 

Honestly, Louis didn’t get people like that. 

He was sad that Harry had to deal with that.

Louis didn’t really know what that was like. 

Sure, he’d been called names before, but those bullies were all rightly punished, and he’d never actually been beaten up. 

The concept of getting into a fight was a little upsetting, if he was completely honest.

He was never one for blood being shed and fists being thrown. 

God, I sound like such a nerd. He thought. 

Shows just how little he knows.

He wondered how Harry took getting beat up. 

How many times did it happen?

Like, did it happen once, or was it a daily thing?

Did he try to defend himself?

If he did, did he ever win a fight?

That could have been cool to watch; Harry defending his own honor, knocking out bullies left and right. 

Louis knew that he would probably upset Harry if he ever said these questions out loud. 

Was it wrong to wonder these things? 

Or just to ask them in real life? 

Louis wished he could stop. 

But it was almost like he was stuck on a loop. 

No matter how hard he tried, no matter what he did, all his thoughts returned to a certain green eyed, curly haired boy.

Harry.

Maybe Gigi was right.


	4. Chapter Three

The first thing Harry noticed when he woke up was Brandon’s absence. 

Getting up slowly, Harry walked into the kitchen warily. 

He looked around, trying to find him. 

Catching sight of Brandon, he sighed in disappointment.

Passed out on the couch, probably hungover from the night before. 

Harry shook his head at the sight.

This shouldn’t happen every day.

But it still did regardless. 

The only plus side to the situation was a calmer Brandon. 

They hadn’t had a fight like the one in the car two weeks ago. 

Harry was grateful for that. 

Sort of. 

Not bothering to grab breakfast, he took a pen and paper, wrote a quick note down, and set it down by Brandon. 

Lightly kissing the top of his head, Harry grabbed his bag and went out, quietly closing the door behind him. 

A cool wind met his face. 

Walking briskly, he pulled his jacket tighter around himself. 

The weather got colder very fast, to everyone’s surprise, considering it was only the middle of September. 

Harry smiled. 

Cold weather was a favorite of his.

Brandon hated it. 

He would complain left and right about it. 

But Harry didn’t mind it. 

This weather was calm, and cool. 

It was sentimental, in a way, knowing the holidays were coming in a couple months.

It was weather that reminded him of home. 

Sorry, his old home. 

“Hey, Harry!”

He turned after hearing his name called. 

Liam was jogging up behind him. 

“Hey Liam,” Harry said. “What are you doing?”

“Walking to school.” Liam said. “What else would I do?”

“Fair point.” Harry grinned. 

“I didn't know you walked to school.”

“I don’t, actually. This is a first.”

“Oh. Cool.” Liam said. “I walk to school most days. Unless it's raining. Then my mum gives me a hard time about it.”

“So you live around here?” Harry asked. 

“Yeah, what about you?” Liam answered.

“I live a little farther from here.” Harry said. 

“Cool.” Liam said. “Hey, I know it’s been a while, but, um, who was that guy on the first day? Who picked you up?”

“Uh, that was my brother.” Harry answered. “Brandon. Why?”

Liam shrugged. “Just curious. I didn’t know you had a brother.”

Oh, if only he knew. 

“Yeah,” Harry said.

“Why does he pick you up? Why not your dad?” Liam asked.

“My dad left, actually.” Harry said. 

It wasn’t technically a lie. 

“Oh, I’m sorry for asking.” Liam said, looking at the ground. 

“No, it’s fine.” Harry said, surprising himself with how calm he was about it. “It’s just me and Brandon now, and I’m ok with that.”

“Ok, then,” Liam said, not sure how to react to that.

“It’s ok to be weirded out by that.” Harry said. 

“Alright.” Liam said awkwardly. “Um, I was wondering, do you want to hang out with us after school? We’re going to Nando’s.”

Harry hesitated. 

He wanted to agree. 

But he was scared of another outburst.

How did he get his message across without saying that?

“I’ll have to ask. But I will if I’m allowed.” He answered. 

“Ok.” Liam said.

“Hey,” Harry said. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Liam asked, confused. 

“For caring.” Harry answered. “Nobody ever does.”

__________

“Alright, then, calm down.” The music teacher said. 

Turning around, he caught sight of Harry.

“Ah! You must be Harry.” He shook the teenager’s hand enthusiastically. “I’m Mr. Reed. Thanks for joining us!”

“Yea,” Harry said. “Not a huge crowd, huh.”

Mr. Reed sighed. 

“Unfortunately so.” He said. “At least I can focus on my star students individually.”

The boys snickered at this. 

“Hear that, lads?” Louis said. “We’re star students!”

Mr. Reed rolled his eyes, but smiled affectionately at the boys. 

He knew they weren’t the best at concentrating, and that they’d rather goof off, but they had their best interests at heart.

“Speaking of my star students,” He focused his attention on the boys. “Have you forgotten about our deal?”

“Of course not.” Niall grinned. 

“Yeah, we’re not stupid.” Zayn said. 

“I’m sorry, what deal?” Harry asked. 

“Ah, that’s right, you’re new here.” Louis said. “We made a deal with Mr. Reed here at the end of last year.”

“He told us he’d buy us any candy as long as we wrote and performed a good song.” Liam said. 

“So?” Mr. Reed asked. “Are you ready?”

“You betcha.” Zayn answered. 

Niall grabbed a guitar, and Louis sat down at the piano. 

Mr. Reed beckoned for harry and Natalie to sit down, so they did, and stayed quiet while the boys were getting ready. 

Liam looked at Niall and nodded. 

Niall began to strum a few chords.

After a moment, Liam took a deep breath and began.

“Can’t ever get it right,” he sang. “No matter how hard I try. And I've tried.”

“Well I put up a good fight.” Zayn sang. “But your words cut like knives, and I’m tired.”

Harry perked up, listening to the boys. 

They were good. 

Not just good, but phenomenal even. 

“As you break my heart again this time,” Zayn continued. 

“Tell me I’m a screwed up mess,” the rest of the boys joined in. “That I never listen, listen. 

Tell me you don’t want my kiss, that you need your distance, distance.

Tell me everything, but don’t you say he’s what you’re missing, baby. 

If he’s the reason that you’re leaving me tonight, spare me what you think, and tell me a lie.”

The boys stopped singing, and all was quiet for a moment.

Then, Mr. Reed started slowly clapping for them.

“Bravo, boys.” He said. “Is that all you have?”

“Nah, but it’s all we’ve got so far.” Niall answered. 

“Well, I’ll have to pay up now. Uh, I guess you all should just write down what you want, and tell me.” Turning to Harry and Gigi, he added, “What did you two think?”

“That was incredible,” Gigi breathed. 

“Yeah.” Harry agreed. “I thought you were kidding when you said you were starting a band, but, wow, just wow.”

“Thanks.” Louis said, turning his face. 

He didn’t want anyone to see how Harry could make him blush. 

“Do you sing at all, Harry?” Mr. Reed asked.

Harry sighed, thinking. 

“Kind of, but I’m shy.” He said. 

Mr. Reed dismissed this with a wave of his hand. 

“You’ll get over that. But anyway,” He said, addressing the whole class. “Gather ‘round the piano, children. Let’s do some warmups.”

__________

All Brandon could feel was head splitting pain. 

The details of the previous night were a little fuzzy, but he remembered getting drunk. 

Or high. 

Probably both. 

“Harry?” He called, hoping to find some comfort in the young boy. 

No answer. 

“Harry?” He called again. “Are you here?” 

He looked around, breathing heavily. 

Spying a note, he snatched it up and read what it had to say.

Saw you sleeping, didn’t want to wake you up, so I walked. Hope you got your beauty rest. XO, Harry

He sighed, feeling relieved. 

He was petrified that one day, Harry would walk out and never come back. 

When that day came, he would be in deep shit. 

Personally, he didn’t give a fuck about what was written as lawful or not.

Life was short, might as well enjoy yourself, right?

But he wasn’t stupid. 

He fully knew that his relationship with Harry had to be kept under wraps. 

Not even his closest friends could know. 

That’s why he brought him there. 

To make sure the truth never got out. 

Brandon smiled at the thought. 

He was defying the world.

When it told him no, he kept pushing back until he got his way. 

He was the one in control.

He liked being in control.


	5. Chapter Four

"Hey, Liam invited me to eat with him and a few other friends, is it ok if I go?"

Harry sent the text, waiting for a minute to see if Brandon would respond before he shut it off. 

“Whatcha thinking about, Curly?” Louis asked. 

“Curly?” Harry echoed. “When did that start?”

Louis shrugged. “When I said it just now.”

“Why?”

Another shrug. 

“Everyone has a nickname.” Louis said. “There’s Nialler, and Li, though we call him Daddy a lot.”

Harry tried not to laugh at the last one.

“Daddy?” He scoffed.

“It sounds wrong, I know, trust me,” Louis explained. “But it’s only because he’s the dad of the group. You know, he’s the kind to calm things down, or ask you how your day was. Occasionally he’ll ask if you’re eating enough. We told him that might be a bit offensive, so now he just invites people to eat out.”

“Oh, that’s why he’s invited me today.” Harry said.

“No, I don’t think so.” Louis said. “You aren’t necessarily filling out your clothes, mind you, but you’re nice to hang out with.”

“Thanks, I guess?” Harry laughed.

“Anytime, Curly.” Louis said.

“Two can play at that game, Loubear.”

“Oh, yeah, Hazza?”

“Ok, just stop.”

Louis smirked. “I knew you’d cave first.”

Harry rolled his eyes. 

He felt a buzz come from his pocket. 

Opening his phone, he saw Brandon’s reply. 

"No. Just come home."

He sighed. 

What would it take just to be able to win an argument for once?

“Hey, I’m sorry, but my brother’s telling me I’ve got to come home.” 

He saw Louis’ face fall for a minute, before the other teenager forced a smile.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. I’ll tell Liam.” He answered with a wave of his hand. 

Harry smirked. 

“You mean Daddy?” He asked.

He couldn’t help it.

“Ah, get lost.” Louis said.

He held his arms out awkwardly for a second. 

Then he realized what he was doing.

Pulling his hands back, he looked at the ground, hoping Harry hadn’t seen.

Harry smiled. 

He held his arms out for a hug, and embraced Louis. 

Louis looked surprised for a minute. 

Harry broke away, waved goodbye, and walked down the street, leaving Louis standing alone. 

Louis tried to process what happened. 

“Oh no,” Louis breathed. 

Gigi was definitely right. 

He’d fallen for the other boy. 

__________

Brandon sat on the couch, brooding. 

At least, he thought he brooding. 

But to tell the truth, bottling up feelings is never attractive. 

He stared at his phone screen again. 

His last message to Harry had been left on read. 

He’d sent it seventeen minutes ago. 

Where the fuck was he?

Sighing, he rubbed his eyes. 

He didn’t know why he felt this way. 

Harry never had friends before, this was new. 

Uncharted territory made him uneasy.

Suddenly, Brandon was being left behind, and Harry’s friends were being put first in his mind. 

Brandon, who did nothing but provide and care for Harry, was being ditched for a bunch of high schoolers. 

He didn’t like that.

He didn’t like the sound of Liam, or Niall, or Zayn, or Louis. 

Especially not Louis. 

He didn’t want anyone to take away Harry.

He needed to be in control of one thing. 

And since it couldn’t be anything else, it had to be Harry. 

He heard the door. 

“Hey Bran,” Harry said casually.

Brandon jumped up. 

It wasn’t out of fear. 

It was out of rage instead. 

He stormed over to his boyfriend, one thing on his mind.

Seeing terror in Harry’s green eyes, he was pretty sure he’d get want he wanted.

He grabbed him by the shoulders, and pushed him up against the door.

Harry winced at the pain. 

Brandon slapped him across the face. 

“What the actual fuck were you thinking?” He asked the boy quietly. 

He didn’t want the police called, after all. 

“I wasn’t-” Harry tried to say. 

Brandon silenced him with a punch to the gut. 

Hearing the groan, he punched him again in the same location, before moving up.

“Exactly!” Brandon hissed. “You weren’t thinking! You never do! You stupid little shit!”

Blood and tears were running down Harry’s face. 

“Do you know how much danger you put me in every extra you spend out there?” Brandon asked. “How much danger you put both of us in?”

Harry shook his head, closing his eyes.

Make it stop, PLEASE! He thought desperately. 

“Of course you didn’t.” Brandon let the boy drop. Shaking his head in disgust, he whispered, “You are the worst mistake of my life.”

He turned away from Harry. 

Heading to the fridge, he grabbed a beer.

After a swig or two, he headed to their bedroom. 

He needed to remind Harry how to behave himself. 

And if intimidation was the only way to get his point across, so be it. 

Everyone had to make sacrifices.

__________

Liam shook his head. 

“I really hoped he’d be able to come.” He said. 

Maya patted his arm sympathetically. 

“We all did.” She said. 

“I just don’t get it!” Zayn said suddenly. 

Everyone in the group had their eyes on him. 

They didn’t end up going to Nando’s, much to Niall’s disappointment. 

Instead, they all sat on a bench in a park. 

“What?” Gigi asked Zayn.

Zayn got up, pacing. 

“I mean, we know virtually nothing about the kid, right?” Zayn said. “But it’s weird, I feel like I’ve known him for a long time.”

“Me too.” Niall said quietly. 

“You get what I’m saying, right Nialler?” Zayn continued. “I just have this weird feeling about him. Like something’s going on.”

“Maybe you’re making assumptions.” Gigi said to her boyfriend. “Like you said, we don’t know much about him.”

“But think about it, Nat.” Zayn said. “First day of school, he shows up with a bruise on his face, from a ‘run-in with an old schoolmate.’”

“Wait.” Niall said. 

Everyone turned to him. 

He had a confused look on his face.

“What do you mean? He told me he fell off his bike.” Niall said. 

Louis looked up. 

He’d been separated from the conversation, on the verge of zoning out, when he heard this.

“Ok,” Louis said. “Something’s not right here.”

“He definitely told me a kid punched him.” Zayn said. 

“Well, he told me he was in a bike accident.” Niall said. 

Gigi looked alarmed. 

“Maybe it was neither.” She said quietly. “Maybe it was something at home.”

“Could his dad be- you know?” Maya asked, too afraid to even say it. 

“No.” Liam shook his head. 

“Liam, just because you don’t like the sound of it doesn’t rule out the possibility-” Louis said. 

“I know.” Liam interrupted. “But it couldn’t have been his dad.”

“Why not?” Maya asked. 

“He told me his dad left when he was a kid.” Liam admitted. 

He couldn’t help but have a nagging feeling that he was betraying his newfound friend, one way or another. 

Maya and Gigi both gasped. 

Louis covered his mouth with his hand. 

“Are you sure?” Niall stammered.

Liam nodded.

“Definitely. Said so himself.” He said. “He told me his brother watches him.”

Louis looked as bad as he felt. 

“Well, it didn’t have to be his dad.” He said. “Anyone is still a prime suspect.”

“Maybe we have it wrong!” Gigi threw her hands up. “Maybe we’re overthinking this, and he’s fine.”

“Gi, listen to me.” Louis said. “I know you mean best, but we do too. Eve if we’re wrong, it doesn’t hurt to try and figure out what’s going on. Harry’s our mate. If one of you was getting hurt, I'd want to help.”

Everyone was quiet for a minute or two. 

In silent agreement, Gigi asked, “Well, how do we do that?”

Louis thought for a second. 

“I have a plan.”


	6. Chapter Five

“What happened to your face?!”

Harry sat down at the table, ignoring Niall’s comment. 

He really wished he had one of those makeup kits, the kind that could cover up scars and tattoos and stuff. 

He could have used one. 

He knew that for a fact. 

A bruise on his nose and searing pain throughout his entire torso kept him from arriving on time that day. 

He tried his best to avoid eye contact. 

However, the line of questioning he was about to go through was inevitable. 

“Geez, Haz,” Louis said in horror. 

Maya and Liam glanced at each other. 

This was only more proof for their theory. 

“It’s really nothing, guys,” Harry said. 

He sure as hell wasn’t going to blow this. 

Not here. 

Not now. 

Gigi wasn’t having it. 

“Nothing?!” She exclaimed.

All eyes turned to here.

Even the reluctant green ones. 

“Harry, nothing is a papercut. Nothing is stubbing your toe.” She gestured to his nose. “This is not nothing.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want to talk about it.” He shrugged. 

“Harry, just tell us. We won’t be mad.” Liam said. 

Harry glared at him for a minute. 

He knew the right thing to do was to tell the truth. 

But was it the best decision?

“Fine. You want to know?” He asked the group.

The group nodded slowly, scared of what was going to happen next. 

“Alright.” He sighed. “Last night, I was taking a walk, and some blokes were following me. Turns out, some of my ‘mates’ from my old school found out where I lived.” 

He paused for a minute.

“It didn’t turn out well for me.”

“Harry, I’m so sorry.” Maya said, grabbing his hand sympathetically. 

He looked down at the sudden motion. 

“You need to report those guys.” She continued. 

He shook his head.

Everyone could see the terror in his eyes.

“No. I can’t.” He said frantically. 

“Harry, listen!” She said. 

“Like I said, it’s nothing.” He turned to look at the others. “Can we talk about something else already?”

Niall sighed. 

“Look, I get that you’re scared.” He said. “You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. But just know that we’re all here for you. Talk to us. Talk to me. Talk to Louis; he’s the only one who even begins to understand that.”

If you dropped a pin, you would’ve heard it for sure. 

The conversation went dead silent. 

Everyone sat tense, looking at Niall, then at Harry, then at Louis. 

Louis lightly smacked the back of the Irish boy’s head. 

Niall looked at him, obviously confused.

Then it hit him. 

His eyes widened. 

Mouthing an apology to Louis, he tried to fix the situation. 

“Anyway, you should know that Mr. Reed gave us all an assignment.” He said. 

“And what’s that?” Harry asked. 

He decided it would be best to pretend like he didn’t catch the boy’s slip up, but he couldn’t help but wonder.

What happened to Louis?

“He’s told us all to pick a song to perform in front of the class.” Niall said. 

“Wait, what?” Harry said. 

“Yeah. He said it could be anything you want.”

“When?” 

“Friday.” Zayn answered. 

Harry threw up his hands in frustration. 

“I can’t do that!” He exclaimed. 

Louis smiled. 

“Ah, you’ll be ok, Hazza.”

Harry smirked at his friend. 

__________

“What the hell, Niall?” Louis whispered angrily.

Niall shrugged apologetically.

“I’m sorry! It was a mistake.” He said. 

“I get that, but out of any mistake why did it have to be that one?” Louis rubbed his eyes. 

“It’s weird! I’m just used to being able to talk about it, like when it was just us.” Niall said. 

“Ugh.” Louis sighed. 

He loved the lad to death, but that didn’t mean that Niall never got on his nerves. 

“Lisen, maybe just tell him.” Niall suggested. 

“What?! No! Why would I do that?” Louis asked. 

“Hey, look, I get that you’re mad at me, but it’s not a bad idea. Think about it.” Niall said. “Harry is one of us. He sits with us, he eats with us. He’s not going to judge. And wouldn’t you want to tell him, rather than someone else?”

Louis nodded. 

“Besides,” Niall dropped his voice to a whisper, glancing around the hall. “If we want to go through with this plan of yours, we want Harry to trust us, right?”

“Right,” Louis agreed. 

“So, if we could tell him one of your secrets, maybe that could help move this along.” 

“That’s diabolical, Nialler.” Louis said. 

Niall rolled his eyes. 

“Look, Harry said he’s been in the hospital before. What if a bully didn’t send him there? What if it was his brother?” Niall said. “I’m just trying to look out for a friend.”

“Ok!” Louis said, exasperated. “Ok. I’ll tell him.”

Niall smiled weakly at him before walking off to the next class. 

Louis sighed. 

What the hell was he about to get himself into?

__________

Brandon looked down at his phone, checking the caller ID. 

Xander.

He answered the call, raising the phone to his ear.

“Hey. What’s up?” He asked. 

“Bran, we need to to do a run tonight.”

“Tonight?!” Brandon exclaimed. 

It couldn’t be tonight. 

“Yes, tonight, you deaf bastard,” Xander said. “And it’s out of town.”

“What?!” Brandon said. 

This kept getting worse and worse. 

“Do you have a problem with that?” Xander asked cooly. 

“Yes I do!” Brandon practically yelled into the phone. “It’s my night off! I was going to-”

“Let me guess.” Xander said. “Let’s see, what could someone like you possibly do on a night like this… Oh, right. You were planning on sleeping with your boyfriend tonight, is that correct?”

Brandon’s blood ran cold. 

Well, colder. 

“What?” He stammered. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

He heard Xander sigh through the phone. 

“Oh, Brandon. You aren’t very good at hiding things.” He chided. “Or people. You need to learn to cover your tracks. Disguising him as your brother? Please. Let’s see, it’s Harry, right? The man of your dreams?”

Brandon heard a chuckle. 

“Or should I say boy of your dreams?” Xander continued. “Honestly, you’d think you couldn't stoop any lower. A pothead and a pedophile. You’ve been busy, Philips.”

“Leave Harry out of this.” Brandon threatened. 

Nobody touched his Harry.

“I’m going to take a wild guess, Brandon, and say that the authorities probably don’t know about you and Harry’s love affair. It would be tragic if someone tipped them off…”

“Ok, I’ll do what you want!” Brandon said, defeated. 

Nobody touched his Harry.

Somewhere in the city, Xander smiled sadistically. 

“Good.” He said. “You’ll come to the usual place, and we’ll give you the address and the supplies.”

“Fine.” Brandon said. “See you then.”

Hearing the beep of the call being disconnected, Xander put his phone in his pocket. 

“Oh, Brandon, Brandon, Brandon,” He sighed. 

The young man had all the makings of a good dealer. 

He was kniving, manipulative, and authoritative. 

All he needed to do was grow some brains. 

Then he’d be perfect. 

Of course, that boyfriend of his was a problem. 

They couldn’t have him get in the way. 

He knew it was going to be a tragic day for Brandon in the future. 

But everybody had to make sacrifices. 

“Watch out, Harry.” Xander said, laughing.


	7. Chapter Six

Louis took a deep, shaky breath. 

Why was he doing this again?

He was doing his best to calm his nerves. 

Oh, dear God. 

The story itself wasn’t even that bad, just dramatic. 

He saw Harry walking towards him.

“Hey, I saw your text, what’s wrong?” Harry asked. 

He sat down on the bench next to him. 

Their hands almost touched. 

Louis was tempted to close the gap between their fingerprints. 

“Lou?”

No. Not yet. 

“There’s something I want to tell you.” Louis said. “And I didn’t want you to hear about it from anyone else, so here we are, I guess.” 

Harry looked at him. 

There was so much emotion hidden in those beautiful green eyes. 

Louis counted the different feelings he could see.

Fear. 

Concern.

Confusion.

“Ok?” Harry said. “You can tell me, whatever it is.”

Louis took a deep breath. 

__________

It started with a bump. 

To set the scene, the following events took place a year ago, in the hallway.

Louis was minding his own business one minute, and the next he was lying on the floor among his books and papers.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry.” The other boy said. “Here.”

The kid started to help pick up Louis’ stuff. 

Handing a pile back to him, another apology forming on his lips. 

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine, my books will survive.” Louis said, getting up by himself. 

The boy sighed in frustration.

“Ugh, I’m sorry, I should’ve helped you up, I know-”

“Hey!” Louis said. 

Man, this kid could ramble on. 

“It’s alright.” Louis said. “I’ll live to see another day.”

“I know,” the boy groaned. “I’m sorry.”

“Ok. You need to stop saying that!” Louis laughed. 

“Sorry. Oh, sorry- dammit!” The kid said. 

Louis smirked. 

“See you around,” he said, turning on his heel. 

“Wait!” The teenager called. “What’s your name?”

Louis turned around. 

He shrugged.

“Who knows?” He said. 

He smiled to himself as he walked off. 

Weird guy. 

__________

Louis hadn’t originally wanted to go to the party that night. 

However, he was so grateful at the time that Niall convinced him to go that night, even if he couldn’t say why at that moment. 

He’d never drunk before. 

But, mix a game of beer pong, and a steamy game of spin the bottle with the hottest guys in school… you get the picture. 

He was not expecting the boy from earlier to be the person helping him up from the floor after a miscalculated journey down the stairs. 

“Are you ok?” He asked Louis. 

Louis groaned. 

“I’ll take that as a no. Here.” 

He grabbed Louis under the arms, and helped him to his feet. 

“Hey,” he said. “You’re the bloke from earlier!” 

“The one you knocked over?” Louis asked. “Yeah, that’s me.”

The kid blushed.

Whether it was from the comment or whatever was in their cups, Louis never found out.

“I never caught your name.” The boy said. “Mine’s Nick.”

Nick. 

Louis looked the teenager up and down. 

He kind of looked like a Nick. 

That letterman jacket sure helped. 

“Well, hello to Nick.” Louis said. “I’m tipsy.”

Nick laughed. 

“You’re pretty funny.”

Louis shrugged. 

“I’ve been told gays are the epitome of humor.” He said. 

“Well, in that case, I should be funny.” Nick said. 

Louis raised an eyebrow at this. 

Not what he was expecting from Nick, but hey, who was he to judge?

“Meh, some people just have that je ne se quois, I guess.” He said, with added flair. 

Nick grinned. 

Louis liked his smile. 

It was genuine; it was the kind that stretched from one ear to the other.

“I’m Louis.” He said. “Just in case you didn’t want me labeled as the mystery man in your mind.”

“So, Louis, what are you doing here?” Nick asked. “I’ve never seen you at one of these things.”

“A friend invited me. He’s supposed to drive me home, but I doubt that’s going to happen.” Louis said. 

“Did he not show up?” Nisk asked. 

“No, he just likes to party a little harder than the rest of us.”

“Is he the Irish kid?” 

“Yep.”

“Yeah, I kind of assumed that.” Nick said. “Hey, what if I drove you home?”

Louis arched his eyebrow. 

“Is that you or the alcohol talking?” He asked.

Nick shook his head. 

“Me. Haven’t had a drink all night.” He said. “So, do you wanna?” 

Louis shrugged. 

“Sure, why not?”

__________

Louis hadn’t expected Nick’s car to be this nice. 

I mean, they were seventeen. 

How fancy were they supposed to be?

Clearly, Nick didn’t get that concept. 

He had it all. 

White leather seats, advanced GPS, etc. 

Louis couldn’t help but gawk. 

Nick laughed, seeing the other teenager’s reaction to his vehicle. 

“C’mon, get in.” He said.

Louis blinked as he settled into his seat. 

“This is- wow!” 

“I know. My dad wanted to surprise me for my birthday.”

“What?!” Louis exclaimed. “I don’t even have my license, my parents would never buy this for me.”

Nick shrugged. 

“Thanks, I guess.” He said. 

“I’m just fangirling over your car. Wow, I’m definitely going to be regretting some choices in the morning.” Louis said. 

Nick laughed. 

The car ride was noisy, to say the least. 

The boys talked the whole time.

About life, or homework, their favorite things, what movies were playing in theaters. 

Too bad that had to end. 

Louis watched out the window as they pulled up outside his home. 

“This is me.” He said, preparing to get out of the car. 

“Wait.” Nick said, a new sound to his voice. 

“What is it?” Louis asked, concerned. 

“Um, about what I told you earlier, about me being- you know...” Nick trailed off. 

“It’s ok, you can say it.” Louis said. 

“Well, I'm not really out to anyone yet.” Nick admitted awkwardly. “So it would be nice if you didn’t say anything.”

Louis smiled. 

“Of course.” 

Nick sighed shakily. 

It sounded like he’d held his breath for a long time. 

“Thanks, Louis.” He said. 

“Yeah, no problem, mate.” Louis said. 

Nick laughed. 

“I’ve never said that to anyone before.” He said. 

Louis smiled sympathetically. 

“I know what that feels like.”

“Louis?”

“Yes?”

“You said earlier that you’d regret things in the morning.”

“Yeah?”

“Will you regret this?”

Without warning, Nick leaned in to Louis, connecting their lips. 

Louis’ eyes widened, but closed softly, as he returned the favor. 

After a minute, they broke apart. 

Louis’ lips tingled. 

He looked at the other noy, breathing heavily. 

Neither spoke for a moment. 

Then, Louis decided to break the silence. 

“Definitely not.” He grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> This chapter ended up being a little longer than I expected, so I broke it down into more than one. 
> 
> Stay tuned to read more!
> 
> P.S. Yes, I did throw in a little Tomlinshaw. You're welcome. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, please comment if you liked!
> 
> ~bluehairedbaby~


	8. Chapter Seven

The next three weeks were…

What was the word?

Bliss?

Heaven?

Paradise. 

Not to sound cheesy or anything. 

Louis didn’t consider himself to be the romantic type. Ever. Period. 

Still, he couldn't deny that he was head over heels and completely smitten with Nick Grimshaw. 

He spent his time at school watching him (as creepy as that sounds) and stayed up late into the night messaging back and forth with him. 

He knew the suddenness of their relationship was laughable, but this time, it felt different. 

To start, this had already been the longest relationship Louis ever had with a guy. 

Sure, he and Eleanor Calder had a thing a couple years back, but that was before he was out. 

__________

“Wait,” Harry said. “You were with a girl?”

Louis shrugged. 

“I was in a bit of a denial phase at that point. She was pretty cool about it, though.” He said. 

“How long were you together?” Harry asked.   
“I think about a month and a half, maybe two.” Louis laughed suddenly. “Actually, looking back, she was the first person I told.”

“And she was ok with it?” Harry asked. 

“Oh, yeah. Couldn’t be happier for me. She actually asked if I wanted her to hook me up with a friend of hers.” Louis said. “I declined.”

“Cool.” Harry said.

“Back to the story.” Louis folded his hands together. 

__________

Even though the relationships Louis had with other guys were only slightly shorter, to say the least, none of them ever had a spark like Louis had with Nick. 

Oh dear God. This was getting very mushy. 

Moving on. 

Plus, Nick wasn’t like any other guy Louis had been with. 

Closeted? Yes. 

Jock? Yes. 

But he was sweet, and awkward, and a bashful dork. 

Overall, he was a pretty adorable guy, who just so happened to leave Louis weak in his knees. 

__________

“Hold on.” Harry said. 

“What now?” Louis groaned. “You need to let me finish!”

“Sorry.” Harry blushed, thoroughly embarrassed. 

“It’s fine, go on and say whatever it is.” Louis smiled.

Damn. Rosy cheeks really do make anyone look cuter, he thought. 

“What do knees have to do with anything? Why is everybody always ‘weak in their knees’ around someone they like?” Harry asked. 

Louis thought for a minute. 

“I got nothing.” He finally said. “There isn’t really a reason. There doesn’t have to be a reason. All I know is how it feels.”

“And what’s that like?” Harry asked. 

“Like my legs turned to jelly.” Louis laughed. “It’s quite intoxicating, actually.”

Harry bowed his head. 

He felt that once. 

“Go on.” He said. 

Louis took a deep breath. 

__________

Anyway, the point was that Louis had fallen for Nick. 

Maybe a little too far. 

He wanted to do anything just to spend one extra minute with him. 

In fact, he did anything and everything in his power to achieve that goal. 

The list goes as follows:

He “forgot” his homework assignments just to serve time together in detention. (More than once.)

He feigned trips to the bathroom to meet in secret with him. 

He started to regularly attend football practices. 

Hell, he even started playing football again. 

His friends did raise a few eyebrows at his slightly rebellious behavior and newfound passion, but if they ever suspected something was up, Louis never found out. 

He didn’t really care about it. 

He didn’t care about his grades dropping, or the secret little rendezvous, or how sore he was after each attempt at playing football, or how overly cheesy and romantic he was acting. 

He didn’t care about any of it. 

Because at the time, all he could think about was Nick. 

Sweet, beautiful Nick. 

Louis knew the difference between love and being in love. 

He understood the whole, cliche “you love your friends and family but you would do absolutely anything for someone you’re in love with” nonsense. 

Or, at least, it was nonsense up until now. 

But it too early. 

Too early to distinguish love from hormones. 

“Hey, Lou?”

Nick’s voice pulled Louis out of his thoughts and back into boring reality.   
“Sorry, what?” he asked. 

Nick smiled. 

“If you’d been listening, you would’ve picked up on the fact that it’s my mum’s birthday this weekend.” he said. 

“Oh.” Louis said. “And?”

“Well,” Nick said. “I don’t know what to get her still.”

“And you need my help.” Louis said. 

Nick nodded.

Louis sighed, rolling his eyes up in thought. 

“Well, you could always make her a card. Or just make something. Mums love stuff like that.” He said. 

“That’s a thought.” Nick said. “What would I write in a card?”

“Flatter her. Make her feel like a queen. Trust me,” he added, “she’ll love it. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to be on her good side.”

“Oh, so you want me to manipulate my dear old mum?” Nick joked. 

Louis smirked. 

“Ok, one, don’t call her old, she’ll hate that. Two, it’s not manipulation, it just so happens to be in your best interests.” He said. 

“In my best interest?” Nick echoed. “When did you learn to twist sentences like that?”

“I have loads of siblings. You gotta learn to defend yourself in my family.” He said. 

Nick laughed. 

“So, what are you doing for her birthday?” Louis asked. 

“Well, we have my game first thing Saturday. Then, after we’re changed, we’re going to my nan’s for a family dinner.” Nick said. 

Louis perked up. 

He had a game?

Nick had a football game, and Louis didn’t know?

Nick must’ve seen how confused Louis looked. .

“Penny for your thoughts, babe?” He asked. 

Louis tried to shake it off. 

“Nothing.” He responded.

Nick grinned and leaned in for a kiss, which Louis gladly reciprocated. 

Their first date was going pretty well. 

__________

Louis had a plan. 

It might’ve been a stupid plan, but that was debatable. 

Actually, no.

It was definitely a stupid plan.

Here’s why:

In his mind, surprising his boyfriend at his football game seemed like an easy idea to Louis. 

It should’ve been, if he had only accounted for the rain the night before, the mud, the cold weather, and how long a game actually takes. 

He woke up early that morning. 

Usually, he would’ve considered setting an alarm on a Saturday sacrilegious, but exceptions could be made. 

Grabbing his jacket and shoes, he tried to tiptoe as quietly as he could out of his room, down the hallway, and out of the front door.

He made it past two of these obstacles. 

“Louis?”

He turned around to see his very tired mother standing in the middle of the kitchen. 

“What the hell are you doing?” She asked. 

Louis laughed nervously. 

“Well,” He said. “There was this football game I wanted to go to…”

“At seven in the morning?”

“Um… yeah. It starts at eight.” 

“Is it at school?” 

“Yeah.”

Johanna looked like she was going to ask something else, before she sighed and clasped her hands together. 

“Since when do you even like football?”

Louis gestured with his hands, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. 

How was he supposed to answer that?

“Does that really matter?” He asked. 

Johanna made a soft clicking noise with her tongue, as if in disbelief. 

“Kind of? I don’t even know, Louis.” She said. “You’ve not been, well, you recently.”

Louis felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach. 

He didn’t mean to worry her, but he knew it was wrong to tell the full truth. 

“Look, one of my friends is playing, and I promised I’d be there.” He explained, lying only partially. 

His mum took a deep breath, closing her eyes. 

“Fine. Just be back as soon as it’s over.” She said. 

Louis nodded eagerly, trying as hard as he could not to grin half as much as he wanted to. 

“Thanks!” He said, failing to mask the excitement in his voice. 

Johanna rolled her eyes, smiling at her son. 

“Well, be off then, you rascal!” She shooed him out.

Louis bolted outside, closing the door carefully behind him. 

Heading over to his bike, he made it onto the streets in record time, doing his best to pull his jacket closer around him with only one hand. 

Using the other, he precariously turned the corner. 

As he rode, he watched Doncaster wake up.

People left their houses, all bundled up to protect themselves from the cold, to get to their jobs. 

He passed the odd jogger and dog walker every so often, but didn’t take much notice of them. 

He pedaled faster, eager to reach his destination. 

Soon, he arrived at the school. 

Out of breath, he heard a sound, so close, yet so distant. 

Confused, he listened closely, trying to figure out what it was. 

With a jump, he recognized the far off noise as cheers. 

Blinking, he checked his watch. 

7:34

How? He thought. It’s supposed to start at eight. 

So much for catching Nick before the game. 

Sighing, he made his way over to the field. 

To his surprise, the stands were not as full as he thought they would be, for all the noise the audience was making. 

Stepping lightly over jackets and candy wrappers, Louis found a seat far enough from people he didn’t know, but close enough not to look like a psychopath. 

He scanned the field, searching for Nick. 

But all he could see was mud. 

No surprise there, it had rained last night, but it was literally everywhere- on the ground, on the player’s uniforms, on the ball. 

After catching sight of it, Louis focused on the ball. 

It was passed from one opposing player to another- no, wait, one of their guys stole it. 

He was one of Nick’s friends. 

Darren, Louis thought his name was. 

Darren kicked the ball in front of him, trying to see if he could make the shot- he couldn’t. 

With one swift motion, he passed it- to Nick. 

Louis smiled at the sight. 

Nick pulled his leg back, aiming for the goal- before he was knocked over by an unseen foe. 

Louis shot up angrily just as the shrill whistle of the referee sounded. 

A collective groan passed through Louis’ side of the stands. 

He looked around, suddenly realizing how stupid he looked, and awkwardly sat back down. 

The referee held up a yellow card to the bloke who knocked Nick over. 

The players lined up- this was a penalty shot, Louis assumed. 

Nick lined himself up with the ball.

As if in slow motion, Louis watched his boyfriend kick the ball into the net, past the goalie’s outstretched arms. 

The audience erupted into cheers for Nick. 

Louis couldn’t help but grin with pride. 

And the game resumed. 

Louis tried to pay attention- he really did- but he soon fell bored watching the ball go back and forth between the teams. 

Soon, he found himself walking away from the field and in a whole new direction. 

He’d never been to the school on a weekend before. 

He had to admit- the school seemed pretty lonely without anyone there. 

It was kind of cool, though. 

Picking up his pace, he walked down the halls with a spring in his step. 

Noticing a sign, he paused. 

As he read it, he grinned. 

And with that, his stupid plan may have just gotten stupider. 

He ran to the gym doors, 

He tested them before he went in. 

Unlocked. 

Grinning like a madman, he sprinted across the gym floor, and went inside the locker rooms. 

They smelled of sweat and cologne. 

He scanned the lockers, which were organized by name, until he came to what he wanted: N. Grimshaw. 

He felt his pockets for anything to write on. 

Pulling out an old Nando’s receipt and a sharpie, he began his note. 

Hope you have fun at your Nan’s! All the love, L.

Smiling to himself, he tucked the note into the bag. 

Then, chaos arrived, in the form of sweaty, teenage football players. 

With no time to hide, Louis ran into the broom closet and closed it shut. 

Saying a little prayer, he begged none of the boys would have the sudden need for a mop. 

Time went by. 

Minutes seemed like hours, and Louis hadn’t moved an inch. 

He tried to remember how many boys were on the team, and attempted to calculate how long it would take for them to get out of the damn showers. 

Fuck it. 

He didn’t honestly care at this point. 

He just needed to get out of there.

He started coming up with an excuse for being in there as he groped around for the door handle in the darkness. 

Once he found it, he closed his hand around it, pulling it down. 

It was only when it didn’t open that Louis realized how stupid his plan was. 

With a groan, he threw his head back. 

This was going to be longer than expected. 

An eternity and a few minutes later, the noises finally quieted down. 

Except for one voice, barely audible. 

Louis pressed his ear to the door, straining his hearing. 

“... No, Mum, I’m dressed… No, I was changing into something nicer at home… Ok… Ok… See you in a few minutes.” Nick said. 

Louis sighed with relief as soon as he recognized his boyfriend’s voice.

He had to act quick. 

He pounded on the door twice, hoping Nick heard.

When he got no answer, he did it again. 

“Hello?” Nick asked.

“Nick!” Louis exclaimed. 

“Louis? Is that you?” 

“Yeah!”

“Where are you?” 

“In the closet.” Pause. “I can see the irony. Can you help me out?”

“Give me a minute.”

Louis blinked at the sudden brightness.

Nick smiled at his boyfriend. 

“What are you doing here, babe?”He asked. 

“I wanted to surprise you.” Louis admitted sheepishly.

“Well, you did that.” Nick said, kissing the top of Louis’ head. 

Louis felt giddy inside at the action.

“Did you get my note?” He asked. 

“I did.” Nick said. “I just kind of assumed that maybe you’d left it in there yesterday or something.”

Louis shrugged. 

“Oops?” He laughed.

Nick grinned at the other boy. 

“Thanks for coming.” He said. 

“It was my pleasure, now what do I get in return?”

Louis had meant the last bit as a joke, but it probably didn’t come across as one. 

Nick looked at his watch. 

“I have about five minutes.” He said suggestively. 

Louis smirked. 

“I’ll take it.” He said, leaning in. 

Their lips met in a heated, passionate manner. 

Louis felt butterflies in his stomach as he sat on the bench with Nick, turning the kiss deeper with each second. 

__________

“Aww.” Harry said. “I didn’t know you had it in you to be the romantic type, Loubear.”

Louis flushed a deep shade of crimson.   
“Cut it out,” he muttered softly. 

Harry smirked sassily.

“So, you and Nick…” He teased. “How long did the honeymoon phase last?”

“For pretty much our whole relationship. We were together pretty long, actually.” Louis said. “Five months.”

Harry raised his eyebrows.

“Wow.” He said. 

“Yeah…” Louis trailed off, looking down.

“I’m assuming something went wrong, and you’re about to talk about it.” Harry said. 

“That would be correct.” Louis said. 

“Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Harry offered sympathetically.

“No. I want to.” Louis said. 

__________

It was early January. 

Louis had been walking down the hall. 

People noticed and started snickering. 

He raised an eyebrow, but thought nothing of it. 

Suddenly, Zayn grabbed him by the arm, pulling him into an empty classroom. 

“It it true?” He demanded. “What they’re saying about you?”

“What the hell are you going off about, mate?” Louis asked. 

Zayn stared at him, a mix of fear and concern in his eyes. 

“You don’t know.” He breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Lovelies!
> 
> Sorry that it's been so long since I posted.
> 
> I tried to make this chapter a little longer than the others, so enjoy!
> 
> PS: This story is also on Wattpad, just in case you wanted to go show it some love over there. My username is the same. 
> 
> ~bluehairedbaby~


	9. Chapter Eight

“You don’t know.” Zayn breathed.

Louis could feel his heart beating wildly against the inside of his chest.

“Know what?” He croaked. 

Zayn looked out the door. 

Catching sight of Liam and Niall, he waved for them to enter. 

“Found him.” He told them.

“Louis!” Liam exclaimed. “We’ve been looking for you.”

“I gathered that. But why? What’s going on?” Louis asked desperately. 

Zayn closed the door. 

“You really have no idea?” Niall asked. 

“No! Please, stop being sketchy and just tell me!” Louis shouted. 

Liam sighed, and looked to Zayn and Niall for help. 

“Do you know Nick Grimshaw?” He asked Louis.

Oh no.

“Uh, yeah, he’s my mate.” Louis said. 

Zayn stared at him skeptically. 

“Are you sure?” He asked. 

Louis nodded his head. 

“Louis, everyone thinks that you’ve been- well, for lack of a better word- stalking him.” Liam said bluntly. 

What the fuck?

“Sorry, what?” Louis asked, voice cracking.

He was shaking at this point. 

Trembling from head to toe. 

Niall broke his silence. 

“Well?” He asked. “Is it true?”

Louis stared at his friend in shock. 

Surely they thought more of him to believe gossip first. 

“No! Nick, he’s- he’s…” He stammered, trying to force the words out. 

Zayn arched an eyebrow, making him look judgemental as fuck. 

“Well? What is he?” He demanded. 

Louis gulped. 

“He’s- well- he’s my boyfriend.” he admitted. 

The other three boys said nothing, only glancing at each other, as if they forgot Louis was staring right at them.

“I’m not lying.” He said. 

Liam put a hand on Louis’ shoulder. 

“Calm down. We’re not saying you are.” He said. 

Louis shoved his hand off.

“But you’re thinking it!” He shouted. “You’re believing what you’ve heard, and I don’t even know what that is because you haven’t fucking told me!”

Dead silence.

“Sorry.” Niall mumbled.

Louis sighed.

“It’s fine, Nialler, I’m just confused.” He said.

“Can you at least tell us what happened?” Zayn asked, softly this time. 

“How long have you and Nick been together?” Liam asked. 

Louis took a deep breath. 

“Since Aiden’s back to school party.”

Niall looked up sharply. 

“Wait. That was five months ago.” He said. “I was going to drive you home.”

“Well, you didn’t.” Louis said. “Nick did.”

“And did you guys- well, you know…” Niall trailed off awardly, making a suggestive gesture.

“No! No, no, of course not. We just kissed. We kissed that night, and that’s all we did.” Louis said, heart rate accelerating at the invasive question. 

“And this has been going on for five months?” Liam asked. 

Louis nodded.

He felt like throwing up.

On one hand, he felt like some huge, unknown weight had been lifted off his chest. 

On the other hand, he’d just outed Nick to his friends.

Yes, it was a dire situation, but the stab of guilt in his stomach made him question if even that justified what he’d just done. 

“You’re telling the truth, right?” Zayn asked. 

Liam elbowed him in the ribs.

“Zayn!” He exclaimed. 

“What? He’s just said he’s lied to us for five months straight, you can’t expect me to believe this just like that.” He snapped. 

“I didn’t lie to you guys.” Louis said through gritted teeth.

Zayn gestured wildly with his arms. 

“You never said you had a boyfriend.” He said. 

“I never said I didn’t.”

“It’s still lying by omission!” Zayn said.

“Look. I didn’t lie then, and I’m not lying now.” Louis burst out. “I didn’t tell you because Nick asked.”

Seeing his friend’s confused faces, he added, “He’s not out yet.”

Niall shuffled around nervously. 

“So how’d the rumors start?” He asked. 

Louis sighed, holding his head in his hands. 

“I don’t know. I didn’t mean for all this shit to happen, obviously, but I genuinely have no clue how this got out.” He said. 

Liam started tapping his foot on the ground, a sure sign he was deep in thought. 

“Have something you wanna say, Li?” Louis asked. 

Liam shrugged. 

“I think the best thing would be for you to talk to Nick about this. Get his side of the story.” He suggested. 

Louis nodded, swallowing hard. 

Liam looked at him, concern in his eyes. 

“Hey.” He said calmly, holding out his arms. “It’ll be alright.” 

Drunkenly, Louis stumbled into his friend.

“It’ll be alright.” Liam repeated.

“Yeah,” Niall said. “Don’t worry.”

Louis took a step back, nodding.

“Thanks.” He said. “Sorry for yelling.”

“Don’t be.” Liam said. “It’s all just some huge misunderstanding. We can fix this.”

Louis smiled at Liam, amused by his naivety. 

He looked adorable, puppy dog eyes and all, of course he believed a flick of the hand would fix the whole debacle.

Louis exhaled shakily, only now realizing how long he’d been holding his breath.

He turned to Zayn, who stared back skeptically. 

With a sigh, Zayn reached out his arms and caught Louis in an embrace.

A little taken aback, Louis stood with his arms at an awkward angle, not knowing whether or not to wrap them around his friend.

Zayn took a step back. 

“Don’t do anything stupid.” He said. 

Louis nodded, not knowing if that was a suggestion he should take or a warning he should fear. 

He opened his mouth, trying to say something, but no words came out. 

Shaking his head, he ran out of the classroom without warning.

Ignoring his friends’ protests, he hurried down the hall. 

Glancing at his watch, he noted that class had started five minutes ago. 

Rubbing his eyes, he headed into the nearest bathroom.

Which, luckily for him, was empty. 

He pulled out his phone, and started writing a message to his boyfriend. 

To Nick <3: Can we talk please?

He sighed, leaning against the counter. 

His phone buzzed. 

From Nick <3: I’m in class

To Nick <3: Please

To Nick <3: I need you

From Nick <3: Where are you

To Nick <3: bathroom

Louis watched the read icon pop up underneath his last text.

A minute went by.

No response.

He groaned. 

The door swung open.

Nick burst in, eyes wide.

Louis sighed in relief.

“Thank God,” He said. “I was beginning to think you’d-”

Nick cut him off, placing a finger to Louis’ lips, before ducking to ensure nobody was lurking in the stalls. 

“There’s no one here.” Louis told him.

“Just making sure.” Nick said. 

He went up to Louis, and leaned in close, meeting their lips together in a slow and soft kiss.

Louis wanted to give in, but chose otherwise. 

“Wait! Haven’t you heard what they’re saying about me?” He asked. 

Nick looked confused for a minute, then silently went “aha!” in his mind. 

“Oh, that,” He said with a dismissive wave of the hand. “Yeah. Some of my mates saw a message you sent me, so I just told them you kind of have a crush on me so they wouldn’t think anything.”

Louis’ mouth dropped in shock. 

Nick stood smirking, looking awfully proud of himself. 

“What?” Louis asked. “You started the rumors?”

Nick shrugged. 

“I was really scared!” He said. “I just thought it would turn out better for both of us.”

Louis shook his head, walking away from the counter. 

“They’re saying I’m stalking you, Nick.” He said with disgust. “People go to jail for that.”

“Oh, rubbish.” Nick said. “That’s shit. People go to jail for stealing and killing, not flirty texting.”

“But people are still talking trash about me. I get that you’re not used to that, because you are friends with literally everyone, but I rely on a clean reputation.” Louis said.

“Haven’t you ever heard of taking one for the team?” Nick asked. 

Louis couldn’t believe it. 

“You are unbelievable!” He almost yelled. 

Nick shushed him. 

“Quiet, babe, someone might hear.” 

“I don’t care!” Louis said. “You’re purposefully talking trash about me to save your own skin. How do you think that makes me feel?”

“I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal.” Nick said. 

“Well, it is to me.” Louis said. 

“I’m sorry,” Nick said. “How can I make it up to you-”

“Quiet!” Louis said. 

Nick looked really concerned. 

“I can’t do this if I’m always the one to take a fall.” Louis said. 

“What do you mean?” Nick laughed nervously.

“I mean, that I don’t want to be with you anymore.” Louis blurted out. 

It shocked him just as much as Nick. 

But, it wasn’t untrue. 

“Hold on,” Nick said. “We can fix this.”

“No.” Louis said. “You think you can, but this won’t be the end. Nick, what were we thinking? You would just stay in the closet forever? We’d go on like this until the end of time? Face it, this was going to fail from the start.”

Nick started shaking.

“But I don’t want to.” He pleaded. “Please, just hang on a little longer?”

Louis shook his head profusely. 

“I’m sorry. I love you, but I can’t do this forever.”

He started to turn towards the door. 

“Wait.” Nick said. 

Louis turned around at his boyfriend- no, his ex. 

“What?” He asked. 

“Can you kiss me one last time?” Nick asked sheepishly. “I don’t know when the next time I’ll be able to kiss a guy.”

Louis thought about saying no for a minute. 

But that would be cruel, and he’s not cruel. 

He nodded, and stepped closer to the boy. 

They were both breathing shakily, half an inch from the other’s face.

Louis closed his eyes, and slowly moved him. 

Their lips connected briefly. 

In all honesty, if their first kiss was fireworks, this last one was like a dying spark, slowly fading out of existence. 

The two boys pulled apart.

Louis stared at Nick for a second.

The older boy was tearing up, and swallowing rapidly. 

After a few more awkward seconds, Louis turned and ran out of the bathroom. 

He ran, and he ran, and he ran, until he was sitting on the bench in the park he and his friends loved so much. 

He sat there for forever.

He didn’t cry, or scream, or anything. 

He just sat there. 

It wasn’t going to do him any good to try and lament what he’d just let go of. 

The only thing to do now was to forget. 

__________

Harry sat quietly, not knowing if there was a correct thing to say after what he’d just heard.

He’d never been through a break up before. 

“Nick graduated last year.” Louis said. “He went to university in London on a football scholarship. As far as I’ve heard, he’s still not out.”

“Wow.” Harry said. “That’s sad.”

“Yeah.” Louis said. “The rumors started to die in April, luckily. People found other things to talk about.”

“I’m sorry, Lou.” Harry said. 

Louis waved his hand. 

“Ah, it’s all fine now. I wasn’t going to let it break my heart.” He said.

Harry nodded, but realized how Louis stared morosely at the ground. 

“Here.” He said, holding out his arms. 

Louis arched an eyebrow, looking confused at the sudden gesture, but accepted the hug. 

Harry sighed as he wrapped his arms around the other boy. 

After a while, Louis felt his heart rate rise. 

How long was this hug supposed to last?

Harry pulled away eventually, a smile on his face.

Louis thought for a minute. 

“Do you wanna come over?” He asked. 

“Like, right now?” Harry asked.

“Yeah.” Louis said, scared of a negative answer. 

“I’ll have to ask,” Harry said slowly, “but I think that’ll be fine.”

Louis smiled.

“Great!” He said. “Be warned, my younger sisters may try and take over while you’re there.”

Harry laughed.

Louis felt ecstatic. 

The boy of his dreams could very possibly be hanging out with him that afternoon.

In addition, their master plan was in effect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry (late) Christmas, or anything else you celebrate!
> 
> If you have any ideas, please leave them down in the comments!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> ~bluehairedbaby~


	10. Chapter Nine

Harry listened to the phone as it kept ringing. 

He tapped his foot nervously. 

He didn’t want to keep Louis waiting, but Brandon had already let it go to voicemail three times. 

His nerves were somewhat relieved as Brandon finally picked up. 

“What do you want, Harry?” He said gruffly.

Harry shifted nervously, wondering if he should just lie to Louis, and say that Brandon said no. 

He hesitated, situations playing in his head. 

He could ask, and Brandon could say no. He would have to watch Louis’ face fall as he explained he wasn’t allowed.

He could ask, and Brandon could say yes, and he could have fun at Louis’ for a while.

Or Brandon could say but revoke that later, and Harry would go to sleep with more bruises that needed to be hidden. 

“Harry?” Brandon asked, a note of fear in his voice. 

Harry briefly considered questioning this, but decided to just go ahead and ask. 

“Yeah- um, well, one of my friends asked me to come over, and I was wondering if that might be alright with you?”

Pause. 

“Honestly, H, I don’t really give a fuck about what you do tonight.” Brandon sighed. 

That’s a surprise. 

“What?” Harry asked. 

Brandon was usually so controlling of his actions, what was this about?

His boyfriend sighed again.

“Xander’s making me do another run tonight.” He explained. 

Harry felt his heart sink.

“But you promised.” He said. 

“I know. This isn’t permanent.” Brandon said. 

That’s what you said last time. Harry thought.

“Ok, then. Will I see you at all tonight?” He asked. 

“I don’t think so, baby. It’s out of town.” Brandon said. 

Harry swallowed. 

Maybe he could ask to stay at Louis’ house overnight?

The thought gave him butterflies, for some weird reason. 

Pushing the fluttering feeling out of his mind, he decided against the idea. Some alone time might be beneficial. 

“Ok, then. See you tomorrow,” Harry said, about to hang up.

“Wait.” Brandon said. 

“Yes?”

“Don’t you love me?”

“Of course, baby.” Harry said nervously, realizing his mistake. 

“Say it.”

“I love you.” Harry said. 

He half expected Brandon to say something else, but he instead heard the sound of being hung up. 

He put his phone in his pocket, and grabbed his backpack. 

“Well, what did he say?” Louis asked. 

“He said it’s cool.” Harry said, smiling.

Louis grinned. 

Harry felt the weird fluttering feeling in his stomach again.

Why was that happening?

“That’s great, I’ll just text my mum to say you’re coming over.” Louis said. 

He pulled out his phone and started walking down the road. 

Harry jogged after him to keep up.

“I don’t live far, I hope you don’t mind walking.” Louis said apologetically. 

“No, I don’t mind.” Harry said. “I walk to school as well.”

Which was true. Brandon had dropped him off once or twice, but made him walk the twenty minutes as not to “raise any suspicions.”

Louis put him phone back into the pocket of his jacket. 

“So, Hazza, what do you like to do?” He asked. 

“What?” 

“You know, stuff you’re interested in. It just occurred to me that I’ve been friends with you for almost three months, and know virtually nothing about you.”

“Oh… well, I like music, I guess.” Harry said.

“Do you play anything?” Louis asked. 

“No, I used to play guitar a little, but I haven’t in a long time.” Harry said, bitterly remembering Brandon’s refusal to bring his beloved instrumental. 

“I’m saving you from this dump of a town. You want me to go back just for your stupid toy? Forget it, Harry.” His boyfriend had said. 

“What music do you like to listen to?” Louis asked, snapping him back into the present. 

“Um, I like stuff like Fleetwood Mac, and, um, Oasis and stuff.”

“Cool!” Louis said. “Me too.”

“Really?” Harry asked. “Name one of their songs.” 

Louis gulped. “Wasn’t there one called like, um, wonder, wonder- something?”

Harry laughed. “Wonderwall.” He corrected Louis. 

Louis shrugged. 

“Oh, look, we’re here!” He said. 

Harry blinked when he said that.

They’d only walked for like, five minutes, how were they there already?

“Coming?” Louis asked. 

Harry nodded, and followed Louis into the two story house. 

Instantly he was greeted by the sounds of several small children. 

“Alright, girls, part the waters.” Louis called. 

Harry focused on the scene in front of him.

They had stepped into the kitchen, where four pairs of eyes watched him closely. 

“Um, everyone, this is Harry, Harry, these are my sisters, or some of them at least. That’s Lottie,” Louis said, pointing, “Fizzy, Daisy, and Phoebe. The twins are probably napping right now.”

Harry waved a hello to the girls, feeling awkward. 

“Hi Harry!” The oldest one, Lottie, said. “How are you today?”

“I’m doing fine, thanks.” Harry said. 

“Are you Louis’ boyfriend?” One of the twins asked suddenly.

He stifled a laugh, as he watched Louis grow really red. The other girls didn’t bother hiding their amusement, filling the room with laughter.

“Phoebe!” Louis hissed at her. 

“Sorry.” She said, laughing.

“What’s so funny?” A woman came into the room. 

Harry assumed this must be Louis’ mum. 

“Ah, you must be Harry!” Johannah said, clasping Harry’s hand in hers and shaking it. “It’s lovely to meet you, dearie.”

“You too.” Harry smiled back. 

“Girls, why don’t you run off, I’m sure the boys would like some time to hang out alone.” She said to her daughters. 

Turning her focus to her son, she said, “I’ve got to keep an eye on the babies, but you two can grab a snack, and just do whatever.”

“Thanks, mum.” Louis said. Grabbing a bag of crisps, he turned to Harry. “C’mon Haz! Let’s go to my room.”

Harry followed him upstairs, into the small bedroom of Louis’. 

“Your family’s…” Harry trailed off. 

“Insane? Tell me about it.” Louis said, sitting back on his bed. 

“Well, that wasn’t the word I was looking for. I was going to say lovely, but you seem to think otherwise.”

Louis shrugged.

“They’re family. They drive you mad and you still end up loving ‘em.” He said. 

Harry nodded, sitting down in a chair by louis’ desk. 

He supposed that was true. 

Seeing Louis’ family made him miss his own.

How was his mum? Or Gemma? 

Were they alright?

They probably didn’t even care that he was gone. 

Like Brandon said, he’s just a waste of space. 

“Whatcha thinking about?” Louis asked. 

Harry looked up, trying to think of a question to ask. 

“How did they react to you coming out?” He gestured toward the door. 

Louis went quiet, and stopped chewing the crisps he’d shoved in his mouth. 

“Well, they were obviously really accepting, as you can tell by Phoebe’s question…. Sorry about that, by the way.”

“No, it’s fine. I wasn’t bothered.”

Harry could swear he saw Louis blush, but he couldn’t tell for sure.

“I’m just trying to remember the details of the story.” Louis said. “Here we go…”

___________

“Mum?” Louis asked Johannah.

He was only twelve years old at the time. 

“Yes, sweetie?” She asked back. 

He swallowed. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” 

“Of course. What’s on your mind?”

Louis started breathing heavily. He could feel tears running down his cheeks, but he didn’t remember crying.

“Sweetie, you’re going to have a panic attack. Can you calm down for a minute and tell me what’s wrong?” Johannah asked. 

He hiccuped- once, maybe twice- and took a deep breath. 

“Mum, there’s this guy, that I really like.” He said. “But not like a friend. I like him the way I’m supposed to be liking girls.”

Johannah drew in a breath, softly, but audibly. 

“Oh, darling.” She cried, wrapping her arms round Louis. “That’s alright. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Louis cried into her shoulder. 

“You’re not mad?” He asked.

“Why would I be? I was scared you were going to tell me something really bad, not this.” She took his faces in her hands. “You love who you want to love. And if that so happens to be a guy, then it is what it is.” 

Louis sniffled a little, smiling at her. 

“Thanks, mum.”

___________

“My sisters started picking up on it slowly. I did have to explain what ‘gay’ meant to Phoebe and Daisy, but I think they got it.” Louis finished. “I’d already told my mates before anyone else, so they knew.”

Harry smiled at the story. “That’s nice.” He said. 

“What about you?” Louis asked. “How did you tell your family?”

Harry felt his heart rate pick up. 

Time to think of a lie. 

“Well, I haven’t really.” He said awkwardly. Which was true. He didn’t get a chance to tell them before- well, you know. 

“Why not?” Louis pressed. 

“Well, I never knew my mum. She died a long time ago.” Harry said, the lie tasting extremely far fetched on his tongue. “And my dad left a couple years ago. I live with my brother… He doesn’t really pay attention to me enough to care about something like that.”

“I’m sorry.” Louis said. “No one deserves that.”

“It’s fine.” Harry said. “My shitty upbringing isn’t your fault.”

Louis said nothing, but held out his arms to hug Harry. 

Harry gladly accepted the hug, feeling uneasy after that wild tale. 

“Thanks.” He mumbled. 

Before he lets go, he realizes something else- the butterflies were back. 

And, it would seem this time, for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years, Lovelies!! I hope 2020 treats you well!!
> 
> All the love,
> 
> ~bluehairedbaby~


	11. Chapter Ten

As the weeks went by, the butterflies stayed. 

Even though Harry wished as hard as he could that they would fade away, they stubbornly stayed put in his stomach. 

If anything, they grew stronger. 

It was now the middle of November, and the butterflies still wouldn’t leave, so Harry just decided to ignore them instead, which was hard, especially considering he saw Louis, like, five different times a day. 

He wanted to talk to Brandon about it, but didn’t out of fear of what would happen. 

After he spent that one afternoon at Louis’ house, he went home to an empty house, and waited for Brandon to come home the next morning. 

The minute his boyfriend stepped through the door, he didn’t even bother to respond to Harry’s greeting. He went straight up to the teenager and forced his tongue down his throat and his hand in his pants, even though Harry said no. 

Protesting had earned him a slap across the cheek, so he just kept quiet until Brandon had finished and passed out on their bed, leaving Harry to clean himself up.

After that, Harry just decided to keep to himself, quiet and solemn. 

He acted the same way he usually did around his friends, but as soon as he got home he became reserved and withdrawn, afraid of getting hurt. 

His plan of staying out of trouble normally worked, until the previous day, when Harry accidentally talked to Liam and Niall longer than he should have. 

He walked into his home five minutes late, and was greeted by a furious Brandon. 

As he sat in his chair in music class, Harry rubbed at his stomach, hoping it wasn’t obvious how much pain he was in. 

He held the lyrics to a song he liked, one that he’d been working on for a while. 

He looked up at Zayn and Louis, who were writing vulgar things on the dry erase board, and at Liam, who was trying to cover up what Louis and Zayn were writing. 

Niall sat in a chair in the corner, smiling at his phone, probably texting “Emi,” if she even existed. 

Gigi sat with a group of three other girls that Harry barely knew the names of. They were gossiping about one thing or another.

Mr. Reed stepped into the room, quietly. 

When it appeared that no one was aware of his presence besides Harry, the teacher beckoned him over. 

Harry was a little confused at first, but went over. 

“Hey, Harry, I was wanting to talk to you about something.” Mr. Reed said.

“Yeah?”

“I know that you and I have been working on a few things in private, but I think that today’s a great opportunity for you to perform for the class.” His teacher said. 

Harry’s eyes widened as he shook his head. 

“No. Sorry, no, I’m just not ready yet.” He blurted out, nerves taking ahold of him. 

Mr. Reed sighed. “Look, Harry,” He said, “I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to, but think about it at least. You’d only be performing for your friends.”

Harry thought for a minute. 

He saw his teacher’s point. 

They were his friends, but he still choked up just thinking about singing to them.

Up till now, he’d done all their assignments in front of just Mr. Reed, not anyone else. 

“Ok, I’ll do it.” Harry said, regretting the words almost as soon as he said them. 

Mr. Reed smiled. “Great! Don’t be worried, Harry, you have a great voice, they’ll think so as well.”

Harry sighed and turned back into the room.

Mr. Reed clapped his hands together and said, “Alright, I want you lot to give Harry your undivided attention. He’s going to sing a solo for us. Have you picked something yet, Harry?”

“Uh, yeah.” Harry said. “Isn’t She Lovely by Stevie Wonder.”

He took a deep breath, feeling all the eyes in the room on him.

Relaxing, he opened his mouth, and began to sing. 

“Isn’t she lovely? 

Isn’t she wonderful? 

Isn’t she precious, less than one minute old? 

And I never thought through love we’d be making one as lovely as she,

but isn’t she lovely, made from love?” 

He stopped and opened his eyes, which he just now realized were shut tight. 

He saw Louis first. 

He was watching him intently, jaw slightly ajar. 

He sat like that for a moment, before he began to clap for Harry. 

Harry grinned as his fellow students applauded his performance. 

“Well done, Harry.” Mr. Reed said. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

Harry nodded and sat down in the chair he was in before. 

Mr. Reed got up and began to talk to them about their assignment for the next week. 

Harry barely noticed; he felt light headed with excitement.

When class ended, he waited by the door for Louis, who walked straight up to him.

“Great job, mate!” Louis said loudly, right in his ear. 

He clapped Harry on the back in congratulations. 

Harry winced at the sudden contact, but Louis must’ve not realized, as he kept leading them down the hallway to their lockers.

“You should’ve told me you could sing!” Liam said, coming up from behind them.

Harry blushed and looked down at his feet.

“It was nothing, really.” He said. 

Liam made a coughing noise. 

“Are you kidding me? That was amazing!” He said in disbelief. 

Harry bit his lip, nervous for no reason whatsoever. 

How could they be praising him? 

They must be lying to make him feel better.

Zayn walked up to them. 

“Hey, awesome job, Harry!” He said. 

Harry arched an eyebrow in confusion. 

“Are you guys really that impressed or just lying to make me feel better?” He asked. 

Louis clutched his hand to his heart in mock hurt. 

“You wound me, Hazza!” He laughed. “No, you were great!”

“You should join the band!” Liam said suddenly. 

Harry chuckled at his friend’s humor, until he realized that Liam wasn’t joking. 

“Yes!” Louis exclaimed. “That would be amazing!” 

Harry shook his head. 

“I don’t know. You guys are loads more confident than I am.” He said. 

“Ah, you’ll work on that.” Zayn said. 

“Yeah, it’s just stage fright.” Liam added. “We can help you. Please?”

Harry looked at Liam, who was staring at him with his pleading puppy dog eyes. 

He sighed in amusement, and said, “Maybe.”

Louis cheered, just as Niall came up behind Harry. 

The Irish lad jumped up on Harry, surprising him. 

Harry didn’t see it coming, he just felt a sudden pain in his back right where Brandon had taken his anger out on him the other night. 

He cried out in pain, startling Niall.

He got off of Harry almost as quickly as he’d pounced on him, pulling up Harry’s shirt in the meantime, exposing the ugliest bruises the lads had ever seen to them. 

The boys all collectively gasped, and Liam even reached out to touch Harry’s stomach. 

Harry pulled his shirt down fast. 

“What the fuck?” Louis asked. “Harry, what was that?”

“Nothing.” Harry snapped. 

“You’re fucking black and blue, Harry.” Zayn said. “That’s not nothing.”

Harry felt his heart race rise.

He started breathing quickly and sharply; every inhale was like a stab to the lungs. 

His palms were sweating profusely as he reached for his locker, hoping to get what he needed and to get out of there as quickly as possible. 

“Harry, if someone’s hurting you, we need to know! We just want to help you.” Liam said. 

“No one is fucking hurting me!” Harry hissed. “I’m fine, can’t you see that!” 

With a turn of the heel, he was on his way, running down the hall. 

Louis briefly considered chasing after him, but didn’t.

It would be better to talk to him after he’s cooled off. 

“Well, that went brilliantly.” Zayn muttered. 

“Sorry.” Niall said. 

“Nah, don’t worry Nialler. Not your fault.” Louis said. 

“So what do we do now?” Liam asked. 

“I don’t know.” Louis said. “I really don’t.”

He turned around and started walking the opposite direction Harry had gone in.

“Where ya going, Tommo?” Niall asked. 

“Mr. Reed!” Louis called. “I wanted to talk to him.”

And so he made his way back to the music room.

Entering, he looked around for his teacher.

He found him, standing by the piano, sorting through some sheet music. 

“Um, Mr. Reed?” He asked timidly. 

The teacher looked up and smiled at the sight of his student.

“Yes, Louis? Did you want to talk to me about something?” 

Louis walked up to the piano and rested his elbows on it, thinking of what he was going to say. 

“I know this sounds weird, but have you ever known anyone who was hurt at home- you know, like abused?” He asked. 

Mr. Reed’s normally cheery face went very solemn. 

“Yes.” He answered. 

“Well, what did you do?” Louis asked. 

Mr. Reed closed his eyes, deep in thought.

“Well, there was this girl in my class, and she was one of my best friends. And one day, she started showing up to school with these bruises all over her.” He said. “Me and a few other friends started to worry about her a lot. We asked what was going on, and she’d always say she fell out of a tree or something stupid.  
“One day, she showed up to my house, and she was really hurt, her nose was bleeding and everything. She was crying real hard, and she told us that her mother had taken up drinking after her parents’ divorce. She said that her mum beat her whenever she got drunk and in a rage.  
“We called the police. Her mother lost custody, and she went to live with her dad.”

He looked at Louis intensely. 

“Might I ask who this friend of yours is?”

Louis shifted uncomfortably. 

“The thing is, I don’t know for sure.” He said. 

“That doesn’t matter. It’s always a good thing to make sure.” Mr. Reed said. 

Louis nodded. “It’s Harry.” He said. “Just- something seems off.”

“I can call his parents and ask if they’ve noticed anything different lately.” Mr. Reed said. “Thanks for telling me, Louis.”

Louis nodded, smiling. 

It felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest.

He turned around, but before he left, he asked, “Mr. Reed, what ended up happening to the girl you knew?”

His teacher sighed happily, fingering the wedding band on his left hand.

“I love her.” He said softly. 

Louis smiled in understanding. 

Leaving the room, he couldn’t help but feel like things were only going to get better from here on out. 

It was such a shame that he didn’t know how wrong he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years, and new decade, I guess?
> 
> I hope that each and every one of you is doing alright. I don't think I ever say how grateful I am for you guys taking time to give my works a read. It honestly means the world to me, so thank you very much!!
> 
> All the love, 
> 
> ~bluehairedbaby~


	12. Chapter Eleven

Harry stepped over the threshold, anger and fear reading in his gut. 

What had just happened?

He almost blown it for Brandon and himself.

He was so stupid!

How was he supposed to fix this?

They all saw the bruise, they know he’s lying, they can see right through him-

“Harry!” Brandon yelled. 

Harry flinched, seeing the older man come rushing toward him, phone in hand. 

Without saying another word, Brandon delivered a swift blow to Harry’s already bruised stomach.

Harry cried out, dropping to the floor. 

Brandon was relentless, throwing punches and kicks at Harry’s torso from all directions. 

When he was finally finished, he asked, “Do you wanna tell me why I got a call from your teacher today?”

Harry groaned in response.

“Tell me, you little son of a bitch!” Brandon screamed, pulling Harry up by the collar. 

“I don’t know, please, I really don’t!” Harry cried, tears streaming down his face. “Please don’t hurt me again!”

Brandon leaned in close to his face.

So close, Harry could feel the air coming from Brandon’s flared nostrils. 

“You don’t know, huh?” Brandon asked. “Well, I hope you’ll learn your lesson after this.”

He dragged Harry down the hall, and threw him onto their bed. 

Harry just lay there in shock, not moving. 

He knew what was coming. 

It’ll hurt less if you keep still.

As Brandon pulled Harry’s pants down, he couldn’t help but silently sob.

Where had everything gone wrong?

___________

“What did you tell Mr. Reed?” Zayn asked Louis. 

“Just that I think something’s wrong with Harry.” Louis said. “He talked to me about it a little.”

“What did he say?” Liam asked.

“He said that he would call and make sure everything’s ok.” Louis said. 

Everything was quiet for a minute. 

“So is it over?” Niall asked quietly. 

Louis sighed. 

“I sure hope so, Nialler.” He said. 

“What’s going to happen now?” Liam asked. 

“I don’t know.” Louis said. 

He wanted it to be better. 

But was he being naive in believing that one phone call was going to magically make everything better?

He imagined Harry, crying crocodile tears from his beautiful emerald eyes, thanking him, confessing everything that happened to him. 

His brother would be cursing, led away by the police, struggling against his restraints. 

The police car door would slam in his face, satisfying Louis and Harry to see the monster carried away for good.

Harry and Louis would turn towards each other, and blue eyes would meet green. 

Harry would open his mouth to say that he was so lucky to have Louis, and that he was his hero. 

Louis would say nothing, slowly closing the gap between their faces, softly kissing those plump pink lips of Harry’s. 

Harry would kiss back, slowly and tenderly, and when they parted, he would pledge to love Louis forever. 

Louis would do the same, before taking the younger boy’s hand and leading him down the road, into a blissful future-

“Louis?” Liam asked.

Louis shook his head, trying to shake back into reality. 

How long had he zoned out for?

“You seem a little lost.” Liam said. 

“Sorry.” Louis said. 

“What were you thinking about?” Zayn asked. 

“Nothing,” Louis muttered. 

“I bet you were thinking about Harry.” Niall piped up.

Louis pursed his lips together, and turned away, hoping the boys didn’t see him blushing. 

“Holy shit!” Niall cried, jumping up. “I was right!”

Louis shut his eyes, shaking his head. 

“Wait, what?” Liam asked, excited. “Is he right, Tommo?”

Louis sighed. 

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. 

Taking a breath, he said, “Yeah.”

He heard the other boys cry out in their excitement. 

“Why?” Zayn asked. 

“Yeah, Tommo, why?” Niall asked, “You gotta crush or something?”

Louis didn’t say anything, hoping it would end there. 

“No fucking way.” Niall breathed. “You do have a crush on him!”

Louis whipped around, facing Niall, who was sitting contentedly on the park bench, a smirk on his face. 

“Shut it!” He said. “I don’t want anyone else to hear.”

Liam gestured around at the empty park. 

“Who’s going to hear?” He laughed. “So, is it true?”

Louis sighed. 

There was no getting away with this one, was there?

“Yes,” he admitted. “But don’t tell anyone!”

Niall laughed in shock. 

“We want details.” He demanded. 

Louis sighed, sitting down beside his friends. 

“What do want to know?” He asked. 

Niall turned to face him. 

“When did it start?” He asked. 

“First day.” Louis said, not missing a beat.

“Why? What about him attracted you?” Niall continued to grill Louis. 

Louis thought for a minute. 

“His eyes.” He decided. “They’re just so pretty and green and, I dunno, innocent.”

“Eyes are the windows to the soul.” Zayn quoted. 

This went on for a while. The boys asked Louis for all of the details, and he gladly obliged. 

It was kind of therapeutic, in a way, just to be able to talk about how he felt. 

It was nice to get it off his chest- at least to his friends.

It was good enough for him. 

It wasn’t like he had the guts to talk directly to Harry. 

Not yet, at least. 

He was waiting for the right time. 

And if that time never came, he was fine with that. 

Better to keep secret than to fail, right?

“You should ask him out.” Liam said.

“What? No, no, no, no.” Louis said, shaking his head several times. “No. Not doing that.”

“Why not?” Liam persisted. “You like him, I’m pretty positive he likes you…”

“What?” Louis asked, heart racing.

“Oh, come on. He totally does. He gets all bashful everytime you talk to him.” Liam said with a wave of his hand. 

“That’s what Gigi did before I asked her out.” Zayn said. 

“And Maya.” Liam said. 

“And Emi.” Niall added.

“Except our girlfriends are real, Niall.” Liam said, turning to the Irish boy.

Niall threw his hands up in frustration.

“I’m telling you, she’s real!” He said. 

“Yeah, whatever.” Liam said. “The point is, Harry definitely likes you.” 

Louis caught his breath.

“You really think so?” He asked.

“Of course!” Liam chuckled. “Why would I lie to you?”

“Maybe you’re just an asshole trying to screw me over.” Louis said, trying to keep a straight face. 

He felt his face burn up. 

There was no hiding how much he was blushing. 

“Look, we’re hanging out tomorrow, maybe ask him over.” Liam suggested. 

Louis nodded, whipping out his phone, quickly typing out a message to the curly haired boy.

“How about this: Hey, we’re hanging out at Liam’s tomorrow, do you wanna join us?” He asked his friends, looking for their approval.

When they nodded, he looked back at his phone screen, and tapped send. 

After a minute or two, he got the notification that Harry had read it. 

With bated breath, he waited for a response. 

Harry seemed to put a lot of thought into his reply, that or he was just really slow at typing.

He must’ve watched the three little dancing on his screen for at least five minutes. 

After a while, he finally got Harry’s message: ‘Yeah, that would be great. What time?” 

He smiled, quickly sending a response, before closing his phone and shoving it back in his pocket. 

He couldn’t wait. 

___________  
Harry sighed as he saw Louis’ response, complete with little smiley faces. 

He was sitting up, trying to ignore the ache in his thighs.

Brandon was slumped over on the other side of the bed, snoring away. 

Harry knew he should probably put some clothes back on, but it hurt to try and stand. 

He’d asked his boyfriend a minute or two ago if it was ok to head over to Liam’s the next day. 

Brandon agreed dismissively, trying to fall asleep. 

Harry was happy to be invited, don’t get him wrong, but he felt wrong doing it. 

After all, he’d just had sex with Brandon, and then immediately texting Louis.

He felt dirty. 

Had any of his friends ever even done anything below the belt?

Knowing them, they probably wouldn’t have. 

Except maybe Louis. He had a few choice words to say about Nick that left Harry wondering.

If they knew, they would probably call him a slut. 

Well, it wouldn’t be anything new. 

Would it sound different coming from someone other than Brandon?

He shook his head. 

He was tired. 

He should just be grateful they even bothered to invite him.

He knew he didn’t deserve it. 

He didn’t deserve anything.

He was just a waste of space, which Brandon constantly reminded him of.

With the hangout to look forward to the next day, he eased himself back down onto the bed, pulling the covers over himself. 

Hissing at the burning feeling in between his legs, he tried to think of something else to keep his mind off the pain. 

Think of Louis.

Focusing on the now-familiar feeling of those pesky butterflies, he smiled softly to himself, letting himself doze off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~bluehairedbaby~


	13. Chapter Twelve

When Harry woke up, he was alone. 

Brandon must’ve already gotten up, leaving Harry all by himself in their bed, shivering at the sudden cold. 

There must've been a cold front last night. 

Finally, Harry thought.

It was officially December. 

The first day of the wintry month also marked an anniversary in Harry’s life. 

Four years ago, to this date, Harry had been taken away from everything he knew, and thrust into the nightmare he now lived.

He remembered screaming and kicking, mostly on his part. 

He had just gotten home, only to find Brandon standing in the middle of his living room. 

Twenty minutes later, he was staring out the window of his boyfriend’s car, with only the clothes on his back, saying goodbye to his childhood home for good. 

He bet nobody even noticed he’d left. 

They probably were glad to be rid of him, finally. 

After all, if they cared, they would’ve tried to find him by now. 

Stop thinking about them. He thought, rubbing his eyes, only now realizing the tears streaming down his cheeks. 

Ashamed, he dried his eyes, and got up, ignoring the pain from the day before. 

Pulling up his trousers, he looked at himself in the mirror without his shirt on. 

He could see his ribs. 

That couldn’t be good.

Seeing his reflection made him pick out all his flaws. 

He was too skinny, he knew that. 

But Brandon never allowed him to go out of the house, except to go to school, and there was rarely food at home. 

He also realized why the boys made such a huge fuss over his bruises yesterday. 

They were massive, ugly, and purple. 

He slapped his forehead, only now realizing that he was about to go over to Liam’s house and meet up with his friends after yesterday’s incident. 

He hoped that they wouldn’t mention it, or try to question him about his home life again. 

Trying to distract himself from the sinking feeling in his stomach, he grabbed a shirt from the floor, and tugged it over his head. 

Stepping out of the room, he headed to the kitchen, resolving to see if they had anything that hadn’t already expired. 

Finding nothing, he sat down on the couch instead, with his phone.

It hit him suddenly that Brandon was nowhere to be found. 

Bitterly, he remembered that his boyfriend had to do a run today. 

He hated that Brandon wouldn’t stop dealing drugs, after all, he criticized Harry all the time for almost blowing their cover, while doing illegal things at the same time. 

There were so many times Harry had wanted to make this point to Brandon, but didn’t, stopping another beating before it started. 

It was too early to head out to Liam’s, seeing as it was only ten. 

But he could start heading over at ten forty-five, and arrive on time, or even a little early. 

He set an alarm for when he would head out, and put his phone down on the counter, while he patiently waited forty-five minutes. 

___________

When the timer went off, Harry had already forgotten he’d set it. 

But he jumped up, remembering what he meant to do, as he grabbed a jacket and pulled on his shoes. 

He grabbed his phone, and shoved it in his pocket, along with his key, and walked out the door, locking it before he started to walk down the street. 

Doncaster had started to get into the Christmas spirit, it appeared, as Harry passed people out in their front lawns, decorating their doors and windows and whatnot. 

He smiled and waved at a few of them, and they smiled back. 

It was an unusual feeling, that he recognized many of these people because of watching them from the cracks in the window blinds, but to them, he was just another boy walking down their road, not their neighbor. 

He always wished he could go and say hi, but it was against the rules. 

He saw lots carry in their Christmas trees as well. 

Seemed a bit early for that, but then again, he didn’t know. 

The last time he celebrated the holidays, he was twelve. 

Since then, either he and Brandon spent Christmas in some dingy hotel, or they simply didn’t have the time or money or presents and a tree. 

December twenty-fifth just didn’t mean anything special to him anymore. 

He looked down at the pavement underneath his feet. 

He could’ve used new shoes, a long time ago in fact, and not just Brandon’s old ones that were too worn and too big. 

He still had yet to fill these ones out, with an inch or two’s worth of space to wiggle his toes in. 

He pulled out his phone and checked the directions. 

The time was 11:56, and he was supposed to turn right. 

Rounding the corner, he spied Liam’s house at the very end of the street. 

It was bigger than he’d expected. 

Walking up, he couldn’t help but stare in awe. 

It definitely stood out from the rest of the houses in the neighborhood. 

He walked all the way up to the front door, and knocked. 

He heard scuffling on the other side of the door. 

Liam opened it, and smiled widely at the sight.

“Harry!” He cried. “Glad you came!”

Harry smiled back at him. 

“Thanks for letting me come,” he said, stepping into the house, and kicking off his shoes. 

“No problem. My family’s out of town, after all.” Liam said. “The girls aren’t here yet, but the boys are in the kitchen.” 

Harry followed Liam into the room he gestured into, where Louis, Niall, and Zayn were seated at the table. 

“Hey, guys,” Harry said, feeling awkward tension in the room. “I just wanted to say sorry about yesterday-”

“Don’t, it’s fine,” Niall said.

“Sure?” Harry asked.

“Absolutely. We were just worried.” Louis said. “You’re our mate.”

“Did anything happen after school yesterday?” Zayn said casually.

Harry shook his head, and lying through his teeth, he said, “No.”

He swore that he could see a flash of unease in Louis’ eyes, but it disappeared almost as quickly as it came. 

“Have a seat, Harry.” Liam offered, pulling one out for him. 

Harry sat down at the table, and the boys instantly jumped into a conversation.

__________

“Do it again, Nialler.” Harry laughed, definitely hyper.

Niall took a minute to calm down and keep a straight face, before repeating what he’d said a minute ago.

“Vas happenin?” He said, in a perfect impression of Zayn. 

The table roared with laughter. 

Even Zayn found it funny. 

Niall cracked up again.

Harry had to admit, the lad had an affinity for impressions. 

“So, Harry, I have to ask you again about our offer yesterday: do you want to join our little band?” Liam asked. “C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

Harry smiled at his friend, before grabbing his plate and walking over to the sink to place the dish inside. 

“I dunno.” He said, seeing his friends’ pleading faces.

“Oh, c’mon, Harry, you’re bloody brilliant! We could really use you.” Louis said. 

“Give me a little while longer to decide.” Harry said, masking the real reason he wasn’t giving an answer.

Of course he wasn’t going to say yes, he was only with them now because Brandon was going easy on him.

Speaking of, he checked the time. 

4:03

“I should probably get going,” He said. “Thanks for having me, Liam.”

“Wait.” He heard Louis say. 

He turned back around to see everyone had gone quiet, staring at Louis. 

“Yeah?” He asked. 

“Can you sit down for a minute? We want to talk to you about something.” Louis said.

Harry sat back down, heart racing a million faster than it had been a minute ago.

Louis went silent for a minute.

“We know those bruises aren’t from falling off your bicycle, Harry.” He said.

Harry felt his blood run cold. 

“What? No, you’ve got it wrong-” 

“For weeks. Weeks, Harry, for God’s sake, do you think we’re stupid?” Louis asked. 

Harry sat silently.

That was a bit harsh.

“No, but you aren’t hearing what I’m trying to tell you,” he started. 

“Because you’re trying to lie.” Zayn said. 

“Listen, Harry, we get that you’re scared, but we just want to help you.” Gigi said, resting her hand on her boyfriend’s. 

“What are you talking about?!” Harry said, voice cracking with terror. 

“It’s ok to admit if you’re being hurt at home.” Liam said. 

That’s it. 

That’s what they wanted to know. 

Harry was so tempted to just tell them everything, and get it off his chest, but he couldn’t, Brandon would find out, and he would he hurt, he would kill him-

“Harry?” Louis asked. 

“Listen!” He yelled. “I don’t know what it is about you?”

He got up from the table, walking over to the bar dramatically, and gripping the marble countertops with his hands.

“You have this, this weird hero complex, don’t you?” He yelled at them. “You’re so desperate to have someone to save, that you make up this fantasy in your minds that I’m getting- abused- at home?! Are you out of your minds?”

He turned around slowly, seeing their shocked faces. 

He felt his heart sink, realizing what he’d done. 

They’re not going to like him after this. 

They’re going to abandon him, forget him. 

“I thought you guys wanted to be my friends.” He cried, tearing up.

He turned suddenly, and bolted for the door, ignoring their cries of protest. 

He ran as quickly as he could down the street, tears streaming down his face.

He’d just blown it- not for him and Brandon, if anything he’d saved them, but with his friends.

Or former friends. 

He sobbed suddenly, stopping in the middle of the road. 

It had been so nice to have someone to talk to, who he wasn’t scared of.

It was so nice to know that he always had someone he could eat lunch with at school. 

It was just nice. 

Liam, Niall, Zayn, Gigi, Maya, Louis- oh, God, Louis.

He was going to miss him most of all. 

He was going to miss everything, even the corny jokes, and making fun of imaginary Emi, and-

He lost it. 

He was outside his house, right by the front door, when he just collapsed into a crying heap on the doorstep. 

It wasn’t fair.

He finally felt like he belonged somewhere. 

They didn’t tell him he was worthless, or a slut, they cared when he was hurt, they always waited for him, and complimented him, and he just destroyed all of that. 

He sat like that for a few minutes, on the cold concrete, crying his eyes out. 

After he’d cried all he could, or rather, all he had the energy to, he picked himself, rubbed his eyes, and opened the door.

Only to be greeted by an extremely pissed Brandon. 

He felt him before he saw him. 

He was slammed up against the door, and he felt pain all over, and heard a sickening crack.

He screamed from the sudden pain in his wrist. 

He felt like passing out. 

It hurt so much, he wanted it to stop. 

please stop please stop PLEASE STOP 

“Where. The. Fuck. Have. You. Been?” Brandon said in between punches to Harry’s face and chest. 

Harry tried to shield his face with his hands, but they were caught in the grasp of Brandon’s left hand, while his right was being used to deliver blows to any available part of Harry’s body. 

“I said, where have you been?” Brandon screamed in Harry’s ear, before letting him fall onto the floor. 

Harry landed on his sore wrist, and instantly groaned at the pain. 

It was definitely broken. 

“Answer me!” Brandon kicked him in the ribs. 

Harry cried out, gasping breaths and trying to answer.

“I was with friends!” He sobbed.

“Oh, so you think it’s alright for you to just walk out the bloody door whenever you fucking feel like it?” Brandon hissed. 

“You said I could go!” Harry cried. 

Brandon grabbed him by the collar of his jacket. 

“What did you say?” He hissed. 

Hary gulped. 

He could barely see out of one eye, only seeing red.

He could smell the alcohol on Brandon’s breath, a dangerous sign. 

“You said I could. Last night.” Harry whimpered. 

Brandon slapped him across the face.

“You’re going to regret that,” He said coldly, turning him around and ripping off his jacket. 

“Please, no,” Harry screamed as Brandon force him to bend over the table. 

Brandon slammed his head against the table, shutting Harry up. 

Harry quietly sobbed as he heard Brandon unbuckle his belt. 

A phone went off. 

Brandon grabbed it, keeping his hand wrapped around Harry’s throat. 

Harry lay there, still bent over the table, as he heard indistinct chatter between his boyfriend and the caller. 

A minute later, Brandon let go. 

“That was Xander.” He said, buckling his pants back up. “He says he wants me to do another run today. I’ll be back in a few hours to teach you a lesson, so don’t you think I’m letting you off the hook.”

He said nothing more, and slammed the door as he went out. 

Harry picked himself up, crying out as he did so.

He slowly walked over to the bathroom, and looked into the mirror. 

It was safe to say he looked like shit.

He’d never been beaten this badly before. 

Blood was dripping down his face from his nose, and from a gash above his left eye. 

His left eye was also blacked, and his lip was bust and bleeding. 

He didn’t look for long, crying at the sight. 

How did his life ever come to this?

He didn’t want this anymore. 

He wanted to go home. 

He wanted his mum, and Gemma.

There was one way to do that. 

A new sense of adrenaline filling him, he made his way to the door, and marched out of the house. 

As he made his way back down the road, he regretted leaving his jacket behind. 

Bracing himself against the cold winter air, he continued his walk, picking up his pace, gritting his teeth at the pain. 

He was grateful that it was dark, so nobody saw him and reported him to the police.

He turned the corner, and made his way up the steps of Liam’s huge house, knocking once, twice on the door. 

It was only a few seconds before the door was open. 

Eight, to be exact. He counted. 

It was Louis who opened. 

He heard the blue-eyed boy gasp in horror. 

Looking directly at him, he sobbed, “I need your help. Please?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is your day going?
> 
> What do you think is going to happen next?
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> All my love,
> 
> ~bluehairedbaby~


	14. Chapter Thirteen

“I need help,” Harry said, right before promptly passing out. 

Louis lunged forward to catch him, and he stumbled under the sudden weight. 

“Oh, God, Harry.” He whispered, seeing the state the other boy was in. 

Blood was running down Harry’s face, dripping onto his and Louis’ shirts. 

Louis tried to grab him under the arms and hoist him up, but he couldn’t, struggling to even get up off the threshold. 

“Liam!” He screamed. “I need your help!”

Suddenly, the noise coming from the kitchen became quiet. 

Liam came running over, looking very confused as to why Louis was sitting down in the middle of the open doorway. 

“What’s wrong, Tommo?” He asked, before seeing Harry collapsed in his arms. “Oh my God, what the fuck?”

“I don’t know what happened, he just passed out two seconds ago.” Louis said frantically.” 

Liam leaned down and wrapped his arms around the unconscious teengare, picking him up bridal style and carrying him into the kitchen. Louis followed close behind, closing the door. 

“Oh my God!” Maya screamed at the sight of her boyfriend carrying their friend into the room. “What happened to him?”

“We don’t know yet.” Liam said calmly, walking over to the couch in the living and setting Harry down gently. “Can you guys help me? I need a wet cloth.”

Instantly, everyone jumped up from the table to help, running about and trying to get what they needed. 

Gigi was the first to the sink, wetting a towel and handing it to Liam, who used it to gingerly wipe away the blood from Harry’s wounds. 

Niall and Zayn ran to grab the first aid kits, and Maya sat next to Liam, ready to grab anything he asked for. 

Only Louis stood still. 

He didn’t know what to do.

Fear paralyzed him in a way it never had before. 

He wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to unsee Harry, bloody and bruised, beautiful green eyes dim and only slightly open, collapse into his chest. 

Louis looked down at his hands, seeing the blood, seeing dried blood, which he wiped on his jeans by instinct. 

Liam stepped back from Harry for a minute. 

“His nose is still bleeding, but I think we’ll just hold that for a minute or two, and it’ll go away.” He said, voice shaking with nervousness. “He’s pretty cold, anyone have a blanket or anything.”

Louis was already one step ahead of him, taking off his jacket and draping it over the curly haired lad. 

With the exception of a few bad cuts and bruises, and his bleeding nose, Harry actually looked peaceful. 

It was obvious that he’d been crying before he got there. 

Nobody’s eyes were that red and puffy naturally. 

“What do we do now?” Maya asked, voice trembling. 

“I dunno, do we call the police?” Niall asked.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Zayn said. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Niall shot back at Zayn.

“It means that I don’t want to call the cops until we know for sure what the problem is.” Zayn said.

Everyone had turned toward the two boys at this point.

“Let’s just stay calm,” Liam said, quickly cut off by Niall, who screamed, “What are you talking about? Look at his fucking face! That’s a problem!”

“Shut it, Niall!” Zayn yelled back. 

Niall looked pissed at this point. 

“Oh, you’re such a little shit, aren’t ya?” He fumed, nostrils blaring and cheeks red. “Give me one good reason not to call the cops-”

“Please don’t.” A weak voice came from behind them. 

The whole group of friends whipped around at the same time, seeing Harry trying to sit up, his face scrunched up in pain.

“Harry!” Liam said, trying to help him lie back down. “You shouldn’t sit up, you look like shit-”

“No, please.” Harry interjected, taking a deep breath and sitting himself up on the couch. “It hurts to lie down.”

Liam glanced up at Louis, trying to see his reaction. 

Louis saw sympathy in his eyes for the boy- they’d never seen him hurt this badly. 

“Can you tell us what happened?” Liam asked, kneeling down in front of Harry. 

Harry didn’t bother to look up or say anything. 

He just kept his head down, curls brushing over his face. 

Liam beckoned for Maya to lean into him, and he whispered into her ear.

Moments later, she nodded, went into the kitchen, and returned, holding a bottle of water, which she handed to Harry. 

“Thanks.” Harry smiled weakly at Maya, before taking a sip from the bottle. 

It was deadly silent in the room. 

If someone dropped a pin, you would’ve heard it. 

Harry finally looked up at everyone. 

“I lied.” He said. “You were right. About everything.” He sobbed, choking on his words.

Louis instantly crouched down next to him and wrapped his arms around the younger boy. Harry buried his face in Louis’ shoulder, crying and gasping for air. 

“Shh,” Louis comforted him, gingerly rubbing his back. “It’s alright. Just breathe.”

When Harry finally took a few deep breaths and his words were finally audible, he said, “I’m sorry.”

“About what?” Zayn asked. “It’s not your fault that you need our help. Your brother is a monster.”

Harry shook his head. 

“He’s not my brother.” He said, cheeks flushed with shame. 

“Who is he then?” Louis asked, dreading the answer he felt coming.

“He’s my boyfriend.”

____________

“I grew up in Cheshire. My mom isn’t dead, she raised me and my sister, Gemma, just fine.” Harry cried.

Louis was sitting beside him. 

It had taken a while for everyone to recover from the bombshell he just dropped on them. 

The way Harry talked, the way his cheeks were red from guilt, the way his eyes shone with longing when he talked about his family all made Louis realize what Harry truly was: a kid.

Harry was just a kid who was forced to grow up way too young.

“I met Brandon when I was thirteen. He was a friend of one of Gemma’s friends, and we met at some party Gemma dragged me too. He was almost eighteen.” Harry continued.

“That night was my first kiss ever. I only just found out I was gay. I was so scared to tell anyone, and he told me to keep us a secret so my family wouldn’t find out. He promised me it would be fine.

“We dated for a while, but then he decided to go to college. We broke up, and he went off.” Harry said.

He shifted in his seat, and Louis sensed a turn in the story was coming up. 

“Four months later, he was back.” Harry paused, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “It was four years ago today. He was just standing in the middle of my house, and Gemma was hanging out with her friends, and my mum wasn’t home yet, and he told me we were leaving. I tried to say no, but he grabbed me, and he hit me, and made me get in his car.”

He went quiet for a minute. 

Everyone was staring at him in shock. 

They knew something was up with Harry, but never in a million years did they expect something this bad.

Maya was tearing up, out of fear and sorrow for Harry. 

Suddenly, Gigi got up and ran out of the room. 

Everyone stared at her as she left. 

Zayn got up awkwardly and chased after her. 

Liam turned to Harry, checking his cuts, and offering to get ice for his head. 

With nothing better to do, Louis went into the other room to try and see what was wrong with Gigi. 

As he approached the room, he heard sobs. 

“I didn’t think there was anything going on, Zayn, I thought everything was fine, but you guys were right, and I’m a horrible person.” Gigi cried. 

“Shh. No, you’re not. You did nothing wrong.” Zayn reassured her. 

Louis peaked around the corner to see Gigi bury her face in Zayn’s shoulder. 

The Bradford boy stroked her hair as she blubbered into his neck, whispering sweet nothings to her. 

Zayn looked up and saw Louis. 

He mouthed, ‘give us a minute.’

Louis nodded, turning back into the other room. 

Harry was still sitting on the couch, Liam and Maya checking to make sure he was feeling better. 

Niall came up to Louis. 

“Aren’t you gonna talk to him?” He asked. 

Louis sighed. 

“I don’t think so.” He said. 

Niall gestured in confusion. 

“Why not?” He asked Louis. 

“It’s not right, Niall. What we need to focus on now is keeping Harry safe.” Louis shot back, careful not to raise his voice. 

Niall looked at Louis, his face sending a whole mix of emotions.

Eventually, the Irish lad sighed and patted Louis on the shoulder.

“You’re right.” He said. “I’m sorry. I guess I just really wanted it to work out for you.”

“That’s fine.” Louis said, feeling a twinge of sadness at Niall’s phrasing. 

Of course he wasn’t going to tell Harry he liked him after that.

That would be, like, the biggest asshole move in history.

Eventually, Liam and Maya went off into another room to talk about God knows what, and Niall wandered off by himself, leaving Louis and Harry in the living all alone.

Louis awkwardly stood leaning against the wall, looking at Harry, who had yet to rise from the couch.

“Please stop staring.” Harry said quietly.

Louis looked down at his feet immediately, not even realizing what he was doing.

“Sorry.” He said.

“It’s fine.” Harry said, looking at him. “I’m just not used to it, I guess.”

“I’m sorry about everything Brandon did to you.” Louis said, coming over to sit down by Harry. “That wasn’t ok.”

Harry said nothing, trying to keep from crying again.

“He’s a monster.” He said after a minute or two. “I wish I’d seen that sooner.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, Haz.” Louis reassured him.

“But it’s all my fault!” Harry cried.

“Did he tell you that?” Louis asked.

Harry nodded, whimpering slightly.

“He lied.” Louis said. “Trust me, Harry, he lied to you. None of this is your fault.”

Harry nodded, rubbing his eyes and blinking to dash away the tears.

“Hey,” Louis said softly. “I won’t let him get you again. I promise.”

“Really?” Harry asked in a small voice.

“Absolutely.” Louis said.

A minute or two of awkward silence went by, before a thought occurred to Louis.

“Harry,” he began awkwardly, “did you ever, you know, with him?”

Harry looked at him.

“You mean sex?” He laughed dryly. “Yeah.”

“Did he ever do anything you didn’t want to?”

Harry went quiet.

After a moment or two, Louis realized he was literally shaking with terror.

“Hey, shh.” He tried to calm him down. “I didn’t mean to bring up anything.”

“I said no.” Harry sobbed. “Loads of times.”

Louis felt a stab of sorrow in his heart.

What would drive a grown man to hurt someone as innocent and angelic as Harry?

The world was messed up. 

“I’m so sorry, Haz.” Louis said, wanting to reach out a hand to comfort Harry. “Is it alright if I hug you?”

Harry nodded, practically diving into Louis’ outstretched arms. 

Louis rubbed Harry’s back as the boy cried into his shoulder.

He pressed a brief kiss to Harry’s curls, not trying to be romantic or suggestive, but just to comfort the lad.

He held Harry like that for what felt like hours, just rocking him back and forth, letting him cry what he needed to get out. 

He vowed with everything he had that one day, sooner or later, he would bring the monster who hurt Harry to justice.

This, he was certain of.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Brandon gripped the wheel tightly with his hands, knuckles split from lashing out at Harry.

He glanced behind him, making sure he wasn’t being followed as he pulled into the seemingly abandoned warehouse.

It was dark in their, but he knew that people were already there, slinking in the shadows, packaging and loading drugs into trucks, ready to take to their clients.

Brandon didn’t hate his job, he only lied about it to Harry.

The kid was so fucking naive, seriously believing Brandon when he said he was gonna quit.

Yeah, right.

Why didn’t Harry get that everything he owned, everything he was privileged enough to have, was paid for by Brandon’s job?

That kid would be the death of him.

“Brandon!” Xander called, suddenly stepping into the light coming from the headlights of Brandon’s truck.

Brandon left the car running, before he opened the door and stepped out.

“Ok, where am I heading tonight?” He asked, butting to the chase.

Xander made a clicking noise with his tongue.

“No small talk tonight, huh?” He chuckled sadistically. “Someone’s in a rush.”

“Exactly.” Brandon said. “So, where am I headed.”

Xander sighed, still grinning his empty smile, the one he always gave when he was promising something he wouldn’t keep, or when he was threatening you..

“Morrison’s.” He said.

“That’s out of town.” Brandon said.

The other man didn’t reply, instead cocking his head, as if to say, so?

Brandon sighed. 

“Fine. But I want sixty percent.” He said.

“So much?” Xander asked. “Nah, only once you’ve earned it, prettyboy.” 

It took everything within Brandon not to reach out and strangle the lean, lanky man in front of him.

“Then there’s no deal.” Brandon fumed. “I’m not going to risk my ass for some shit payment.”

Xander arched an eyebrow in surprise.

“Language.” He chided. “Fine, have it your way. Sixty percent. Let’s see if you’re smart enough to figure out how much that is.”

Brandon bit down on his tongue to keep from screaming out.

“Supply’s over here.” Xander motioned toward the side of the room.

He and Brandon walked over there, and got on the opposite sides of a large crate.

They wrapped their hands around the base, and lifted it up after the count of three.

Walking around to the back of Brandon’s truck, they placed it inside the back part of the vehicle.

Xander sighed and wiped a nonexistent bead of sweat from his brow.

Suddenly, they heard a shout.

Two, three shouts.

Then a siren. 

Then, all of a sudden, the air was filled with noise coming from all directions. 

Brandon and Xander shared one last look into each other’s eyes. 

After that night, Brandon would never see Xander face to face again, but for the first time, he thought he saw fear in the other man’s eyes. 

It was terrifying. 

Without breaking the state, Brandon started to bolt for the exit. 

He heard someone yell after him, probably Xander, but he didn’t care. 

All that mattered was getting out alive. 

Praying that he didn’t leave his ID in the truck, he kept running. 

He ran and he ran and he ran. 

When he was a safe distance from the warehouse, he hid behind a building, listening for any sign of what was to happen next. 

The sirens were still loud and clear, and he could also hear the police shouting, commanding everyone to exit the building and enter into without resistance. 

He glanced back there, and saw a man being forced into one of the police transports. 

Noting the over dramatic trench coat and dark clothes, he presumed it was Xander. 

Without another care about his buddies, so to speak, he ran home. 

Without a car, without his wallet, and without his phone. 

He seemed to always be running. 

He’d blown the last chance he had to stay put. 

Growing up, he was constantly running from whichever foster home he was put into. 

He had this pipe dream, that one day, a judge would let him go back to his mum, who he hadn’t seen since he was little. 

That dream was crushed when he was informed that his mother died from a heroin overdose. 

Funny, she would probably be amused at how her son had ended up an addict like her. 

Must run in the family. 

College was the one chance he had to set everything right. 

Until he found out that what he’d done- or who he’d done- could land him in jail for years. 

He never thought that Harry, sweet, baby-faced, innocent Harry, would be the cause of his relapse. 

That night at the party, he just wanted something to distract him from his impending move from Cheshire, and Harry seemed like a catch. 

So eager, as well. 

He didn’t think for a minute about how illegal it might’ve been. 

So, in order to keep anyone from ever finding out, he simply removed Harry from his current situation. 

Sure, he was upset at first, but Brandon managed to win him over with his smooth words and complements, fake as plastic. 

He actually managed to convince the kid he was in love with him. 

Whatever, if it worked, that was enough. 

So they continued like that, until now. 

Harry had grown up. 

He wasn’t going to be stupid forever. 

He had already started mouthing off at Brandon, so Brandon had to break him. 

Make him afraid of sharing their “little secret.”

Then, when he turned eighteen, which was coming up, Brandon would drop him off some place far outside of Doncaster. 

Harry would simply have to learn how to defend himself when that time came. 

But right now, Brandon didn’t want that. 

Harry needed to be punished, not defended. 

He got what was coming towards him. 

After all, Brandon knew he was the only person who would’ve wanted to call the police on him, conveniently after he’d threatened Harry. 

He wasn’t stupid, like some people. 

So that’s what was on Brandon’s mind when he opened up the door to their house. 

“Harry!” He yelled. 

The kitchen was empty. 

He smirked. 

Harry was probably waiting in the bedroom. 

Or hiding somewhere else. 

But he was never able to hide for long. 

“Harry! Answer me!” He yelled, expecting a response. 

Nothing came. 

He stormed into the bedroom. 

No Harry. 

That’s odd. 

He checked the bathroom, the outside, and under every nook and cranny in the tiny house. 

Nothing. 

Harry was simply gone. 

Brandon began to panic. 

Harry was hurt, and looked absolutely terrible the last time he saw him. 

There was no way that he couldn’t have gone unnoticed on the street. 

And even if he did, there was nowhere he could go without being asked. 

But where does an injured, hiding seventeen year old go?

Then it hit Brandon. 

His friends. 

Obviously. 

Seeing Harry’s jacket lying in the table where Brandon has thrown it, he picked it up and dig through the pockets. 

He found Harry’s phone, which he’d been looking for. 

Opening it up, he scrolled through his text messages, until he found one containing an address to Liam’s, whoever that was. 

Brandon sighed in rage, and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. 

These kids couldn’t know about what he’d done. 

And if they did, well, too bad for them. 

“I’m coming, Harry.” He threatened the empty night air. 

The boy wouldn’t know what hit him.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

Liam looked around at the scene in front of him. 

Niall stood by the table, talking to Maya. 

Gigi and Zayn were wrapped in each other’s arms, seated in one of the armchairs.

Louis was still comforting Harry.

And though it was unsaid, it was clear to all of them that they were staring right at the curly haired lad.

Harry didn’t seem to mind. 

He was leaning into Louis’ shoulder, his mop of curls falling over his tear stained face.

His nose had stopped bleeding a while ago. 

Louis reached over and gently brushed a curl out of Harry’s eyes.

If Liam didn’t know any better, he would’ve assumed the boys had a thing going on.

Which, they could.

In the future, he meant. 

He wouldn’t have advised Louis to make a move quite yet.

Without anything else to do, he turned and looked out the window. 

The night was dark, but the street was illuminated with lights from street lamps. 

It was almost beautiful. 

He wanted to take a picture, but he wasn’t sure if this was a night worth remembering.

He saw a figure moving from a long way away. 

Slowly, it started to become bigger and bigger as it moved closer to the house. 

He squinted, trying to focus on the person walking up the road. 

He jumped up in horror when he realized what it was.

Brandon. 

Harry’s tormentor, come to his house.

Liam tried to focus on his breathing as he blinked and tried to get a better look at the man. 

After a few moments, it became clear that it was definitely Brandon.

He’d only seen him once, but he always remembered a face when he saw it.

He swallowed hard.

“Um, guys, Brandon’s here.” He said, croaking.

He heard several gasps from behind. 

“Lemme see.” Harry whispered in terror, coming up from behind Liam. “Oh God. Oh no, no, no…”

“Harry, Harry, shh, you need to calm down,” Louis said, trying to hold Harry still.

“No!” Harry cried, barely speaking above a whisper. “He’s coming for me, he’s going to kill me, please…”

“Shh,” Louis said, pressing Harry’s head to his chest as he tried to comfort the crying boy. “I won’t let him do that. I promise.”

Liam continued to watch Brandon.

The man stepped into the driveway, pulled out a phone, and looked back up, then put the phone away.

“He’s coming to the door.” Liam said. 

Then, they heard three loud knocks at the door. 

Harry sobbed loudly into Louis’ chest.

“Maya, take Harry into the back!” Liam said sharply. 

His girlfriend nodded, taking Harry by the wrist and leading him into the back bedrooms. 

Liam looked around at the boys and Natalie.

He tried to say something, but when he opened his mouth, nothing came out.

They heard Brandon banging at the door again.

Liam gulped. 

“Ok, I’m going to try to get him to go away.” He said, trying to sound brave.

“I’ll call the police.” Gigi said, pulling out her phone. 

Liam nodded at her, then slowly walked towards the door, fearing the monster behind it. 

He wrapped a hand around the door handle, before reaching up to unlock the door. 

He opened it, hands trembling. 

“Hi,” he said, trying his best to sound casual. “You’re Harry’s brother, right?”

Brandon made a grunting noise. 

Honestly, Liam could see why people believed he and Harry were brothers. 

Brandon’s eyes were a kind of bluish grey, and his skin looked too pale to be alive. 

His brunette locks were shaved at the side, but left long and curly on top.

His arms were littered with tattoos, but Liam could clearly see that this guy was ripped.

“Cut the crap, kid.” Brandon said abruptly. “I’m here for Harry.”

Liam hesitated. 

“He went home already.” he lied. “Maybe he got lost?”

Brandon rolled his eyes.

“Do you think I’m dumb?” He asked.

Liam didn’t know how to answer that. 

Brandon groaned again, before pushing Liam to the side like a rag doll and forcing his way into the house.

Liam was petrified for a couple seconds, before he remembered Harry.

Summoning all his strength and courage, he lunged toward the bigger man. 

He grabbed him by the shoulders, and tried to pull him back.

Brandon reeled back in shock momentarily, but soon recovered and turned around, catching Liam in his hands. 

Liam didn’t really know what happened- one moment he was attacking Brandon with everything he had, the next, he was up against the wall, Brandon’s hands at his throat. 

He gasped for air as Brandon tightened his grip.

Suddenly, he was on the ground, breathing heavily. 

He looked up at Niall and Zayn who had managed to clamber on top of him and were repeatedly hitting him. 

Brandon shrugged them off with ease, clearly experienced in this area.

Suddenly, an object flew in sight, bouncing off Brandon’s chest and promptly shattering on the floor. 

Brandon looked down in distaste at what used to be a vase dear to Liam’s mum, and then looked up at whoever threw it.

Gigi only stared back in shock. 

As if in slow motion he started walking towards her.

She screamed. 

At once, Zayn was on him again, throwing him to the side and shielding his girlfriend.

Brandon stared blankly at both of them, before continuing his advance. 

Natalie ducked her head, prepared for anything.

Zayn took a stance, ready to swing a few punches. 

Brandon smiled at them.

They were so brave, yet so stupid. 

Didn’t they understand he could kill them if he wanted?

Suddenly, he heard a shout, almost like a war cry.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, whipping him the other way around, where he was met with a punch to the face.

Louis stared up at him fiercely.

“Why don’t you ever choose to face up to someone your own size?” He spat.

Brandon scoffed.

“And that’s supposed to be you?” He asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“Never said I was.” Louis said, ducking to avoid a punch. “Only commenting on your apparent inability to fight anyone above 5’4. So what’s the deal? Cat got your balls?”

Brandon let out a noise filled with rage. 

Louis smirked.

It was almost as if he waved a red flag in front of a bull.

He continued to avoid punches, ducking very so often, and walking back as the man kept advancing. 

“I mean, that bit’s obvious, right? Can’t find anyone to sleep with you, so you force yourself on anything with two legs, huh?” Louis taunted him.

Brandon let out a sigh of pure rage and frustration. 

Suddenly, he grabbed Louis by the shoulders and pushed him up against the wall. 

Louis said nothing, shocked and winded.

“Not so funny now, huh?” Brandon sneered. “Let’s see how you like it up close?”

With that, he brought his fist to Louis face.

Sheer pain shot through Louis’ nose, and he was pretty sure that was blood on Brandon’s knuckles.

He refused to cry out as Brandon continued to punch him in the nose, the chest and the gut, not letting him have the satisfaction.

Tears were streaming down his cheeks, and out of the corners of his eyes, he could see Niall, Zayn, Liam, Gigi and even Maya try to force the bigger man off, to no avail.

How could Harry go through this and act like it was nothing?

He felt light-headed. 

Good. Maybe the pain would end up knocking him out. 

“Stop!” A voice rang out through the room. 

Brandon stopped what he was doing, giving his undivided attention to Harry, who was standing in the doorway to the hall. 

Louis weakly tried to force himself in front of Brandon, to be used as a human shield, but Brandon tossed him to the side like nothing, and he felt his face collided with the floor. 

He watched uselessly as Brandon pushed Harry into the room directly behind him. 

He knew, even as he heard the soft click of the lock, and Harry’s helpless screams, that he had failed him.

He failed Harry.

He failed his promise.

But he would be damned if he didn’t do anything about it. 

Using all of his strength, he pushed himself onto his knees, before he got up and stumbled over to the door, where the others were, trying to break it open.

He couldn’t quite make sense of the words he was screaming, but he was making to throw in ‘fuck’ a few times.

“Stand back,” Liam said, and they obliged. 

He took a few steps backwards, before running as hard as he could into the door. 

He cried out in pain as his shoulder made contact with the door.

Maya screamed and tried to stop him, but he shook his head and grit his teeth, repeating the action over and over again. 

After they didn’t hear Harry scream anymore, Louis joined in.

Suddenly, Louis was aware that there were several police officers around them.

Gigi cried in relief, and immediately told them what was going on in the other room. 

One of the officers broke down the door in the way Liam had hoped to, and all the kids got a glimpse of Brandon standing over Harry’s still form, beating him relentlessly with his fists. 

Once he caught sight of them, he tried to escape, but backed up into a corner. 

Two of the officers grabbed him and cuffed him, and he cursed at them, before biting his tongue, shooting dirty glares at the teenagers as he was led away. 

Louis had already made his way over to Harry, picking him up and cradling him in his arms.

“I’m so sorry,” he sobbed over and over. 

Eventually, some of the paramedics came over and told him that they were going to take Harry in and do a few check ups on him. 

He watched as they lifted him onto a stretcher, and carried him outside, before placing him carefully inside the ambulance. 

When they offered for one of the kids to ride along with them, the answer was already unanimous.

Louis.

It only made sense.

So Louis waited, riding in the back of a bumpy ambulance, for anything else to suddenly make sense. 

He waited for his friends to show up in the waiting room after they took Harry in for surgery. 

And now, they all waited for good news, trying to dispel any false senses of hope. 

Better to be surprised than let down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've had a crazy weekend. 
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter.
> 
> Do you think we've seen the last of Brandon? 
> 
> What do you think will happen next with Harry? And how will it affect Louis?
> 
> Please leave your thoughts in the comments if you have any!
> 
> Thanks for reading. As usual, all the love,
> 
> ~bluehairedbaby~


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Louis sat quietly on the chair in the waiting, trying not to fall off it’s slippery plastic surface. 

Zayn sat to his left, Niall sat to his right. 

He was holding up an ice pack to his face, which had slowly begun to numb. 

He couldn’t comprehend that Harry was ever able to go through that- or, sometimes, things worse than that- and pretend like he was fine. 

He fucking hurt. 

He was sure that his chest was littered with bruises, and he’d gotten a look in the mirror when he’d gone to the bathroom.

His eye was blackened, his lip had burst, and blood was smeared around a cut on his right cheekbone. 

One of the nurses insisted that she let her treat him, and he obliged.

She’d help clean him up, as well as putting a cool gel on his cuts. 

She asked him if his mum was around to sign some paperwork for his injuries, which prompted him to realize that his mother had no idea where he was. 

He reminded everyone else of this, and they all began to phone their parents, who were shocked to hear that they were at the hospital.

Johannah was the first to arrive. 

Over the phone, she heard nothing more than where her son was- she was already heading out the door, having instructed Lottie to watch the little ones. 

Louis heard a loud gasp. 

Looking up, he saw his mum running over to him. 

Her long brown hair was pulled up into a messy bun, and her eyes were filled with concern as she knelt in front of her son, checking him all over, looking for any injuries she’d missed on a first glance.

“My baby,” she sighed, reaching out to touch his cheek.“Look at your face! What the hell happened?”

Louis swallowed, exhaling hard. 

“Mum, do you remember Harry?” He asked slowly.

She nodded.

“He’s a sweet lad,” she murmured.

Louis pursed his lips, trying to keep the tears that were prickling the backs of his eyes from spilling out. 

“Well, this bloke was manipulating him, and made him date him and shit, and he was hitting him,” he choked out. “And Harry was hurting- a lot, Mum- and this guy was older. Harry, he came to us for help, and this guy- Brandon- he came and beat the shit out of us and Harry. And I even promised him, Mum, I promised him I wouldn’t let anyone hurt him again and I broke my promise.”

With that, Louis blinked, dispelling tears from his eyes. 

Johannah wrapped her arms around him, catching him in an embrace full of comfort. 

She rubbed his back in small circles, trying to calm him down. 

“It’s alright, baby, you didn’t mean to.” She whispered. 

She was horrified. 

It boggled her mind how any grown man would stoop as low as manipulating a child. 

The very thought made her want to throw up. 

Stepping back, she looked at the other kids, noticing similar patterns of bruises like the ones on her son.

“Where’s Liam and Maya?” She asked, noticing the couple’s absence. 

“Liam tried to break down a door.” Zayn said. “He dislocated his shoulder, and he went to get it fixed. Maya’s with him.”

Johannah nodded, eyes wide with shock. 

These poor kids….

“Your mums are on their way.” She told them, ending the brief conversation with that. 

She took a seat next to Niall, waiting for the sake of Harry.

She didn’t know him well, but she’d seen him around a lot, and he’d come to her house, and Louis talked about him, like, all the time. 

She looked up suddenly as she realized something. 

Looking intently at Louis, she tried to see if there were any signs that there had been the last time this happened- but she couldn’t see any under his forlorn state. 

She sighed, sitting back in her chair. 

Oh, well. 

If her son had a crush on this boy, she would hear about it sooner or later. 

A nurse came walking out of the hallway, holding a clipboard. 

She looked around for a minute, before spying them and making her way towards them. 

Johannah leaned over and tapped Louis’ shoulder, pointing out the nurse to him.

Louis immediately stood up, but didn’t walk towards her, just stood there awkwardly. 

The nurse reached them and looked around at them.

She looked young, but not terribly young, probably only in her twenties. 

Her long, dark hair was pulled back into a low bun, exposing her prominent cheekbones.

“Hello?” She asked in a light voice. “Are you friends of Harry?”

“That’s us, yeah.” Louis said, not breathing. 

The nurse smiled. 

“I’m Aisha Singh. I’m going to be taking care of Harry for a while,” She said, holding out a hand, which Louis shook. 

She turned to Johannah.

“Are you Harry’s mother?” She asked politely.

Johannah almost choked on absolutely nothing.

“Sorry, no. This one’s mine.” She answered, pointing to Louis.

Aisha nodded, biting her lip.

“Is his family available? It’s unusual to give a patient’s information to someone unrelated, unless in special circumstances-”

“Harry was kidnapped.” Louis blurted out. “By his boyfriend.”

Aisha look quite startled at this news, but carried on.

“Well, then, given the situation, I’d say you’re safe.” She looked down at her clipboard. “Harry’s currently under a medically induced coma from the painkillers we gave him. He should wake up soon, however. His left wrist was fractured, and we have put it in a splint, and he has a concussion. A couple of his ribs were cracked, but he should be fine as long as he lies down for a while and doesn’t do any sports.”

She paused, taking a breath before reading the next bit.

“There is anal scarring, which is a sign of forced penetration. Until he wakes up, we won’t know for sure.”

Johannah gasped softly, a tear slipping down her cheek. 

How could someone do that to such a sweet boy?

“With all of these injuries, we will be wanted Harry to stay in the hospital for a little while, but he should be discharged after a week, maybe more. He is underweight, and we want to perform an eating disorder examination to make sure his dieting habits are healthy. We will also recommend a therapist who specializes in traumatic situations like his.” Aisha finished. 

Louis nodded at her words.

Harry would be fine. 

He felt relieved, everything would be fine at last. 

“Might I advise you on one more thing?” Aisha asked. “It would best to find Harry;s family sooner than later.”

“Why?” Johannah asked.

“Well, to start, he’ll need support from next-of-kin.” Aisha said. “Other than that, someone will need to sign his paperwork and pay his bill, considering he is a minor.”

“That’s ok,” Louis said. “We'll just search up ‘Harry Phillips missing’ on Google or something.”

Aisha nervously bit her lip.

“That’s the thing. Louis, wasn’t it?” She sighed, hating to crush the teenager’s spirit. “The results that came back for Harry didn’t match with any file titled ‘Harry Phillips.’”

Louis felt his heart drop.

“I’m no expert, but I would probably say he’s given a fake name.” Aisha said. “I’m sorry.”

With that, she walked off.

Niall and Zayn turned to Louis. 

“What are we going to do now?” Niall asked him.

Louis shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he said.

He’d already broken a promise to Harry. 

If, in some way, finding his family was going to right his wrongs, then so be it. 

He was just scared he wouldn’t be able to.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

“So, where does he sound like he’s from?” 

Louis was sitting in the living room of Maya’s house with all the other teenagers.

After Aisha’s suggestion the night before, they’d taken her words to heart. 

After all, they wanted to be his friend.

And friends would do anything to help each other. 

So, if that meant spending hours tracking down Harry’s family, so be it. 

Ok, that may have been an exaggeration. 

They’d been cramped in front of a computer for five minutes and Googling different combinations of ‘missing,’ ‘Harry,’ and ‘thirteen years old.’

So far, they’d been unsuccessful. 

They’d added in a few more words, such as ‘2007’ or the names of various cities, with the same results. 

Which prompted the question: “where does he sound like he’s from?”

Niall had asked it. 

When he originally said it, it seemed stupid, but the more they thought about it, the more it made sense.

Find out what his accent was, find out where he’s from, narrow the search.

Sounds easy.

“Definitely not Doncaster.” Louis said. “Too posh for London. Bradford?”

Zayn shook his head. “I would’ve recognized it.” He said. “I grew up there, after all.”

“Could he be from Manchester?” Niall asked. 

Louis snapped his fingers together.

“You’re on to something, Nialler.” He said. “Maybe not Manchester, though.”

“Try Cheshire.” Niall said. 

Louis stared in awe.

Sure, Niall was good at impressions and accents, but he didn’t actually realize how spot on his Irish friend was.

Turning, he added ‘Cheshire’ to the search bar.

An article popped up.

“Let’s try this,” Louis said, clicking on the link. “‘Holmes Chapel teenager goes missing.’  
“Last Tuesday, thirteen year old Harry Styles was reported missing after his mother, Anne Cox, came home to find him gone.”

“I’ve heard that name before,” Gigi said suddenly. 

Everyone turned to her.

“How?” Niall asked. 

“My aunt lives in Holmes Chapel.” She explained. “She said the whole town was talking about it.”

Louis nodded at her, before turning back to the article displayed on the screen of Maya’s laptop.

“Harry attends Holmes Chapel Comprehensive School, and was expected to be at home when his mother arrived. Instead, Anne returned to their house to find the door wide open.” He continued, gasping slightly as he read. “‘It was terrifying.’ Anne said, holding back tears. ‘I come home, and the door’s flung open, and his books are on the table, and his phone was already dialing 999. I just didn’t know what to do. I screamed, and I asked all the neighbors if they’d seen him. None of them did.’”

“Poor Harry,” Liam said. 

His mouth was slightly agape with shock.

This was the kind of stuff people read about, not stuff that should happen in real life.

“There’s more,” Louis said.“Harry’s older sister, Gemma also gave her word on the situation. ‘I don’t know why he’s gone. I wish I knew. I dropped him off at school that morning, and I think I told him something stupid, I don’t know. I don’t understand why he’s gone. He’s a good kid. He’s got good grades. And then he’s just gone, without a trace.’  
“After reaching out to neighbors, Anne and Gemma reported him missing to the police. Afterwards, they contacted the local media to spread the word, in hopes that it would somehow increase chances of finding him faster.  
“The whole city of Holmes Chapel has rallied together in support for Harry’s family, and praying for his safe return.  
“‘In case he ends up reading this, I just want him to know that we love him, so, so much.’ Gemma said. ‘I want him to be safe, and to find him before Christmas. I don’t want him hurt. Please come home, Harry.’”

Louis cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the lump that had hardened there. 

“This was written in 2007.” He said, dragging the words for emphasis. 

He looked back at his friends, seeing their shocked faces. 

They honestly couldn’t believe it. 

Harry was the sweetest, kindest, most caring person they’d met…. why would the world be so cruel to him?

It’s not fair. Louis thought bitterly. 

Maya reached up to rub her eyes, where tears had started to pool in the corners. 

“Does it say anything else?” She asked, voice shaking. 

Louis turned back, scanning the bottom of the article. 

“T-there’s a number.” He said, stuttering slightly. “Says that it’s his mum’s.” 

He licked his lips, trying to soothe the dry and cracked skin.

He was in desperate need of chapstick, but he had other things on his mind. 

“So, which one of us is going to call?” He asked nervously. 

He saw his friends glance around at each other. 

To be honest, none of them really wanted to do it. 

Not that they didn’t want to help Harry, but it was extremely heavy news to break to someone they didn’t even know. 

Niall bit his lip, before looking up to meet Louis in the eyes. 

“Honestly, Tommo,” He started, “you might be our best bet.”

Louis nodded slowly, tapping his fingers nervously against his jean clad legs.

He knew that it was the right thing to do.

That didn’t mean it was easy. 

And that’s exactly what he told his mum the next morning as they were both leaning against the countertop, holding their mugs of tea.

He made sure to put extra emphasis on how it wasn’t easy. 

Johannah pursed her lips together, stirring her tea with a spoon.

Louis waited anxiously for her answer. 

“So, have you called them yet?” She asked, knowing that was the one part of the story she should’ve heard already. 

Louis sheepishly bowed his head.

She made a clicking noise with her tongue, setting her mug down on the counter as hard as she could without breaking it. 

“Louis!” She scolded sharply. 

“I know.” He said.

“You have to call them!” She said, snapping her fingers, beckoning for him to meet her gaze. 

He brought his eyes up to meet hers, biting his lip out of shame and nervousness. 

“Listen, Lou.” She said, placing a hand on his. “His mum hasn’t seen him in four years. Think about how worried and heart broken she must be.”

He nodded, and she continued.

“Lou- he’s your age. If you ever-” She broke off sudden;y, reaching up to wipe her sudden tears away. 

“Mum.” He said, reaching out for her. 

She shook her head, continuing through her tears. 

“I don’t know what I’d do if that ever happened to you.” She cried. “But I know, I know that if there was a chance anyone had heard about you, I would want to know.”

She leaned forward, grasping Louis’ hands. 

“So, take my word, as a mother,” she said. “Harry’s mum wants to know. So, why don’t you pull up that article, and call her?”

Louis nodded, looking up at her. 

Her eyes were glossed over, and tears were pooling at the corners, and the area around was tinged pink, but she was smiling.

She looked him up and down, before pulling him into a hug. 

“I love you.” She said, kissing the top of his head. 

“I love you, too, Mum.” He said. 

She pulled away, wiping her eyes. 

“Well,” She said. “I should probably go check on the twins.” 

She pressed one more kiss to his forehead before walking off. 

Louis watched her walk off, before pulling out his phone and looking up the article. 

He stared at the number at the bottom of the page, briefly having second thoughts.

He shook his head, trying to dispel any doubts. 

Harry’s family deserved to know.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

Gemma woke up in a cold sweat. 

Sitting up suddenly, she gasped for air, clutching around at the blankets that protected her from the cold December night. 

It took a few moments for her to calm down. 

She clasped a hand to her chest, the initial fear she’d woken up with dissipating.

She looked around her room, trying to spot things that were familiar to her.

She was in her bed. 

Her polaroid pictures of her friends were on the walls beside her. 

The walls were still that pale green they’d always been, ever since she was little. 

Her notebook sat on top of her desk, along with her favorite pens. 

Her bookshelves were still filled with her favorites, which mostly consisted of Jane Austin and the Bronte sisters. 

She was nineteen, not fifteen. 

Her therapist had told her that the nightmares were only going to get worse with time. 

She’d told her that there would forever be a Harry-shaped hole in her heart, but the wound would heal with time, and soon, the tenderness would fade away. 

Gemma had been sixteen when she was told this. 

So why hadn’t it felt any better?

It seemed like she would never catch a break at this point. 

Sighing, she pulled the covers off of her, ignoring the chill that spread throughout her senses. 

She picked up her robe from the chair she’d thrown it on the previous night, and took a hair tie from one of the pockets.

Leaning over, she caught all of her long hair between her fingers, and twisted it into a bun, before securing it with the hair tie. 

She opened the door to her room and walked out into the dark hallway. 

Passing her mother’s bedroom door, she heard soft snoring coming from within. 

She paused, standing barely more than an inch from the door, listening to her mother’s soft breathing. 

She raised her fist, briefly considering knocking, but decided against it, letting her hand fall back by her side. 

Gemma walked away from the door, turning the corner and walking down the stairs. 

She strolled into the kitchen, and headed straight to the cupboards. 

Grabbing a couple mugs, she set them down on the counter, before heading over to the corner, where the kettle sat, plugged into an outlet on the wall. 

Just because her mother was asleep didn’t mean she couldn’t do something as simple as making her tea as a kind gesture. 

She hummed to herself as she bustled around the kitchen, producing a box of Earl Gray tea from one of the shelves, and pulling out the little tea bags, placing one into each of the three mugs. 

Wait. 

That was wrong. 

She internally groaned when she realized her mistake. 

She set the box of tea down and picked up the third mug, smiling fondly at it before returning to its rightful place on the shelf next to the other ones, colorful and bright.

She turned back around once she heard the beep coming from the kettle, signaling that the water was done boiling. 

She walked over a gripped the handle of the kettle, and went back over to where the two mugs sat on the kitchen counter. 

She poured the hot water into both of them, about three quarters full in each. 

After a few minutes of letting the tea steep, she removed the bags and tossed them in the trash. 

She picked up the blue mug, sipping quietly at the hot beverage. 

It burnt the tip of her tongue and she hissed at the sudden pain, moving the cup away from her mouth. 

She set her tea down and grabbed a loaf of bread from the shelves, popping a slice into the toaster. 

She grabbed her mug again and sat down at the table, sinking into her seat. 

As she sat sipping carefully at her tea, she could hear the familiar creaking sound of the stairs. 

She smiled at her mother as she came into the kitchen, wearing a similar rober, except Anne’s was longer and red, whereas Gemma’s only came down to her knees and was a light blue, the same found on robin’s eggs. 

“Hey,” She said softly as Anne walked to the counter and picked up her blue mug. 

“Hey,” her mum answered. “How are you?”

Gemma shifted slightly in her seat, but didn’t stop smiling. 

“I’m pretty good.” She said. 

Anne nodded and walked over to the table, sitting in the chair across from Gemma. 

“That’s good.” Anne said, bringing the mug to her lips. 

Gemma watched her mum as she tentatively took a sip of her tea. 

“Thanks for the tea.” Anne said, setting the mug back down on the table.

“You’re welcome.” Gemma answered, taking a sip from her own mug.

“What day is it?” Anne asked, brows furrowed in concentration.

“The third.” Gemma answered, barely skipping a beat.

“That’s right.” Anne sighed, gazing past Gemma’s head and out the window. “That long already?”

Gemma nodded, knowing exactly what her mother was talking about. 

“Well,” Anne said abruptly, setting her hands dowd on the table, palms flat and fingers outstretched, showing off her silver ring. “I was thinking maybe today would be the day to put up the Christmas decorations.”

Gemma nodded, smiling. 

“That’s a good idea, Mum.” She said. “Do you want to do it now, or later?

“Maybe later.” Anne said. “I still haven’t decided on one thing.”

“And what’s that?” Gemma asked. 

Anne dropped her eyes and focused on her fingers, thumbs fidgeting. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t put up his stocking this year.” She mused. 

Gemma nodded slowly, taking in the words. 

They stung like a slap to the face, or a stab in the chest. 

But she knew the suggestion had logic to it, despite hurting like hell. 

“Yeah. Whatever you want, Mum.” She said, not meeting Anne’s eyes, not wanting her mother to see the pain in her own. 

Anne reached out a hand to cover Gemma’s ice cold fists, clenched so tightly that she was certain her fingernails would leave marks, little crescent moon shaped scars in the center of her palms. 

“Oh, Baby,” She sighed, “it’s fine if you don’t want to.”

Gemma shook her head.

“No, Mum, I’m fine. Trust me.” She said. 

Anne stared at her for a minute, eyes filled to the brim with empathy.

A beeping noise rang through the silence.

“That’s my toast.” Gemma said, rising from her chair and making her way over to the machine.

Anne got up and placed her empty mug in the sink. 

“Well, I’m going to get dressed,” she said, excusing herself.

Gemma placed her toast on a plate, and sat back down, but she didn’t feel like eating anymore. 

A few minutes later, Anne came back downstairs, fully clothed, hair and makeup done perfectly.

“I’ve got to go and pick up a few things from the shops,” She announced. 

“Ok,” Gemma said, picking up her dishes, including the plate that held the barely touched slice of toast, which had gone cold quite a while ago.

“Make sure to water the flowers,” Anne said, walking out the door.

Gemma nodded, although nobody could see her. 

She went upstairs to her room and changed out of her robe and pajamas, changing into comfy jeans and a knit sweater. 

She brushed through her hair and left it down, not bothering to put it up. 

She walked over to the window, where the flowerpot resided, where it got plenty of light every day. 

Inside of it was the tiny rosebush, complete with delicate white blossoms, the same one that Harry had brought home from school when he was twelve. 

He’d grinned so much when he’d first gotten it, and watered it every day, and although Anne had never intended to keep it forever before, now it was her and Gemma who worked so hard to keep the little bush alive, not wanting to disgrace his memory in that way. 

Gemma smiled at the little blossoms, and the even tinier buds that were hidden beneath them. 

She wanted to touch them and stroke their petals, but she didn’t, for fear of damaging them. 

Instead, she admired from a distance, making sure to supply them with enough water, pouring it out at the roots.

It was just enough to keep them healthy, but not enough to drown the plant. 

After her job was done, she went and placed the cup she’d used to water the roses in the sink. 

Then, she went and sat in her chair, resuming the book she’d been reading the night before, Great Expectations. 

A few minutes into her reading, she felt her phone buzzing in her back pocket. 

She put her bookmark between the pages, closed the book and set it down on the side table. 

She fished her phone out of her pocket and held it up to her ear. 

“Hello?” She asked. 

“Is this Anne Cox?” A boy’s voice asked. 

“No, this is her daughter, Gemma. She gave me her old phone. If you want, I can give you her number.” She responded. 

“No, it’s fine, you’ll do.” The boy said. 

Gemma was confused. 

She’ll do what, exactly?

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She said, wondering if this was a prank call or something. 

“Please don’t hang up.” The boy said, a tone of urgency in his voice. 

Honest to God, Gemma hadn’t considered it until he’d said that.

“Well, you still haven’t told me why you’re calling, so I might if you don’t tell me soon,” Gemma said, annoyed. 

“I know where Harry is.” The boy said suddenly. 

Gemma was pretty sure her heart stopped. 

“What?” She whispered, barely able to speak above that.

“We- my friends and I- we found him.” He said. 

“Are you sure?” She asked. “Who are you?”

“My name’s Louis Tomlinson, and yes, definitely, it’s one hundred percent Harry.” Louis said. 

“Wow.” Gemma said, feeling tears prickling the backs of her eyes. “Where is he now? Can I talk to him?”

She didn’t hear anything, prompting her to add, “Please?”

She heard Louis sigh.

“Look, I don’t really know how to say this… Harry’s in the hospital.” He said hesitantly. 

Gemma gasped, clasping a hand to her mouth. 

She was fearing the worst, an unsettling feeling rising in her stomach. 

“What happened?” She croaked out. 

“Well, he was kidnapped.” Louis said. 

“Yeah,” Gemma said, nodding. 

She’d figured as much; there was no reason for him to voluntarily run from home. 

“Well, the guy who took him was, um, his ex.” He said.

Gemma sucked a breath in. 

Up until now, closure had been all she’d wanted, but now that she was getting the answers, she was horrified.

“Ok,” she said shakily. “Go on.”

“He was older.” Louis said. “He was like, eighteen or nineteen when he took him.”

Gemma let out a strangled, choking sound, somewhere between a gasp and a sob. 

“No,” She cried, eyes full of tears. One slipped out and rolled down her cheek. 

“He, um, he hurt Harry. A lot. He beat him, and he raped him.” Louis said. 

Gemma nodded, wanting to collapse. 

All of a sudden, she felt really sick. 

She was scared she would collapse, or vomit, or some odd combination of the two. 

“Anything else?” She asked. 

“Well, I met Harry a few months ago, because he started going to my school, and, um, we became friends.” Louis said. “My friends and I started noticing bruises and stuff on him, and we were wondering if he was hurting at home. On Saturday, we were hanging out, and he came to us, and he was beaten up, and he told us everything. Then, his boyfriend, or, um, Brandon, the bloke who took him, he found out that Harry was hiding with us, and he came over and beat the shit out of us. The police came, and Brandon was arrested, but Harry was knocked out. He’s in the hospital right now, because he broke his wrist, and he has a concussion, and the doctor’s have put him on lots of pain medication. They say he should wake up soon.”

Louis finished his story with a sigh. 

Gemma went silent, holding her hand over her mouth as she cried silently. 

The tears streamed down her face and over her fingers. 

“Ok,” Gemma said. “Will he be alright?”

“Yes.” Louis said, voice full of sincerity. 

“Can we come see him?” Gemma cried. 

“That’s why I called.” Louis said.

“I’ll tell my mum.” Gemma said. “What hospital is it?”

“Doncaster Royal Infirmary.” Louis answered. 

“Doncaster, wow.” Gemma said, marveling in horror at how close her baby brother was. “Thank you so much, Louis.”

“Don’t thank me. It was the right thing to do.” Louis said. 

Gemma didn’t say anything more. 

Instead, she hung up and buried her face in her hands, releasing ugly, wretched sobs. 

Her brother was found. 

Someone found her brother. 

After four years, she would finally get to see him again.

She cried so loudly, she didn’t hear the car pulling up, or even Anne opening the door. 

“Gemma!” Anne had cried, rushing over to where her daughter was huddled on the floor. “What happened?”

Gemma choked out a few more hysterical sobs. 

“Breathe, baby, breathe.” Anne said, rubbing her back. 

Gemma inhaled deeply, trying to get enough air in her lungs. 

“That’s it,” Anne comforted her daughter. “ Now, tell me, what’s wrong?”

Gemma looked at her mum, bursting into tears and leaning into her shoulder. 

Anne wrapped her arms around her daughter, still as confused as ever. 

“Oh, baby.” She soothed Gemma, rubbing her back and pushing her hair out of her teary eyes. 

“Mum,” Gemma cried. “They found him. They found Harry, Mum.”

Ane froze. 

“Are you serious?” She said, tearing up as well. 

Gemma smiled and cried. 

“Yes!” She sobbed.

Through her tears, she recounted what Louis had told her.

Anne shed plenty of tears, and gasped after hearing what Brandon had done to Harry. 

“That wicked man,” She cried angrily. 

Gemma asked if they could go to Doncaster. 

“Of course.” Anne said. “We’ll go tomorrow.”

Gemma nodded, crying and laughing, not out of humor, but out of overflowing joy. 

She couldn’t believe it. 

For the first time in a long time, she felt strong. 

She’d been so afraid for so long that she would never get to see her little brother again, and now that fear was relieved. 

Anne and Gemma sat like that for a while.

Huddled on the floor, forgetting the front door, which was still wide open, left the winter breeze drift inside. 

“Guess you don’t have to worry about that stocking.” Gemma said. 

Both women chuckled. 

“It’s a Christmas miracle.” Anne said. 

“It really is.” Gemma said.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

Despite technically having school today, Louis begged his mum to let him off. Jay had shaken her head multiple times, but after taking in the bruises on his face and his desperation to protect his friend, she relented. So now Louis sat in a plastic chair beside Harry’s hospital bed, tapping his foot on the ground with every passing moment Harry lay asleep. 

The doctors had put him on drugs that would keep him asleep for a while, so he could rest. They’d said otherwise, the trauma would keep him up, and in order to heal, he needed sleep. Louis hated to see Harry like this. 

His face was even more battered up than Louis’, a gash over his lip and a blackened eye and little cuts all over his cheeks. Yet somehow, he seemed peaceful? It didn’t make much sense to Louis. 

Harry looked cute when he was sleeping, if you could ignore the injuries for a few minutes. His chest rose slightly with each breath, and he softly snored due to the mucus in his lungs, which had alarmed the nurses, but they were relieved to discover the cause was simply seasonal allergies. 

Louis was tempted to reach over and brush his unruly chocolate curls out of his eyes, but what would be the point if he couldn’t see the beautiful emerald orbs beneath?

And just like that, Louis was lost again. 

Yes, Louis loved him. Harry was his friend first and foremost. But he also believed there would always be a part of him that longed to be more with Harry. Not that he was about to do anything about it. 

Brandon was a fucking monster. He’d beaten him and violated him. Louis shuddered with terror at the very thought of Harry in that position again. And Harry thought that was love. 

Even if they did get together, Louis would hate himself if it ever seemed like he was hurting Harry. And the only way to make sure he never hurt Harry was by staying the hell away. As much as it hurt. 

Suddenly, Louis heard a knock at the door. Looking around, he saw Aisha, the kind-hearted nurse. He smiled at the sight. “Hello,” he said. 

“Hi, Louis.” She said. He’d hung out in Harry's room long enough for her to remember his first name. “I’m just stopping by to check his vitals, ok?” 

He nodded as she walked around the side of Harry bed to check his IV and glance over the monitors. She whispered some things to herself, writing her notes down on her clipboard. 

“Do you know when he’ll wake up?” Louis asked. Aisha turned to him. “It’s hard to tell.” She said. “The propofol we gave should wear out soon, we only gave him a small dosage. Just enough for healing to begin.”

Louis nodded. His fingers tapped against the railing of his chair. He felt oddly nervous. 

“Don’t worry, I'm sure your boyfriend will be up soon.” Aisha teased. 

“Oh, he’s not my boyfriend.” Louis said, laughing nervously. Unfortunately. 

“Yet.” Aisha said slyly. Louis shook his head. “He was in an abusive relationship. I don’t want to mess him up more.” He said. 

Aisha looked at him, a softened expression on her face. “Don’t worry about it. You’re doing your best.” She said. “Your support is doing more than you think.” 

With that, she smiled at him and left the room. Louis sighed, but was more relaxed than he’d felt in the past few days. He looked back at Harry.

The boy’s face had gone from peaceful to scared, eyebrows furrowed in a look of terror. Instantly, Louis was up on his feet, by Harry’s side. He held the other boy’s hand, stroking it and hoping that relieved whatever nightmare Harry was having. 

His green eyes shot open. Looking around in confusion, he tried to get up, struggling against Louis. “Haz, you’ve got to lie down.” Louis cried, trying to help Harry lie back onto his pillow. 

Harry shook his head. “He’s going to kill me, i’ve got to go home, he’s going to be mad…”

Louis put his hands on Harry’s shoulders, making the boy look into his eyes. “Harry, Brandon’s gone.” Harry froze. “What?” He asked timidly, eyes full of fear. 

“He’s gone. In jail. He’s going to be there a long time.” Louis said slowly, making sure to enunciate every word. Harry exhaled shakily. “Do you promise?” He asked, green eyes brimmed with tears.

Louis nodded, pulling Harry in for a hug. The younger boy shook against him, crying with joy. 

“I’m going to get the nurse.” Louis said. “Wait!” Harry cried. “Don’t leave me.” Louis turned back to look at him. “I’m not going anywhere, love. Just outside the room to get Aisha. You’ll like her; she’s nice.”

Harry nodded with hesitation, and Louis ran out of the room, trying to find the nurse as fast as he could. 

\---

Harry lay back against the pillows, which had been propped up so he could sit up more properly. “How long was I out?” He asked Louis, who was sitting beside him again, his chair pulled even closer up. “About a day.” Louis said. “Not very long.”

Harry sighed. “Feels weird.” 

“I would expect it too.” Louis said. “You got hit in the head pretty hard. Got a concussion.” He reached a hand over to touch Harry’s. “In all seriousness, Haz, I’m so happy you’re finally awake.”

Harry nodded, looking down. “Will I be asked to testify?” He asked. 

“What?” Louis asked, leaning in closer so he could hear. “Will I have to testify?” Harry repeated. Louis sighed. “Probably.”

“I don’t want to.” Harry said. “I don’t want to ever see him again.” Louis sat in silence. He understood where Harry was coming from, but on the other hand, if Harry testified, Brandon would get more jail time.

But looking over at Harry, Louis’ heart sank. The bruises on his face, the tears that had slipped onto his hospital gown- those were all because of that monster. 

“That’s ok.” Louis said, squeezing Harry a little tighter. “Nobody will make you do anything you don’t want to.” Harry sighed his response, shaking in Louis’ arms. Louis kissed the top of his head, burying his face in Harry’s curls. 

“I called your family.” He said. Harry pulled back, looking at Louis anxiously. “Really?” He asked hopefully. Louis nodded. Harry’s smile faltered. “What did they say?” He asked, biting his bottom lip out of fear.

“They miss you so much. They’re coming tomorrow.” Louis said, caressing Harry’s cheek. Harry looked down.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked, lifting Harry’s chin with a finger. He could see the tears in Harry’s eyes. 

“I didn’t think anybody actually cared.” Harry admitted. “I thought that if they cared they would’ve found me.”

Louis made a clicking noise with his tongue, pulling Harry in for another hug. “Of course they care. The whole of Holmes Chapel was looking for you.”

“Really?” Harry asked innocently, barely higher than a whisper. “Of course, Haz. People love you and care about you. Like me.” Louis said. 

And for a brief moment, Louis let himself believe this could be forever. He could have told Harry then and there, and let this become a forever thing. 

But Harry came first. And Harry needed to be protected. 

So Louis stayed quiet.


	21. Chapter Twenty

Harry was in pain. 

When he first woke up, he was alright because the painkillers hadn’t worn off yet. But now, he was beginning to feel the burn of the cuts on his back, and the dull ache in his head while he waited for Aisha to come back in and give him another dosage of medicine. 

The sharp, metallic taste of blood was apparent in his mouth. He recognized it instantly after waking up. Four years of constant violence in a one-sided relationship does that to you. 

Louis was gone. Not completely, however, he’d just gone to get a snack, and he promised to be right back. He’d promised that fifteen minutes ago. 

Harry was beginning to grow restless, itching for someone to talk to. He didn’t have his phone, it was stashed away with his other personal belongings. He wished he could have gotten up and called for somebody, but even the slightest movements made his body feel as though it was on fire. 

He could hear the hospital staff’s footsteps outside the room. He counted them silently, until he reached a hundred, and then he started over. This went on for a while. 

When Louis finally came back into the room, Harry had already restarted his counting five times. He perked up at the sight of his best friend, however. “Lou!” He cried. “Where were you?”

Louis’ face fell, scaring Harry slightly. “I’m sorry, Haz,” Louis started, talking alarmingly fast. “I swear I didn’t mean to go for longer than ten minutes, it’s just that my mum called me, and I didn’t want to leave her hanging-”

Harry held up a hand for silence, before saying, “Don’t worry, it’s fine. I just got bored.”

Louis sighed, clearly relieved that he hadn’t upset Harry. “Good.” He said, sitting down beside Harry’s bed. “You had me worried there.” 

Harry chuckled. “Sorry,” He said, although he wasn’t really. “What did your mum want to know?” 

Louis looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember. “Well, she wanted to know if I was eating, and then she wanted to know if you were eating,” He started. “And then she asked if you were doing alright.”

Harry smiled. “Good old Jay.” He sighed with content. “What did you tell her?”

“I told her I didn’t know, I was getting a snack.” Louis joked, making Harry laugh, then gasp at the sharp pain in his ribs. Louis sat up, alert. 

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“Yeah, just hurts.” Harry groaned, his hands balling up into fists to distract himself.

“Do you want me to get Aisha? I just saw her.” Louis offered. Harry shook his head.

“No, I don’t want to bother her.” He said, before noticing Louis’ silence. “Lou?”

“Haz, you aren’t bothering anyone.” Louis said, very, very seriously. “You’re hurt, and you need help.” 

He rose from his chair, headed for the door. “I’m getting Aisha.” Harry sighed as Louis left the room. Why couldn’t his friend just understand he didn’t want to make anybody upset?

A few moments later, Louis returned with Aisha. “Hello, Harry.” She said, checking the monitor. “Well, you’re pretty overdue for another painkiller dosage. Give me a minute.” Harry watched silently as she bustled around, refilling his IV. 

“There, that should do it.” She said, finished with her work. She turned back to Harry. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with your dinner. Remember,” She said, leaning down and making sure she had his full attention. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You need to recover.”

She turned to leave. “See you later, boys.” 

Harry glared at Louis. “You didn't have to do that.” He mumbled. 

Louis threw up his hands in frustration. “Harry, you were literally in pain. What did you want me to do?”

“I just didn’t want to bother her.” Harry said. 

“Why not?”

“Because if I bother someone, they’ll get mad, and when they get mad, they-” Harry cut himself off, stopping in the middle of his sentence. Realizing where he was heading with his statement, he groaned, burying his face in his hands. “I’m doing it again.” He cried. 

He felt an arm around his shoulders as the bed dipped under Louis’ added weight. “Love, don’t cry.” He comforted Harry as the younger boy tried to suppress his tears. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“What if it was?” Harry asked in a voice barely higher than a whisper. 

“Brandon was fucking evil. That wasn’t love, Harry.” Louis whispered back. “People don’t hit the ones they love. Or at least, they shouldn’t.”

Harry leaned against Louis’ shoulder. “I want it to be over.” He cried.

“It’ll be over soon.” Louis reassured him. “I promise. Don’t you remember? Your mum and your sister are coming tomorrow.” 

Harry’s heart fell. “What if they hate me?” He asked. “What if they think I’m disgusting?”

“They won’t think that.” Louis promised. “They love you so much.”

“I never got to tell them in person.” Harry said. 

“Tell them what?” Louis asked, rubbing Harry’s shoulders softly, minding the boy’s bruises. 

“That I’m gay.” Harry whispered. Louis pressed a kiss to his curls. “They won’t care.” Louis said. “So long as you are safe and sound, they don’t care who you love.”

Harry let himself be reassured by his friend’s words, but couldn’t help feeling scared all the same. What if Louis was saying that just to calm him down? What if they did care?

“Thanks, Lou.” Harry said, nuzzling into Louis’ neck. 

“Don’t worry,” Louis said, almost as if he was reading Harry’s mind. “Everything will be alright. I got you.” 

\---

Truth be told, Louis was just as nervous as Harry was. Having only spoken to Gemma on the phone, he had no idea what to do when they arrived.

Not to mention the fact that he’d accidentally outed Harry to his family. He felt so guilty when Harry told him he hadn’t had a chance to come out. 

Harry was doing alright. It was fairly early, just before lunch the next day. With nothing else to do, Harry had fallen back asleep after he read a little bit, drowsy from his medication. 

Louis sat in the waiting room, phone in hand, messaging his other friends. Niall was itching to know if Anne and Gemma had arrived at the hospital yet, and every time he asked, it was a resounding no from Louis in response. 

He put his phone back into his pocket after Niall pestered him for the umpteenth time. It was getting annoying. With a sigh, he went to the water fountain, feeling an itch at his throat. 

He felt relieved after drinking the cold water, feeling the chill in his throat slide downwards. Suddenly, he felt a tap at his shoulder. Swallowing quickly, he turned around. 

A pretty, blonde girl stood in front of him. A darker haired woman stood behind her, her hand on the younger girl’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, to bother you,” the girl said, “but are you Louis?”

Louis' eyes widened. These women were Gemma and Anne. 

“Yes!” He exclaimed, thrusting out his hand. “Yes, that’s me. Hi!”

Gemma shook his hand tentatively, her touch as cold as ice. 

“Is Harry here?” She asked, pursing her lips together. Louis nodded. “I’ll go tell him you’re here.” He said. “Follow me.” 

The two women glanced at each other before following Louis to the outside of a room. He paused before opening the door. “Do you want to wait here?” He asked.

Gemma inhaled sharply, suddenly beginning to shake. 

Anne nodded, wrapping her arms around her trembling daughter. “Yes, you tell him we’ll be right in there.”

Louis nodded, opening the door and heading in. Gemma could faintly hear him whisper words of encouragement. 

“What was that for?” She hissed at her mother. Anne crossed her arms. “Are you ok, darling?” She asked, checking her daughter’s forehead for a temperature. “You’ve gone pale.”

“I don’t know.” Gemma whispered, feeling very faint all at once. “I feel like I’m going to pass out.” 

She leaned against the wall, trying to hold herself together. She heard a deeper voice, quieter than Louis’. It had changed quite a bit, but she could have recognized it anywhere. 

“Can I see them?” Harry whispered with excitement. 

Dear God. Gemma felt like throwing up. 

“Maybe I should sit down.” She whispered. Anne rubbed her back, motioning for her daughter to take in deep breaths. 

Louis’ head popped around the doorway. “He’s awake.” He said. “And he wants to see you.”


	22. Chapter Twenty One

Harry sat up when he watched Louis walk out. He felt nervous, his pulse racing. He felt cold, but also like he was sweating. 

He never thought he would be afraid to face his own family. Or at least, not this way. When he was thirteen, there were a few secrets he was carrying around that he was petrified his mother would find out about. But now, all of those secrets were out. And he was about to see what his mother’s reaction would be. 

That terrified him more than anything. He never wanted to see her cry, he’d hated the sight ever since his parents split when he was younger. He never wanted to be the reason she cried. 

Fuck. Louis was already out the door, he was already talking to them, telling them Harry wanted to see them (which he did, but that's besides the point). 

Fuck, why did he do that, why did he say he was ready, he wasn’t ready, he was lying, it was all his fault, he was making a mistake, he was fucking things up per usual.

He heard hushed whispers outside the door, the sounds of crying. What was taking so long? Maybe they changed their mind about seeing harry. Maybe they decided they hated him after all. 

Harry swallowed hard, hands clutching at the blanket for something to grab, something to remind him that this was real and not a fucking dream. He wished it was a dream. He knew what it felt like to wake up from those kinds of dreams, dealing with the pain all by himself, silently mourning while being used as a punching bag at home and at school. 

This wasn’t a dream, however, his mother and sister were outside, they wanted to see him, shit, shit, shit.

He kept staring at the door, begging it to open, pleading for someone to come in and get this over with if they were only there to say their goodbyes. 

And as if on cue, the door reopened. In walked his mother, closing it behind her. 

Harry teared up at the sight, as did she. She looked worse for wear, eyes tired and her hair streaked with premature gray. But still as beautiful as the last morning he saw her. 

She brought a hand to her mouth, her bottom lips trembling as tears brimmed her green eyes, identical to his own. This was real, it was so, so real, and she couldn’t believe it, and neither could he.

“Mum?” He whispered, his voice squeaking a tiny bit. 

She let out a cry, running to him, wrapping him up in one of her big hugs, kissing the top of his head. He cried against her shoulder, wetting her shirt with his tears. “Baby,” she whispered over and over, stroking his hair. 

It was like that for a minute or so. They didn’t know how long it was, neither cared about time. All that mattered was right in front of them, a boy in his mother’s arms, and a mother caressing her son, all grown up.

She pulled back, cupping his tear-stained face in her hands. He sniffled. “I’m so sorry, Mum.” He cried. “Oh, darling.” She soothed. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“But I let him, Mum.” Harry cried, shaking his hands. She pulled him back into a hug as he kept sobbing out reasons for his apology. “I let him, Mum, I let him take me with him, and- and t-touch me, and it’s all my fault.”

“Harry.” She addressed him for the first time in four years. “It is nobody’s fault but that wicked man’s.” She looked him in the eyes, smiling. He smiled back, blinking away his tears. “You’re not mad?” He choked out. 

She made a clicking noise with her tongue. “Never.” She promised, kissing his forehead.

“I suppose Louis told you I was with him before- well, you know.” Harry said, staring down at his lap. “You’re not mad at that?”

Anne sighed, taking her son’s hand, squeezing it slightly. “Harry, I’m not mad.” She said. “I’m a little disappointed you didn’t come to me first, or tell me afterwards, but I knew it was inevitable you would have those experiences one day. I just hate that man.” She cried. 

Harry nodded, taking in his mother’s words. Honesty had always been one of her strong suits. It sometimes backfired, but Harry understood where she was coming from. After all, if he had a kid who lost his virginity before high school, he didn’t know what he’d do. So, in terms of that, he figured he was getting the better end of things. 

“This wasn’t ever how I imagined coming out.” He said softly, chuckling a bit. Anne nodded. “I wish I’d been there to help.” She said. Harry smiled at her. 

“Mum?” He asked tentatively. “Yes, darling?” She asked back. He gulped. 

“Would it be ok if I came out now?” He asked. “I didn’t want you to find out after all this, but I wanted it to be proper.” Anne nodded. “Of course, Harry. Of course.” She answered softly. 

Harry exhaled shakily. It was weird, he wasn’t so scared anymore. 

“Well, Mum…. I’m gay.” He said, looking up into her face, scanning even the slightest change in her expression. “And I’ve known for a while.” He licked his lips. “I don’t want this to change anything.”

“Oh, baby,” She said, brushing a loose curl out of his face. “It doesn’t change a thing.” She stroked his cheek. “You will always be my Harry. Nothing ever changes that.” She smiled at him, another tear falling down her cheek. “I love you so, so much.”

“I love you, too, Mum.” He said, leaning back into her arms, longing for her caring touch. He rubbed his back soothingly. 

“You’ve grown up so much.” She remarked. “You’re a man now.” 

“I’ve still got a bit of growing left.” Harry retorted, and she couldn’t help but be reminded of his old cheeky self. 

“I know you do.” She kissed his curls. “I know.”

Harry pulled back, a smile on his face. His eyes were still puffy, but he was no longer crying. All of his fear alleviated, his mind moved on to other thoughts. 

“Where’s Gemma?” He asked, realizing his sister’s absence. Anne sighed, sitting up straight.

“Harry..” She trailed off. “Gemma was quite shaken up when you went missing. She’s dealt with a lot these last few years, and to be frank, she was a little scared of meeting you.” 

“Why?” Harry asked. He couldn’t imagine Gemma ever being scared of him. It wasn’t in her blood.

“She blamed herself a lot, and still does.” Anne said. “She got really scared right before coming in, so she’s just sitting down right now, calming down. Don’t worry,” She added, patting Harry’s arm after seeing his crestfallen face. “Just give her time. She’ll be in here in a little while.”

Harry smiled, but it felt only half real. He felt overwhelmed, the joy of having his mum near conflicting with the pangs of yearning for Gemma. He wanted to see her, desperately. 

But Anne was right. Gemma would come in, she just needed time.


	23. Chapter Twenty Two

She kept breathing, in and out, in and out. Doing her best to focus on just that, she sat in the plastic chair, elows rested on her knees and her head between them.

Gemma never expected to be this terrified to see her own brother. Not that she was scared of him, but what if he hated her? What if he blamed her, like she did herself?

Louis sat beside her, awkwardly patting her on the back to calm her down. He didn’t exactly know if it was appropriate to be touching her, seeing as they’d only talked on the phone, but Gemma didn’t seem to mind it. It kind of helped, forcing her to focus on how she was feeling rather than her fears. 

Once her breathing had finally slowed, she sat back up, rubbing her eyes. She hadn’t gotten sleep the night before, or on the drive over, or much the past couple years. Maybe she needed to sleep. 

Louis looked at her tentatively, hands in his lap. “Are you ok?” He asked shyly. She nodded. 

“Yeah.” She said. “Just tired.” She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Sorry for freaking out like that.” She said. “I don’t normally have bad panic attacks in public.”

Louis shrugged. “I don’t mind.” He said. “I’m an older brother, too. I mean, you’re an older sister, I was just trying to say that we both have younger siblings-”

Gemma held up a hand to silence him, amused at his rambling. “Thanks.” She said.

He smiled. “I was trying to say that I know how you feel.” He said. “I love my little sisters with everything I have, and I don’t know what I’d do if something like this were to happen to them.”

Gemma laughed dryly. “I don’t know what I did.” She said. “It’s been such a blur.”

“Sorry.” Louis said. 

Gemma shook her head. “It’s not your fault.” She said, pausing for a minute. “How long have you known him?”

Louis thought for a minute. “About four months.” He said.

Gemma hesitated again. “Did he ever say it was my fault?” She asked, hand gripping the sides of the chair so tightly her knuckles were pale white.”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked, sitting up, alert. 

“I wasn’t supposed to go out that day.” Gemma said quietly. “I was going to walk Harry home, and one of my friends asked me to go to her house.” She hesitated. “I didn’t think it was a big deal. So I went with her, and Harry went home.”

A tear rolled down her cheek. “My mom pretended like it was fine, I didn’t know, but it was all my fault.” She said, angrily wiping away the tear. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Harry hated me. If I’d been there-”

“You could’ve been hurt.” Louis interjected. Gemma’s jaw dropped with surprise. “Trust me, Brandon would’ve just hurt you to get to Harry.” Louis pointed to his black eye. “I speak from experience.” He pointed to the bruises on his arms. “This, and this, and this were all because of him.” He pointed to the gash on his lip. “He is ruthless, and was prepared to kill us. I’m sure of it.”

Gemma swallowed hard, nodding. Deep down, she knew Louis was right. There was still this urge in her to say it was her fault, all her fault, but she couldn’t find the words to say it. 

“How is he?” She whispered. 

“You should ask that yourself.” Louis said.

She nodded, more tears slipping down her flushed cheeks. “I know.” She cried. “I know.”

Louis put a hand on her shoulder, comforting her. “Hey,” He said softly. “He talked about you.”

Gemma looked up sharply. “He did?” She whispered. “What did he say?”

“He loves you. And he misses you so much.” Louis said. “He’s not going to blame you, Gemma, he just wants to see you.”

Gemma nodded, taking his words into consideration. She took a deep breath, rising from her spot in the chair. “Thanks for saving his life.” She said to Louis, walking away from him and towards the door to Harry’s room. He nodded as she left, just glad to help lift her spirits.

Just as she was about to put her hands around the doorknob, Anne came out, wiping a tear from her red and puffy eyes. 

“Gemma!” She cried. “I was just about to come look for you.” She pointed into the room, somehow excited. “Harry wants to see you.”

Gemma nodded. “I know.” She said. “I’m ready to see him, too.” 

Anne smiled at her daughter, hugging her briefly. “Can I have a few minutes alone with him?” Gemma asked nervously. “Of course.” Her mother said, patting her daughter’s back lovingly. 

Gemma nodded, smiling at her mother. Taking a deep breath, she walked inside.

And for a moment, she couldn’t breathe. 

There Harry lay on his hospital bed, looking up at Gemma. She had to do a double take. He’d grown up a lot since she last saw him, the little chubby-cheeked kid. 

He looked thinner, his face was more slender, his legs even longer and lankier. His hair was longer, in desperate need of a cut, unruly curls splayed out across the pillow he rested his head on.

But his eyes were the same. The same green as their mother, the same soft glow to them, the same twinkle that they carried whenever he was about to laugh or smile.

“Gem!” He cried, sitting up. She smiled at the sight, running forward, taking him in her arms and hugging him tightly. 

They sat like that for a minute. No words, just the feeling of their arms around each other. Gemma missed this so much. Harry’s hugs were the best. Whenever she was sad or down, he would give her a hug to cheer her up. 

“I missed you so much.” She whispered. “I missed you, too.” He whispered back.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“Liar.”


	24. Chapter Twenty Three

Louis sat, watching the family’s interaction with each other. They were eating: Louis had helped them with finding a place to get food in Doncaster, knowing the best places to get fast food in the city. And now, there they were, eating hamburgers and talking like no time at all had passed.

Harry needed to gain weight before he could be discharged, but it looked like he was enjoying himself as he dug into his meal, shoveling fries into his mouth. Louis didn’t blame him. Harry came clean about how Brandon rarely provided food outside of stale cereal and school lunches. 

Honestly, Louis was terrified to think of what might have happened had he not acted on his instincts. Harry told them everything- the fights, the smashed beer bottles, sometimes used as weapons, Brandon forcing himself on Harry multiple times a week.

Should Louis ever meet Brandon again, he would kill him. That was a promise.

Anne was smiling at her son and daughter as they shared a conversation. Louis could see she was tearing up, but he didn’t comment. They’d all cried enough that day. 

He didn’t feel out of place in the room, it was more like he was looking at a picture. A beautiful picture, one of two children and their mother, one of family, of love and comfort. While he wasn’t actively engaging in conversation with them, he felt comfortable in the room, not at all awkward.

“So, Harry,” Anne said, wiping her eyes with the cuff of her sleeve, “do you still like the same things?”

Harry smiled, nodding. “For the most part.” He said. “I still like music a lot, and singing.”

Brandon never liked it when Harry sang at home. He would say he was being annoying, and Harry didn’t want to make him mad, so he stopped.

“That’s lovely.” Anne smiled, placing her hands in her lap. 

“Louis likes singing, too.” Harry said. Louis perked up at the mention of his name. “He’s in a band, mum.”

“Really?” Anne asked Louis. He nodded at her, making sure to swallow the food in his mouth before answering. “We’ll have to hear your band sometime, Louis.” Anne said, smiling at her son’s friend.

Louis smiled back, nodding. “Thanks,” He said. “Our friends are also in it. Zayn and Niall and Liam, we’ve been together about a year now. We cover stuff mostly, but we've written stuff, too. We just haven’t had a chance to perform it yet.” He looked at Harry. “We keep asking Harry to join, but he hasn’t given us an answer yet.”

“Oh, Harry!” Gemma exclaimed. “You should join! I’d love to hear you sing again.” She turned to their mother. “Mum, tell him he should join!”

Anne’s smile faltered for a moment, but she nodded. “Has your voice changed much, Harry?” She asked instead of answering Gemma, raising Louis’ suspicions. 

“Erm, not so much.” He said, clearing his throat. “I guess it’s a little deeper, but not much else has changed.” 

He turned his focus to Louis, and Louis melted. There was just something about the way Harry would look at him with his innocent green eyes, his blythe smile and rosy cheeks. There was no way Louis was getting over this crush any time soon.

“As for the band, I’m not sure I want to join yet.” He said to Louis. “Sorry, Lou.” He shrugged. 

“Ah, come on, Harry.” Gemma complained. “You always used to talk about forming a band with Will and Nick and Hadyn.” 

Louis cocked an eyebrow at the mention of Harry’s old friends. He didn’t even know why he was jealous, he just was.

“I used to.” Harry said solemnly, looking down. All of a sudden it became very quiet in the room, the reality of Harry’s words setting in. He wasn’t thirteen anymore. He’d grown up, he’d been through trauma, he wasn’t a kid. A school band was the last thing on his mind, probably.

And it hit Louis. This whole time he’d been persisting Harry with his questions, practically begging him to join their band, which still didn’t have a name. And this whole time, he’d been bringing up painful memories for Harry. He brought a hand to his mouth, disgusted with his own behavior.

“Sorry, Harry.” Gemma said. 

Me too. Louis thought.

“I shouldn’t have said that.” She continued. 

Me neither.

“It’s alright, Gem.” Harry smiled at his sister. “It just sucks to have missed so much.”

“It wasn’t your fault, darling.” Anne comforted him, reaching to grab his hand with her own. “I know that.” Harry said. 

“Don’t worry, Harry.” Gemma said. “I’ll help you get all caught up when we go home.”

Louis’ blood ran cold. When they go home. He hadn’t thought this far ahead.

“You mean, like, go to Holmes Chapel?” He asked, rather stupidly. All eyes in the room turned to look at him. 

“Well, that’s what I presumed.” Gemma said. Louis nodded, his lips forming into an o shape. He felt hurt. Looking back, it made sense that this would come up. He just never fully realized that he would have to say goodbye to Harry for good. 

Maybe he’d never get to tell him how he felt.

“There’s no rush to decide things.” Anne interjected, drowning out the overwhelming silence in the room. “We’ll figure everything out after Harry is discharged. Does that sound alright?” 

Everyone nodded, and she smiled at all of them. “Good.” She said, clasping her hands together, setting them on her lap. 

The family jumped back into another conversation, but Louis didn’t. He went quiet, not knowing what to do with this new information. Not knowing how to handle the situation, he did the only thing he was best at: zoning out.

He felt selfish. As well as extremely guilty. All he wanted was for Harry to stay. He didn’t want things to change. But he knew it was what was best for Harry. 

All the same, he couldn’t help but think of himself. He tried not to, but he simply couldn’t. He had to accept it. 

He was completely head over heels, truly, deeply, madly in love with Harry Styles.


	25. Chapter Twenty Four

Eventually, Louis went back to school. He didn’t want to, but Jay was very insistent. Now that Harry had Gemma and Anne to look after him, Louis didn’t need to be there to look after Harry 24/7. 

Which meant that he wasn’t there the day Harry was discharged. 

He’d finally gained enough weight to go home, and while he was still underweight, a meal plan was arranged. Anne was worried about his weight at first, but Aisha reassured her that he would be fine so long as he stuck to the meal plan. 

He wasn’t on medication. Not yet, at least. Anne hoped he would see a psychologist or go to therapy at least, but he refused. He didn’t want to talk about what happened over the past four years. He was insistent that he would be fine without therapy, and Anne didn’t want to upset him. 

Brandon took the last four years from him, he didn’t want to relive them. 

And now, he was excited for the coming years with his family. He wasn’t looking too hard into it, he just knew that things would be good from now on. 

This feeling only intensified as he watched the Doncaster General Hospital fade from sight. He was sitting in the passenger seat of his mother’s car, dressed in a new sweater and trousers. Gemma had run out and bought them while Anne was helping Harry with physical therapy with his wrist, which was still in its cast. He managed to convince Louis and Gemma to sign it, and Louis added a little heart next to his. His stomach felt fluttery every time he glanced at it. It was a weird feeling, but not unwelcome. 

He tapped his foot against the floor of the car. Anne glanced over at her son, who was practically bouncing up and down in his seat. She smiled. This was the Harry she remembered, the Harry she missed. She couldn’t believe she’d missed so much. She could barely believe he was sitting in front of her, but there he was, live in the flesh, the same grin on his face. 

She leaned over to turn the radio on, remembering the many days her kids sang along loudly in the back of her car when they were little. 

An upbeat song came on, and Harry immediately began to nod his head along to the rhythm. “Easy come, easy go, that’s just how you live, oh, take, take, take it all but you never give,” he sang. Gemma and Anne shared a glance, leaning in to listen to his voice. 

“I’d catch a grenade for ya, throw my hands on the blade for ya, I’d jump in front of a train for ya,” Harry sang loudly. “You know I’d do anything for ya.”

He looked around, suddenly seeing his mother and sister’s eyes on him. Blushing, his voice dropped to a whisper as he mumbled the rest of the chorus. Gemma clapped loudly. “That was brilliant!” She exclaimed, and Anne beamed with pride. “You sounded lovely, darling,” she said. “I missed your voice.”

Harry mumbled his thanks, but stayed silent for the rest of the ride. He wasn’t used to this much attention still. Even in his friend group, the attention was divided among them. But now, he felt like an object on display at a museum, everyone staring at him like some precious treasure. 

They pulled up to the hotel, and together, as a family, they walked up to their room. Two beds were in the room, one for Gemma and Anne to share, and the other for Harry. 

Two hours later, they were sitting on the carpeted floor, eating chinese food straight out of the box. Harry was picking at his fried rice, barely glancing up at his family or taking part in the conversation. Eventually, Anne set her food down, resting her hand on Harry’s shoulder. 

“Anything you want to talk about?” She asked. He shook his head.

“I don’t know.” He said. “Just thinking.”

“About what?” Gemma asked. Harry bowed his head. “Brandon.” He admitted. 

Gemma and Anne shared a knowing glance. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Harry nodded. 

\---

He entered the house, surprised at the fact it was unlocked. It was always locked. Walking slowly, he peered around the corner of the wall. 

There Brandon stood, in the middle of the room. “Bran!” Harry yelled with joy, running to wrap his arms around the older teenager. Brandon reciprocated the hug, stroking Harry’s curls softly.

Harry couldn’t believe what was happening. His ex, in his house, hugging him. The last time he saw him, he was saying he had to go off to university. 

“I thought you said you wouldn’t come back!” Harry exclaimed. 

“Well, here I am!” Brandon said, shrugging. 

“I’m so happy to see you.” Harry said, sighing into Brandon’s chest. Yes, he was naive, and stupidly romantic. He’d expected something more after he gave away his virginity to this man, something beautiful. 

“We should go.” Brandon said suddenly. Harry’s eyes shot open. “What do you mean?” He giggled. Maybe Brandon was finally taking him out properly. 

“I have a place in Brighton.” Brandon said very seriously. Harry’s blood ran cold. “We'll run, far away from here.”

Harry shook his head. “I can’t.” He whispered, as if telling a secret. Brandon’s eyes turned dark with anger. “I didn’t ask.” He said coldly, suddenly seeming much, much taller than Harry. 

“No.” He whispered, backing away. He pulled out his phone, dialing the emergency number. 

Then, he felt a sharp pain from behind. The phone was knocked out of his hands, and he was whipped around to face Brandon.

“We’re leaving.” He said, dragging Harry along with him. 

Harry didn’t know what to do. So he did the first thing that came to mind. Screaming and kicking, he stalled Brandon for as long as he could. If he could break free, he could grab the phone and run into his room, lock it behind him and call the police.

“Oh, shut up already.” Brandon said, throwing Harry against the wall, bashing his curly head. 

Going limp, he felt himself dragged out to Brandon’s car. His memory was cloudy, but he vaguely remembered calling out weakly, but no one came to help. When he was shoved roughly into the car, he distinctly remembered Brandon’s words. 

“From here on out, if you pull anymore shit, I will kill you.” 

\---

A tear rolled down his cheek. “Harry..” Gemma trailed off. 

“Is it bad to say that there were parts I loved?” Harry whispered. “I did love him. At least, at one point I did. He was good to me in the beginning.”

“It’s normal to feel that way.” Anne said. “If you had romantic feelings for him, of course there’s moments to love.”

“Even if it makes me feel guilty?” Harry asked. 

“Harry, you were being manipulated.” Gemma said. “It was not your fault. You thought you were going to get killed, and that alone is reason for you to stay.” 

Harry nodded, and Gemma wrapped her arms around him. “You are the strongest person I know.” She whispered. “I know you are. You survived this, and pulled through.”

Anne joined in on the hug, almost burying the sobbing boy in this embrace. “I love you so much.” Gemma whispered. 

Harry nodded in response, to overcome with tears to answer without breaking into wails. But Gemma was right. 

He survived this. He was a survivor. And that thought alone could get him through his recovery.


	26. Chapter Twenty Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so, what are we thinking?

Louis knocked at the door. He made sure to get the room number right, memorizing it on his way there. In the past week, Harry’s family had moved from their hotel room to a small flat, to hopefully help Harry adjust to normal life. 

The door opened up, and Harry appeared, his curls illuminated by the kitchen light. Unironically, it looked a bit like a halo, only confirming Louis’ belief that Harry was secretly an angel. “Louis!” He cried, his smile lighting up his whole face. Louis smiled back as the younger boy wrapped his arms around him in excitement. 

Louis stepped back after a moment, shuffling awkwardly. “Um, I brought you homework.” He said, handing a folder to Harry. “You don’t have to do it right away, you just have to do it, I guess.” 

Harry took the folder in his hand. “You realize my mum might not let me go back.”

“I know.” Louis admitted. “I guess I just wanted a reason to see you.” Harry smiled at the comment, leaning back in for a hug. This one lasted longer, and as he stood there with his arms wrapped around Harry, he could imagine this feeling lasting forever. He never wanted it to end.

“Harry, who’s at the door?” Anne said. The two broke apart as Harry’s mum appeared behind him. “Oh, Louis!” She smiled warmly. “Why don’t you come on in? You could stay for dinner if you wanted.”

Louis grinned, stepping over the threshold. “Thank you, Anne.” They’d already had the whole ‘please, Anne is fine’ conversation, and, although it felt weird to address her by her first name, Louis was getting used to it. 

“Gemma, can you set the table for four?” Anne asked. They were pretty used to this. Louis dropped by whenever he could. The others came by occasionally to check up on Harry and get to talk to him, but Louis was the only one who stayed for dinner. Anne was grateful her son had found such a good friend to get him through this. 

“I’ll go help Gemma,” Louis offered, walking into the kitchen. Gemma was getting out paper plates and plastic utensils to eat with. “Thanks, Louis.” She said when he took them to the table. “You’re welcome.” He said. “How’s Harry been?”

She sighed, clearly sympathetic for her younger brother. “He had another nightmare last night.” She said. Louis made a clicking noise with his tongue. “Poor Harry.” He said. 

She nodded. “I wish I could take all his pain for him.” She said. 

Harry strolled into the kitchen, a grin on his face. “So, Louis, what’s been going on at school?”

Louis smiled back at Harry. “People miss you.” He answered. “They don’t know why you were in the hospital, they just know you were.” 

Harry nodded. “It’s good not everyone thought I had a brother.” He remarked dryly. “I don’t want to have to explain it to everyone.”

“Mr. Reed misses you. He says you’re one of his star students.” Louis said. “Second to only me.” Harry chuckled. “As if,” He laughed at Louis’ assertion. “I miss music class. I think I miss that the most.”

Gemma and Anne shared a knowing glance. 

“He knows the full story. I asked him first.” Louis said. “He said he had a friend who was in an abusive household growing up.” Anne placed her hand over her heart. “It’s heartbreaking that kids are still in those situations.” She said. They all understood what she meant, even though she didn’t say it aloud. 

She never thought she’d have to deal with it first hand. 

“Alright, time for dinner.” Anne announced, bringing the chicken to the table. “Come on, let’s eat.”

All four of them took their seats at the table. Passing the food around, they fixed their own plates, biting into the delicious food. Gemma was teasing Harry slightly, poking him and making jokes about his childhood. Harry was blushing madly when Gemma brought up the times he would pretend to play guitar while she played her music on the radio.

Louis complimented Anne’s food, sparking a conversation with her. He could help but feel like he might have more of a chance in the future with Harry.

“So, Louis, I’ve been talking to your mother.” Anne said. “She’s very lovely.”

“Thank you.” Louis smiled, proud of his mum. 

“I can’t believe how many siblings you have.” Anne said, chuckling a little. “I had my hands full with just these two. Props to your mum, she’s done quite the job. Look at you, you’ve grown to be quite the gentleman.”

“Thank you.” Louis blushed. “It’s all thanks to my mum.”

“I’m always amazed by mothers with big families. I don’t know how I would do that.” Anne remarked. 

“I don’t know.” Louis said. “I kind of want a big family some day.”

“Even as young as you are?” Anne asked. Harry leaned in, eager to hear Louis’ answer.

“Of course.” Louis said. “I’ve always imagined finding the perfect man to fall in love with, and eventually settling down. After I’ve established my music career, of course.” He threw his hands up. “What can I say? I’m a romantic.” He proclaimed, making Anne and Harry laugh. 

Gemma, on the other hand, couldn’t help but notice Louis’ subtle glance at Harry while he was talking about finding the perfect man.

“That’s very lovely, Louis.” Anne smiled. 

“I’d like that too.” Harry said. “Someday.” 

“Not for a long time.” Anne said, almost like a warning. “You still have plenty of time.”

Harry arched an eyebrow at his mum’s sudden assertion, but said nothing of it. Anne clasped her hands together, putting them down in front of her on the table. “Now, I’m glad Louis is here, because I’ve come to a decision about how this is going to work.” She gestured to Harry and Louis sitting beside each other. The two boys shared a glance. Harry bit his lip nervously, waiting for his mum’s decision. 

Worst case scenario, he moved back to Holmes Chapel, he still could see Louis. It was only a couple hours’ drive, they could meet up on weekends, probably.

“I’ve decided that since it is Harry’s senior year, it will be easier for him to complete the term at your school than to enroll in the middle of the year.” Anne said. “In other words, we’re staying.”

Harry cried out with excitement as Louis wrapped his arms around him. He felt elated. He could stay, he could see Louis everyday.

“Gemma will have to go back to university eventually, but I’m going to try and figure out a way to work from here.” Anne explained. “One condition: I want Harry to come back for the holidays.”

Harry nodded enthusiastically. “Thank you, Mum!” He cried, walking over to give her a hug. She rubbed his back. “It’s the least I could do.” She said. 

Turning back around, he gave Louis a big hug. Louis wished it could’ve lingered longer than the few brief seconds it did, but he could work with it. What mattered was that Harry was staying, and he wouldn’t have to resort to weekend visits and Skype calls. 

The first thing that came to mind was his birthday. He’d hoped Harry would’ve been able to celebrate it with him. But he let the thought go. It was selfish to ask him to stay just for that, when undoubtedly, Harry had friends he wanted to reunite with back in Holmes Chapel.

But there was a way he could spend one good night with Harry.

“I was wondering,” he announced over the joyous noise, “there’s a winter dance coming up, and I was hoping I could take Harry with me?”

Harry nodded eagerly, looking at his mum with pleading eyes. “Please, Mum?” He begged. 

“What day is it?” Anne asked. 

“The seventeenth.” Louis answered quickly. 

“That should be alright, as long as you want to go, Harry.” Anne said. Harry nodded enthusiastically. “Of course!” He cried, facing Louis. 

“Well, in that case,” Louis joked, getting down on one knee, “Harry, would you be my date to the dance?” 

Harry rolled his eyes. “Why, yes!” He cried overdramatically, leaning in to hug Louis tightly. This hug lasted, and Louis couldn't help but send up a silent prayer of thanks.

Sure, he might not be able to be with Harry, but at least he’d always have this.

Gemma watched as the hug lasted. In the back of her mind, she knew it could just be innocent. But the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Louis was the only friend of Harry’s who regularly came to dinner. Louis was the one who’d insisted on staying in the hospital to watch Harry, he was the one driven to aid Harry’s recovery in whatever way he could. 

Then it hit her. 

Holy shit. Louis was in love with Harry.


	27. Chapter Twenty Six

Falling asleep was one of the weirdest things to get readjusted to. Harry understood that he was safer now that Brandon was gone, but he couldn’t deny it felt weird. He’d only shared a bed with him over the past few years, and, in some weird way, it somehow got him through the night. But now, he was alone. It was easy to fall asleep, but harder to sleep through the whole night. There were several times where he’d woken up in the middle of the night, sweating like he’d just run a marathon. He never told his mum or Gemma, but he had a slight suspicion that they already knew, granted that the walls were thin and his nightmares involved a lot of screaming- mostly in his part. 

Every so often, he would have a good dream in the midst of all these nightmares. Sometimes it was a childhood memory, like hanging out around the bakery or playing with Gemma, other times, it was almost like the future- he would be up onstage with Louis as the blue eyed beauty sang his heart out. 

But it was never hard to wake up. 

“Hey, wake up.” Harry opened one eye, keeping the other closed to get used to the light of the morning. Gemma sat on the side of his bed. It wasn’t the first time she’d woken him up. The first time, she’d said it was a little creepy how he just woke up within moments, especially when compared to the sleepy mornings, where she remembered him groggily walking around the house in his pajamas. Sooner or later, she’d connected the dots, realizing that he felt a compulsive need to do what he was told, almost like an instinct. Just another reason to hate the man that made her brother this way. 

“I’m going for a drive. Do you wanna come?” She asked, teasing him by pulling the comforter away from him. He groaned at the cold feeling, sitting up to grab the blanket from her. “We could get breakfast.” She offered. 

“What did Mum say?” He asked, rubbing his eyes. 

“I already asked her last night. She said it’s fine. We can even leave her a note.” She said. “Please? I want to spend time with you. You don’t even have to change, just get your jacket and shoes, I guess.”

Harry smiled at the offer. “Fine.” He said, watching the way her face lit up at his answer. 

Fifteen minutes later, he was fully awake, not regretting a thing. They’d left a note saying they were out for a drive and would be back in an hour, and were playing music loudly, singing along. 

Harry had never witnessed Gemma’s driving skills firsthand, as she’d been studying to get her license when he last saw her. She seemed to be much better now, seemingly focused behind the wheel, rather than when she’d driven into their mailbox (that was a good story.)

“So, do you like coffee yet?” Gemma asked. “Of course!” Harry said, taking mock offense.

“Let me guess, cream and sugar?” She laughed. 

“Actually, I like it better without.” He said. She arched an eyebrow. 

“Nice.” She said, impressed. He smiled, feeling warm inside. This was nice. Also it was like what his mum was talking about, making new memories, right? 

“I go on morning drives a lot.” Gemma said casually. “Just to clear my mind. I had awful nightmares- kind of like you,” she added, looking over at Harry. He nodded. He hadn’t realized that she had to deal with that because of him. “Damn, I haven’t felt this good in so long.” She laughed, and he did too. He could have said the same.

She turned, pulling into the drive-in of a small cafe. When they asked for her order, she replied, “Two black coffees, no cream, no sugar, please?”

As they sat with their hot coffees, Harry couldn't help but experience a warm feeling. Not just because of the coffee, but also because of how fun it felt. It felt like everything was going to be alright from here on out.

“So, do you have a boyfriend?” Harry teased. Gemma snorted. 

“Not at the moment. I’ve tried dating, though.” She answered, taking a sip of coffee. “I would ask you the same but we both know the answer to that.”

He chuckled. “Yeah,” He said. “I was wondering, I know it sounds stupid-”

“No, go ahead, I won’t think it’s stupid.” Gemma said. Harry bit his lip nervously. “Does me being gay change anything?” He asked. She turned to stare at him, confused. “I know it’s stupid, but I have this irrational fear, and I just need to know.” Harry explained. 

“Of course it doesn’t change anything.” Gemma said, reaching out to rub his shoulder. “You’re still my baby brother, and I love you very much.”

He groaned hearing the words ‘baby brother.’ Shaking his head, he smiled to himself.

“Did it surprise you?” He asked. She thought for a minute. “‘No, not really.” 

Both laughed. “Ok, quick question: were you ever with anyone besides Brandon?” She asked. 

“No.” Harry said. “I mean, I had crushes, like everyone else, but I wasn’t ever actually with anyone. Nobody ever liked me back.”

“I can think of someone who does.” Gemma said slyly.

“What?” Harry asked, excited. “Who?”

Knowing Gemma, it was probably someone from Holmes Chapel. Probably a girl, or an old friend in the closet. His bet was on it being a girl. He couldn’t think of anyone who could be gay in his old school.

She looked at him, a twinkle in her eye. “Louis.” She said. 

His heart skipped a beat. “What? Did he tell you?” He asked. His best friend in love with him? Was that possible?

“He didn’t have to tell me.” She said. “Think about it. He visits pretty much everyday, he was scared to death you’d go back to Holmes Chapel, he got on his knee to ask you to the dance, and he looks at you like you’re the most interesting thing that’s ever walked into the room.”

He sat in silence, thinking. “And even if I’m imagining everything, please give it a shot because you’d be so cute together!” Gemma pleaded. 

“I kind of feel stupid now.” Harry said. “I don’t know how I didn’t notice that.”

“You were distracted, nobody will blame you.” Gemma waved her hand dismissively. “What are you thinking?”

“I don’t know.” Harry muttered. “How can I tell if I feel the same way?” 

“Well, you start to think about them all the time,” Gemma explained. “Then the butterflies comes, and then you start to feel weak in the knees around them-”

“Weak in my knees?” Harry asked, recalling a very specific conversation he’d had with Louis a long time ago. 

“Yeah.” Gemma said. “How about this: could you picture yourself with Louis?”

Harry thought.

“Yes.” He said quietly. Gemma almost slammed on the brakes. “What?” She cried.”Are you being serious?”

Harry nodded. She turned the corner, pulling up beside their apartment complex. “What are you going to do about it?” She asked. 

“I don’t know.” He admitted.


	28. Chapter Twenty Seven

Harry understood where his mother was coming from- really, he did, probably better than anyone- but you have to agree, helping an almost-eighteen-year-old get ready for the dance is not necessarily something that sounds logical. At least to him.

“Mum!” He cried as she tried to wipe a smudge off his face. “Stop babying me!”

She stepped back, smile faltering. He regretted his choice of words as soon as he said them. “Sorry,” He muttered. “I didn’t mean it.”

“No, don’t worry.” She said, patting his shoulders. “Just… look at you. I don’t have any more time to baby you.” She smiled at him. “You look like such a man.”

He smiled back at his beaming mother. “Thanks, mum.” 

He turned around, looking at himself in the mirror. He was rather proud of what he’d chosen to wear. It wasn’t quite as colorful as he wished, but he decided to just play it safe for a while, at least fashion-wise. He wore a black sports jacket, which came down only just past his elbows to accommodate his wrist, still in his cast. Underneath, he wore a black and white floral patterned shirt, silky to the touch. As soon as he’d seen it in the shops, he knew it was the one. 

The weirdest part was his shoes. They were just plain, nothing abnormal about them at first glance. But he always got this warm feeling when he saw them, his first new pair of shoes in over three years. And they actually fit, for once.

He didn’t want to go all out with his outfit, but he did ask a favor from Gemma. He wanted to paint his nails, but didn’t know how, not to mention his cast getting in the way of everything. So Gemma agreed, like the absolute angel she was, and they spent an afternoon painting Harry’s fingernails a light purple color, like lilac. They were rather proud of the end result, although it took a lot of patience- mostly on Gemma’s part, because she had to redo them whenever Harry accidentally smudged it or rubbed it off.

But he had to agree with his mum- he did look grown up. He didn’t know if it was the way his hair was pushed out of his face at last, or the sports jacket, he just looked different.

“Hey.” Gemma said, peeking her head into the room. “Looking good, Harry.” 

“Thanks,” he grinned. Anne clasped her hands to her heart. “Look at you two!” She cried. “I have to get a picture.”

She went past Gemma to go get her camera. Gemma threw her hands up in confusion. “I’m not even dressed.” She said. Shaking her head and muttering, she walked over to Harry. 

“So.” She said. “Are you nervous?” 

“Yes,” He sighed, “Is it obvious?”

“Well, only to me, because I know.” Gemma reassured him. He shook his head. 

“I feel like I’m going insane.” He said. “I've literally never felt this way about anyone before.”

Her eyes widened. “Really?” She asked. “Not even Brandon?”

He shrugged. “I’ve been thinking a lot about him. I kind of realized I wasn’t really in love with him, just scared of him.” Harry explained. “I mean, he took my virginity, it felt like an obligation.”

“Do you think you’re in love with Louis?” Gemma asked hopefully.

“I don’t know.” Harry said. “I mean, I found this all out two days ago, and i don’t even know if half of it’s real. I mean, he just makes me feel this way-”

“Weak in your knees?” Gemma asked.

“Yep.” Harry nodded. “And what if he doesn’t actually feel the same way?”

“Harry, calm down.” Gemma said. “Listen. You have to trust me when I say he does. I just know, it’s like instinct.” 

“But what if he hates me?” He cried. 

“I can’t imagine anyone hating you.” She reassured him.

Harry nodded. He so desperately wanted her to be right, but he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of doubt at the same time. What if this was all in his imagination and it would ruin what he already had with Louis?

Before they could talk anymore about it, Anne came back in, camera in hand. “I ‘ve got to get a picture, why don’t we go to the front room?”

Moving over into the other room, their mum insisted on getting a photo of them together. Gemma reluctantly agreed, but stood behind Harry to hide her sweater and sweatpants. Then, Anne got a couple pictures of Harry alone.

Then, the bell rang. “That’s Louis!” Harry cried, running over to open the door for him. And as soon as he saw Louis, he melted. 

Louis looked perfect, more so than usual. His hair was quiffed, and he wore a white shirt with a dark blue collar and suspenders that matched the collar. His blue eyes sparkled as he looked at Harry. To put it short, he looked heavenly.

“Hi, Harry.” Louis said casually. Harry didn’t show it, but he couldn’t help but feel like Louis wasn’t interested. If someone was secretly in love with another person, wouldn’t it show? The tone of Louis’ voice held no betrayal of his feelings for Harry, if they existed. 

Louis held up a small bundle of flowers. “I don’t know if this is what you’re supposed to do, but Liam got one for Maya, and i thought you’d like one too.” He explained. “It’s a corsage.”

Harry nodded. “I know.” He said breathlessly. Louis reached for Harry’s wrist to slide it onto his arm, and Harry watched as he did. Once the corsage was secured on Harry’s wrist, Louis glanced up, and he and Harry locked eyes, and then Harry knew that was all the confirmation he needed. The way Louis blushed as he fumbled with the corsage, eyes twinkling, hands shaking gave it all away. 

Jay smiled at the two boys. “You look amazing, Harry.” She said. “Thank you, Jay.” He said, smiling. Anne beamed as the two exchanged words. 

“Isn’t this lovely?” She asked. “Can I get a picture of you two?”

“Sure,” Louis smirked. He and Harry stood side by side for the picture, and Harry made sure to fully display the corsage, grinning like a madman the whole time. Jay also insisted on getting a photo of the two boys, beaming at their sons. 

“Ok, so you’ll take them to the dance, and then it’s Liam who’s driving you back, right?” Anne clarified. Harry and Louis nodded simultaneously. “That sounds about right.” Louis said. 

Anne hugged Harry, kissing the top of his forehead. “Have fun, darling.” She said. Harry smiled at her. “I will.” Harry promised. 

He turned to walk out of the door with Louis. The blue eyed boy held out his hand, and Harry took it, feeling sparks at Louis’ touch.


	29. Chapter Twenty Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get your tissues ready.

Stepping up to the doors of the gym, Harry could feel his heart beating wildly against his chest. He’d never been afraid like this before, and he didn’t know what to do. He could see the lights flashing from the window and he felt his hand clamming up in Louis’. Don’t get him wrong, it felt nice to hold hands, but he was scared of sweating too much, and then Louis might get grossed out, and he wouldn’t like Harry half as much as before.

Louis turned to look at him. “Hey,” he said softly. “Are you alright?”

Harry shook his head. “I’ve never been to one of these before.” He said, “Is it weird that I’m nervous?” 

Louis chuckled a little. “Not at all.” He reassured Harry. “Don’t worry about it. This is going to be a fun night, ok? I’ll stick right by your side, I promise. Nothing to be afraid of.”

Harry nodded. That may be true for Louis, but not Harry, He was scared of more than a dance. He was scared that he might like Louis in a way that Louis didn’t like him back in, and he might let it slip, and Louis would hate him, and they’d never talk again.

“Ready?” Louis asked. Harry nodded. Together, they walked into the gym. Harry marveled at the sight. 

Sparkly blue snowflakes were hung on the walls, and green christmas trees were placed in every corner. It seemed like the decorations leaned more towards winter wonderland than the classic Christmas red and green, with blue and white garlands hung anywhere there was space. Students were dancing out on the floor, moving along to the beat of some Jay-Z song. Harry recognized Zayn and Gigi out on the floor, and had to stifle a laugh when he saw how horrible Zayn’s moves were. 

Louis handed their tickets to the chaperone, then took Harry’s hand in his own, and together, they walked out onto the dance floor as the song was ending. 

“Hey!” Liam said, coming up from behind Harry. Harry smiled, reaching out to hug Liam. His arm was still in a sling because of his shoulder, a reminder of what great friends Harry had. Liam hurt his shoulder trying to save Harry from Brandon, and if that wasn’t love, what is? “It’s been a while.” Liam said, patting Harry’s back with his free arm. 

“It has.” Harry agreed, catching sight of Maya and giving her a hug as well. 

Louis cleared his throat, catching the attention of all three teenagers. “If you excuse me, I’d like to have a dance with my date.”

Harry blushed. Louis passed Liam a small slip of paper, and before he could question it, Harry was being pulled onto the dance floor by an eager Louis, just as ‘I Gotta Feeling’ came on over the speakers. 

Harry grinned madly as he jumped around with Louis, listening to the song. Louis had no moves- he was jumping up and down, flailing his arms around madly. At the same time, it was this that Harry loved about him. His awkward charm, his sharp tongue, the way he didn’t care what the world thought about him. 

Before he knew it, the song was over, and it was replaced by another. He heard the soft plucking of a guitar in a familiar, comforting melody. His jaw dropped when he recognized the tune. He turned to Louis quickly, pointing. 

Louis grinned. “I gave a listen to those artists you like. Fleetwood Mac.” He explained. “I liked this one the best, and I figured you might too. So I had Liam put a request in.”

Harry smiled. “So that’s what the paper was.” He mused. 

Louis held a hand out. “I’d assume this is a slow dance.” He said. Harry giggled, taking Louis’ hand. They inched closer together, and Harry put his arm over Louis’ shoulder, and Louis gently placed a hand on Harry’s waist. They were so close, they could hear each other’s soft breathing.

“Well, I’m afraid of changing, ‘cause I’ve built my life around you,” Stevie Nicks crooned over the speakers. “But time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I’m getting older too.” 

They swayed back and forth like that for a while. Neither of them really knew how to slow dance, but it was nice to just stand, leaning back and forth, staring straight into each other’s eyes. The same eyes they fell in love with. 

Louis awkwardly tried to spin Harry around, which resulted in the boy’s crashing together. They accidentally bumped into another couple, and one of them shot the two boys a glare that had them stifling their laughter until they were out of sight. 

“Here,” Louis said, pulling Harry behind the bleachers. The two slumped against the walls as they laughed. “I come here during gym class sometimes.”

“So that’s why you’re never there.” Harry said. Louis laughed loudly. “Sorry,” he apologized. “Don’t,” Harry said. “I like it.”

Louis blushed, turning away so Harry wouldn’t see. 

Harry hesitated, wondering how he should bring the elephant in the room into their conversation.

“Louis,” He said suddenly. “Do you like me?”

Louis’ eyes widened as he answered quickly, “Well, of course I do, you’re my friend and all-”

“No,” Harry said, biting his lip in nervousness. “Do you like me, you know, as something more than a friend?”

Louis sighed, bowing his head. Yes, he had many talents, but the one thing he could never do was lie to Harry.

“Yes.” He admitted. “I’ve liked you for a long time. Since before I knew about you and Brandon, and I didn’t want to tell you because I thought it might’ve made things weird between us, and I didn’t want to ruin your recovery or anything.” He stopped his rambling, sighing heavily. “I get it if you hate me. I mean, I probably would.”

“What?” Harry cried. “No! No, of course not.”

Louis looked up at him, confused. “Really?” He asked, his long eyelashes fluttering slightly. 

Harry chuckled. “Kind of the opposite, really.” He said. “I like you too.”

Louis’s heart skipped a beat. He stared at Harry for a moment in shock, before turning his whole body to face him. “Wait, are you being serious?” He asked. 

Harry laughed, showing off his beautiful smile. “Of course.” He said. “I think I liked you before you knew about Brandon, too.”

Louis sighed with relief. He slumped back against the wall. “So, is that it?” He asked. 

Harry frowned. “Yeah, I guess.” He said. “That was kind of anticlimactic.”

Louis turned to him again. “Can I kiss you?” He asked shyly. 

Harry smiled. “Of course.” He answered. 

Louis nodded, smiling. He trembled as he leant in, nerves coursing throughout his body like electricity. He kept his focus on Harry, his emerald eyes, his soft pink lips. 

And, like magic, they were connected, and Louis could feel his heart aflutter, like butterflies. His knees felt like jelly, and he knew, just by instinct, that Harry felt the same. 

Eventually, they pulled back, out of breath, smiling. Harry giggled suddenly, and Louis did as well, the tension in the room feeling unbearably stiff. 

Smiling directly at each other, Louis reached out to place a hand behind Harry’s head, pulling him in again for another kiss, longer this time. Harry’s fingers caressed Louis’ cheek as their lips moved together in sync. Harry felt like he could’ve done that forever, feeling more love in one kiss with Louis than four years with Brandon. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Louis said quietly, their foreheads pressed together. 

Harry smiled. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, it finally happened! what do you think?


	30. Chapter Twenty Nine

It was currently the third day since Harry left for Holmes Chapel with his family, and Louis was bored out of his mind. Which, he shouldn’t be. 

He had his friends. The same friends he shared with Harry, the ones he’d known since he was a kid, so he shouldn’t be bored so long as he had them, right? Wrong. 

So, as they all listened to Niall tell one of his stories, Louis began to do what he did best- zone out. However, it wasn’t nearly as subtle as he thought. Zayn caught on quickly. 

“What’s wrong, Tommo?” He asked. 

“Nothing.” Louis muttered defensively. 

“Seriously, Lou, what’s wrong?” Niall asked. “You’re acting even more distant than usual.”

Louis shot him an angry look. “No, I’m just walking on sunshine right now, aren’t I?” He snapped. “Why don’t you just tell another one of your stories about your fake girlfriend? Huh, Niall?”

The whole group went silent at Louis’ outburst. “Louis, that was uncalled for.” Liam said. “Say you’re sorry.”

Louis sighed. “I’m sorry, Nialler.” He said. Niall rolled his eyes. “No, really,” Louis added. “I’m sorry, I’m just not feeling up to anything right now.”

“What’s the matter?” Gigi asked. “You haven’t been the same since the dance.”

And then it clicked. “Oh,” she said. “Sorry.”

Louis frowned. He was confused. Why should Gigi be sorry? Was there something he was missing? 

“It’s a crush, you’ll get over it.” Zayn said, patting his leg sympathetically. 

Oh. That’s what they thought. Louis smiled to himself, turning away so he could laugh inconspicuously. But of course, they caught it.

“What are you smiling about?” Liam asked, thoroughly confused. 

“It’s a bit more than a crush.” Louis admitted, making them all gasp. 

“Wait, what?” Gigi asked. “We need details!”

Louis sighed. He looked at all their faces, looking up at him. It made him smile, blushing a deep shade of pink. He still felt jitters just thinking about the dance.

“Well, we kissed.” He revealed. 

“Oh my God! Really?” Zayn asked. Louis nodded. “And, it wasn’t forced or anything, like, I told him I liked him- well, he asked me if I liked him first,” Louis corrected himself. 

“Wait, he knew?” Niall asked. 

“Yeah, he did. Just coincidence, I guess.” Louis mused. “Anyways, he told me he liked me too, and things kind of went from there.” 

\---

Harry and Louis walked up the stairs to Harry’s flat after Liam’s mum had dropped them off, hand in hand. They were both blushing a rosy shade of pink, and Harry kept glancing at their hands, as if he wanted to know if this was truly happening or not.

“If you need a reminder, this is real.” Louis remarked, making Harry giggle. 

“But what does this mean?” Harry asked, stopping so he could look right at Louis. “Does this make us, well, you know, a thing?”

Louis smiled, rubbing a circle over the back of Harry’s hand with his thumb. “Only if you want to be.” He promised. “Whatever you want.”

Harry giggled, blushing. “I want you to be my boyfriend.” He said. “Is that ok?”

Louis grinned. “That’s more than ok.” He said. “That’s all I’ve wanted for a long time.”

Harry smiled back, leaning down to connect his lips once again with Louis’. Louis practically melted into the kiss. He felt like he could get used to this, but at the same time, he didn’t truly believe their kisses would ever stop being full of sparks and excitement. 

Louis was the first to pull back. “Good night. Love.” He added. Harry smiled.

\---

“He had to leave the day after.” Louis told the group as they listened eagerly. “I went to say goodbye, and I got to kiss him when Anne wasn’t looking.”

“Why did that matter?” Maya asked. 

“He doesn’t want to tell her yet.” Louis explainer. “She’s protective of him, understandably.” They nodded in agreement. 

“What about your birthday?” Niall asked. “What did he have to say about that?”

Louis shifted uncomfortably. “I didn’t tell him.” He admitted. 

“What?” Liam asked. 

Louis shrugged. “I just didn’t want him to feel guilty for missing something that’s out of his control.” He justified. “It’s really not a big deal.”

They all shared a glance. Little did Louis know, they were already beginning to plot.

\---

Harry bit his lip nervously. He was sitting in the passenger seat of his mum’s car, outside his friend Will’s house. His mum and Will’s mum had made arrangements for Harry to meet up with his friends, and initially Harry had been excited. The last time he’d seen them was when he’d been at school the day Brandon had taken him.

But now, he was terrified. They hadn’t been told everything. They just knew he’d been kidnapped by a man he used to be in a relationship with. And Harry was desperately wondering what they thought of him now, and if they thought any less of him because of the circumstances.

“Hey,” Anne said. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s just Will, and Nick, and Hadyn. They were so worried this whole time, they’ve been dying to see you.” 

“What if there’s something to be afraid of?” Harry mumbled. Anne made a clicking noise with her tongue, softly, but audibly, as she reached across the car to place a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Darling,” she muttered. “Why are you scared? Tell me.”

Harry cleared his throat, looking up, directly out of the windshield. “I was at other schools before we came to Doncaster.” He started. “We were constantly moving around, never staying in the same place for more than a few months. At every one, they found out I was gay.” His voice broke a little as he shuddered at the memory. “Either I let it slip accidentally, or they just assumed. And at every one, they would just beat the shit out of me.”

Anne went silent. This was the first she was hearing of his brushes with bullies. 

“They called me-” Harry choked, “They called me faggot.” 

Anne pulled Harry in closer, holding him. “I’m so sorry, darling.” She murmured, rubbing his shoulder. “I promise that they won’t treat you like that. They’re your friends.”

He nodded. Taking a deep breath, he opened his door, and together, they walked up to the front door. Anne rang the bell, and they were promptly greeted by a very cheerful Mrs. Sweeney. Her eyes widened at the sight of Harry. 

“Harry!” She cried, looking him up and down. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”

He smiled awkwardly. “Me too.” He said, trying to relieve some of the tension.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to keep you from the boys, they’re just in the back room. They were going to play something to pass the time.” She said, beaming at Harry. 

He nodded, thanking her, before he stepped in, making his way through the familiar halls. He heard the chords of a piano coming from the back room, and he smiled to himself. 

He stood outside the door for a minute, listening to them singing. He couldn’t recognize the song, maybe they’d written it. They stopped, and he decided to make his entrance.

He clapped as he entered, smiling. “Bravo.” He said. 

Their eyes widened when they caught sight of him. “Harry!” Hadyn cried, running to throw his arms around his friend. Nick and Will followed him, and they all stood there, the boys all talking over each other to ask Harry questions, all the while smothering him with their hugs. 

“One at a time!” Harry laughed. They all broke away, quieting down. Harry smiled at them. “Wow.” He said. “I can’t believe it.”

“We can’t either.” Nick said. “We thought we;d never get to see you again.”

“Me too.” Harry said. “Me too.”

“We’re so happy you’re back.” Hadyn said. “It’s just- look at you! You’re so tall!”

Harry laughed. “Yeah.”

Will said nothing, staying silent as he teared up. “Hey, don’t cry,” Harry said, hugging him. “It’s alright now.”

“I missed you so much.” Will whispered. “We all did.”

Harry swallowed hard. “I missed you guys too.” He said. “I was wondering about you all the time.”

They broke apart. “You sounded great.” Harry told them. The boys glanced awkwardly amongst each other. 

“I hope you don’t mind.” Will said. “We started the band without you.”

Harry smiled, shaking his head. “I don’t mind at all.” He said, truthfully. “You sounded amazing, and I’m only here for the holidays, so it would be hard to try and work that out. Besides,” He added. “I’m in a band. In Doncaster.”

“Really?” Hadyn asked. Harry laughed. “Yeah!”

“You’ll have to tell us all about Doncaster.” Nick said. 

They all sat down as Harry recounted his stories. And as he sat with them, entertaining them with stories of his other friends, he couldn’t help but wonder why he’d been so scared.


	31. Chapter Thirty

Louis didn’t really expect his birthday to turn out like this. His friends always did something very out there for each other's birthdays, so he was expecting something to happen, just not this. 

Right after breakfast, when his mum and siblings gave him presents, they’d shown up at his door, suspicious smiles across all of their faces. With a little explaining, and a lot of talking over each other, they finally managed to tell Louis that they had a surprise for him that involved them taking his phone away from him and driving to London. Jokingly, he asked if he should put a blindfold on as well, and it would appear that they took it quite literally. 

So, there he was, sitting in the backseat of Zayn’s car, a bandana wrapped around his face, while they drove him off to God knows where. “Can I take this off?” He asked. 

“No, we’re almost there!” Niall said. 

“Then why do I need to wear it?” He asked. No one answered him. He sighed, leaning back into his seat. He was in between Gigi and Niall, and he remembered seeing Liam and Zayn get into the front seats, and he was pretty sure Maya was in the trunk. That, or she was sharing a seat with Liam. Neither sounded particularly safe. 

“Sure you’re going the right way?” Liam asked suddenly. Louis sighed. “You guys don’t even know where we’re going?” He asked. 

“We know where we’re going!” Zayn cried. 

“Then why did Liam-” Louis started, but a nudge in his side shut him up. “Hey!”

“Sorry!” Niall cried. “It wasn’t on purpose!”

“I don’t care, it hurt!” Louis said, swatting his hand in Niall’s general direction. “Hey, stop it!” Niall said, trying to move away from Louis. 

“Wait, I think we’re here.” Zayn said. Then, Louis heard a bunch of incessant whispering. Clearly, they were talking about something he wasn’t supposed to hear about yet. He felt the car come to a stop, and the familiar sound of a car door opening. He felt Niall leave his side, and Gigi as well. He groped around in the car for his seat belt, unbuckling it as fast as he could. 

“Here,” Gigi offered, grabbing Louis’ hand. “Thanks.” He said. She helped to pull him out of the car, and didn’t let go of his hand, even when he had both of his feet secure on the snowy ground. “I’m sorry, but I think your shoes are gonna get wet. It’s a bit of a walk.”

Louis chuckled in confusion. “What is this present?” He wondered aloud, resulting in awkward chuckles from his friends, mostly Niall. 

“Alright, let’s go.” Liam said. Gigi helped Louis to move around, and slowly, he felt the ground beneath him change from cold concrete to wet, snowy soil. The occasional blade of grass tickled his ankle where his trousers were pulled up, exposing the bare skin. He felt a chilly breeze blow across his face, making him shiver. And very faintly, despite his runny nose, he could smell earth, and mud, probably from melting snow. 

It was like having the blindfold on made him superhuman. It felt cool to be able to smell or feel things he would have never noticed otherwise. For example, he could hear the chirps of a bird in a tree above him, and the heavy breathing of his friends beside him. 

Suddenly, they stopped. “Alright, are you ready?” Maya asked. 

Louis smiled. “I’m not sure.” He laughed. “Should I be scared?”

“Eh, probably not, but you never know.” Niall said, pulling the blindfold off with extra gusto.

He blinked, letting his eyes adjust to the bright light. And once he focused, his jaw dropped upon seeing who was in front of him. 

“Harry!” He cried as his boyfriend wrapped his arms around him. Louis laughed, embracing Harry. He pressed a kiss to his curls, not sure what level of PDA was appropriate around their friends. 

“Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday!” Harry cried, batting Louis’ shoulder lightly. Louis shrugged, trying to gesture his reasonings with his hands. “I’m sorry,” He said, caressing the side of Harry’s face. “I didn’t want you to feel guilty for missing it.”

Harry blushed, grinning toothily. “Well, I’m not missing it now, am I?” He teased, laying his hand on Louis’ shoulder. Louis smiled at him, leaning down, connecting their lips. It was short, but still heated, their lip moving together, perfectly in sync. It was almost like they were made just to do this. Like they’d somehow known that they were designed to be perfect for each other. 

They broke apart upon hearing a small, yet intentional, cough come from behind them. They turned around to see their friends staring at them. All at once, everyone broke into giggles. 

“So, everyone is officially dating someone in the group, huh?” Maya asked. 

“All except Niall.” Louis said, grinning. “Sorry Niall, you’ll find someone someday.”

“I already have!” Niall cried, rolling his eyes. “Why don’t you believe me? I have a girlfriend.”

“Sure.” Louis patted him on the shoulder. 

“Anyways, I’m sure you two lovebirds have a lot to catch up on, so we’ll leave you be for a while.” Liam said, and the group began to walk away, giving Louis and Harry some space. 

“Hey, guys!” Louis called. They turned back around. “Thanks. This is the best present I could’ve asked for.”

They smiled at him, before moving away. He smiled at them as they walked towards the car. Suddenly, he felt something cold and wet hit the back of his neck. 

“Hey!” He cried as he whipped around to face Harry, who already had another snowball prepared to throw at Louis. Louis laughed, leaning down to scoop his own handful of snow, packing it into a ball, before aiming and throwing it at Harry. 

Harry stumbled back with the impact of the snowball hitting his shoulder. Louis rushed forward to wrap his arms around him, effectively pulling both of them onto the ground. Harry burst out laughing, trying to sit up, brushing the snow off of his shoulders. Louis sat up beside him, placing an arm around Harry’s shoulder.

Harry turned to look at him, smiling widely. “Is this good enough of a birthday?” He asked, and Louis could see the flash of nervousness in his green eyes. He leaned in for another kiss, pressing his lips against Harry’s soft, rosy pink ones. 

“It’s perfect.” He said. Harry smiled. “Happy Birthday, Lou.”


	32. Chapter Thirty One

There were many times in Anne’s life that she had to deal with the impossible. Her divorce, for instance. Trying to raise two kids by herself. Gemma’s broken arm. 

But nothing prepared her for the total shock she experienced when Harry was kidnapped. At first, she’d hoped that he’d run off to visit his friends. She’d phoned the neighbors and the mothers of Harry’s friends. After a couple hours, she called Gemma, telling her to come home immediately because she couldn't find her brother. 

They’d spent the weekend calling family, friends, anyone they could. Asking if he’d run to them for whatever reason. Asking if they’d seen him. Nobody had. 

Their friends would drive by, dropping off meals for the two. Anne was too exhausted to even think about cooking, or cleaning, for that matter. The house was in a constant state of mess, but she didn’t have the patience to care.

They’d reported it to the police. For weeks on end, the only thing they would hear was “No ma’am, we haven’t found anything yet.”

Christmas was a somber affair. Anne desperately wanted to try for Gemma, but both felt too numb to do anything about it. The presents stayed wrapped under the tree, a bottle of wine, usually reserved only for special occasions, was opened. They didn’t leave the house. They barely spoke to each other. They just sat on the couch together, holding each other close, like they were about to lose each other as well. She prayed that Harry was safe, wherever he was. She hoped he wasn’t hurt, and that he wasn’t terribly scared. She prayed for the best outcome. 

Two weeks after New Year’s, Anne went back to her job. Her coworkers offered their condolences and their help if it was ever needed. She thanked them profusely, thanking her lucky stars for having such great support. 

By the time Harry’s birthday rolled around, she started getting up early, fixing her hair and wearing makeup again. No more dragging herself out of bed. 

She almost broke when she got a phone call from Harry’s dad. He blamed her for the whole situation and claimed that he wanted full custody of Gemma. After a brief argument, he dropped it, and she heard nothing of custody again from him. 

She finally heard something from the police. Harry’s school uniform had been found, torn and stashed away beneath a bush outside of Manchester. It was drenched, frozen, but unmistakably his. WHen they returned it to her after examining it thoroughly, she’d held it up to her chest, wishing desperately she could wrap her arms around her son instead. They dragged the rivers nearby for a body, finding nothing. 

Her first real breakdown occurred when Gemma was off at school, thank god. She got so worked up after talking with an officer working on Harry’s case that the instant the call ended, she threw her glass against the wall, shattering it into a thousand pieces. It seemed like the perfect metaphor for her, as everything in her life came crashing down. She sobbed for an hour, not answering her phone. She was thoroughly exhausted, and she hadn’t slept properly since Harry disappeared. 

By the summer, no more evidence of Harry had been found. It was like he’d disappeared off the face of the earth. With nothing else to do, Anne was at her wit’s end. 

But life went on. She and Gemma readjusted to living by themselves. The Christmas presents were finally opened, months later, Harry’s bedroom door was closed, only to be opened when Anne needed a reminder of how he laughed, all the memories she’d had. Nothing stopped her from feeling like she’d failed. All she wanted was to see her children happy. She was a mother, it was only instinct. And now, she didn’t know where one of her children was, and she was trying desperately to push aside all her pain and grief to help the other with applications and getting through college. 

For two years, Gemma stayed in Holmes Chapel for college. But eventually, she tentatively told Anen that she was accepted into a university out of Cheshire. Anne had smiled and told her daughter that she was happy for her, because really, she was. 

And then, before she knew it, she was alone, at least five days out of the week. Gemma came on weekends to help, which was greatly appreciated by Anne. 

They managed to settle into a routine. After a couple years, they were almost back to normal. Minus Harry, of course. 

Come Christmastime, Anne no longer had to hide herself in her son’s room, reminiscing on all the good times. She still called the police every so often to hear if they knew anything, and they never did. 

She hated to admit it, but there was a point she’d reached where she felt like giving up. Four years had passed officially, and on December first, she couldn’t help but feel like there was not a chance that she’d ever see Harry again. 

Little did she know that the very next day, a teenage boy named Louis Tomlinson called Gemma, telling her that her brother was alive and hospitalized in Doncaster. 

And now, her Harry was back. He was a little shaky and anxious, but they were reunited, and nothing could ruin Anne’s happiness now. She was desperate to help Harry get better. 

She opened her eyes slightly after feeling a tap at her shoulder. “Hey, mum.” Gemma said softly. “Merry Christmas.” 

Anne rubbed her eyes, sitting up in bed. There sat Gemma by her side and Harry at the foot of the bed. She smiled at the sight. 

“We didn’t want to open presents without you.” Harry said. “Oh, thank you, dearies,” Anne said, getting up and reaching for her robe. “You’re too kind.”

They walked into the living room, and Anne got settled, watching her children open their presents. Harry had some that had been wrapped for four years, but his face lit up every time he saw what was inside. Some gifts Anne didn’t even remember getting, but he loved them all the same. 

He ran over and hugged her tightly. She rested her chin on his shoulder. “I love you, Mum.” He whispered, as if it were a secret. 

Her eyes brimmed with tears. “I love you too, darling.” She said. 

And she felt so, so happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, so i just wanted to write a sweet, short christmas chapter. i decided to give you all a look of the past years from anne's perspective. 
> 
> please, tell me what you thought, and i'm always open to constructive criticisms if you have any.
> 
> love you all


	33. Chapter Thirty Two

Louis drove slowly, scanning the houses in the neighborhood to be sure of where he was going. If his memory served him right, he was in the right place. He glanced down at his phone, scanning the photo Harry sent him of the outside of his house. Looking up, he saw it. He smiled, pulling over to park. 

It was chilly when he stepped outside. Which, for the end of December, didn’t come as a surprise to him. He did wish he’d worn a little more than just his jacket and sweater, though. 

He could see his breath in front of his face, and he could faintly hear the loud music and sounds of parties. It gave him a twinge of guilt to hear it, but he hoped that his mum bought that he hadn’t felt well, and that was why he wasn’t at her New Year’s party. Little did she know that her son was in a town two hours away at nearly midnight. He silently prayed that the lock on his door would hold. 

He tried his hardest to walk around the side of the house, not making a noise. The house was dark inside, but he didn’t want to take his chances and risk waking up Anne or Gemma.

He came to a window, and he peered in, squinting to see whose room it was. There was a bed right under the window, and he saw Harry lay there, eyes wide open to keep himself from sleeping. Louis smiled, tapping the window softly. Harry sat up, smiling and waving to Louis as he tried to open the window. 

“You made it!” Harry cried softly once he’d pried the window open. Louis nodded, teeth chattering. “Sure did.” He whispered. Harry leaned forward, extending his hands for Louis to grab. Louis hooked one hand on the windowsill and used the other to grab Harry’s outstretched arms. He pulled himself up onto the windowsill, tumbling into the room and onto the bed. Harry giggled as Louis nearly fell off the side, and Louis quickly shushed him, eyes widened. 

“We don’t want your mum to hear!” He whispered frantically. Harry giggled again. “Don’t worry, she’s out of the house.” He said, closing the window. “Gemma too, they’re at a friend’s party. I just told them I didn’t want to go.”

Louis sighed with relief. “Then why did I have to crawl through the window? You could’ve let me in through the door!” He exclaimed, laughing. Harry shrugged. “It’s more fun this way.” 

Louis sighed, shaking his head. “We haven’t had much time to talk,” he said, “and we still have about seven minutes til midnight.” He shifted so he could face Harry. “Wanna talk?”

Harry nodded. “What do you want to talk about?” he asked Louis, who shrugged in response. “I don’t know.” Louis said. “How long do you want to keep this hidden.”

Harry hesitated. “I’m not sure.” He said. “I just don’t want my mom to know for a while. I don’t know how she’ll react, given my past relationship.” He traced his finger over Louis’ thumb. “You could probably tell your mum, though.”

Louis scoffed. “Are you kidding? She’d tell Anne within minutes of finding out. She wouldn’t keep a secret like that.” He held Harry’s hand, squeezing it slightly and rubbing circles over the back of Harry’s hand with his thumb. “Besides,” he added, “it feels kind of special. Just keeping in between you and I, at least for a while. No one has to know.”

“Well, except Niall, Liam, Maya, Zayn and Gigi.” Harry joked. Louis chuckled. “I had to tell them,” he said, “they’ve been rooting for us to get together ever since they found out I had a crush on you.”

“How long ago was that?” Harry asked, smiling. “Let’s see,” Louis hummed, “about ever since I saw you for the first time.”

“You’re kidding.” Harry said. Louis shook his head. “I’m not,” he said. “You’re just that beautiful.” Harry blushed. 

Louis checked the clock. “There’s about thirty seconds left.” He warned Harry. 

“I’ve never had a midnight kiss before.” Harry said. 

“Well, neither have I.” Louis said. “We can be each other’s first.” Louis smiled at the thought, knowing there would be several firsts he’d love to share with Harry. Maybe not for a while, but eventually. They glanced at the clock, and saw that it was finally midnight. Smiling at each other, they leaned in to meet each other’s lips. Louis placed his hand on the side of Harry’s cheek, cupping his face and feeling the soft skin beneath his fingers. Their lips moved together, feeling soft and perfectly divine to the boys. It was a feeling Louis never wanted to get used to.

“That was nice,” Harry said breathlessly after they’d pulled apart. Louis nodded in agreement, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Well, we had our midnight kiss.” Louis said, awkwardly twisting the sheets with his hands. “I should probably get back home before my mum finds out.” 

“Wait,” Harry said, catching Louis’ hand just as Louis moved to open the window. “Can you stay a little while? Just a few minutes?”

“Sure,” Louis said. “What do you want to do?”

Harry shrugged. “We could cuddle.” He suggested. 

Louis smiled. “That sounds like a good idea.” They shifted around so they could face each other, holding each other in their arms. And even though Louis didn’t want to, the soft sounds of Harry’s breathing and the warm blanket covering him lulled him asleep.

\---

“Louis! Wake up!” Harry hissed, pulling the blanket off of the both of them. Louis blinked, adjusting his eyes to the bright light filling the room. “We fell asleep! It’s almost six!”

Louis shot up in bed, suddenly realizing. “Shit!” He cried. 

Harry bustled around, opening the window for Louis. “You’ve gotta get home!” He cried, Louis nodding frantically. 

As soon as the window was opened, Louis slipped out, falling clumsily to the ground. “Bye!” He cried. Harry held out his hand, and Louis took it, squeezing it slightly before he ran to his car, just as he heard Anne come into the room, saying, “Good morning, Harry! Did you sleep well?”

Louis slammed the door as he got back into the car. Maybe, if he drove fast enough, his mum would believe that he woke up early and went for a drive. 

He prayed that if there was any luck to come with the New Year, it would be on his side.


	34. Chapter Thirty Three

Luckily for Louis, his mum believed his story about going out for an early morning drive and getting lost. The box of donuts he’d picked up on his way back helped to convince her. She didn’t actually find out until many years later, on another New Year’s Eve, when Louis and Harry spilled the secret over a glass of wine or two. She was shocked, to say the least, but there wasn’t actually anything she could do about it. 

But, back in the present, Louis was very excited. Because today was the day that Harry would be coming back to Doncaster, and they didn’t have to sneak out to meet halfway between two cities just to spend time together. In fact, Harry’s mum found a flat closer to Louis’ house, which both boys were immensely grateful for. 

Especially Louis. He couldn’t wait. In fact, he was so excited, he kept checking out the window of his kitchen, searching for Harry, because the boy had promised him that he would come visit him as soon as he had time. Which should be around now. Harry texted him about an hour ago to say they were halfway to Doncaster, which meant they should have arrived around now. Either way, Louis had been glancing out the window for over twenty minutes, tapping his foot on the tiled flooring of the kitchen. 

“Louis, calm down, he’ll be here soon enough,” Lottie said from her seat at the table, where she was trying to read, peering up at Louis every so often just to judge him. 

“Shut up, Lottie,” He griped. She glared at him, closing her book and walking out of the room. He cursed himself for not being kind to her, but he could always apologize for it later. Right now, he was too eager for Harry to arrive and he just didn’t have the patience for his little sisters teasing. Especially since he didn’t want them to figure out somehow that he and Harry were together. Once they figured out, either they’d tell on him or they would use it as dirt against him, and neither was a situation Louis wanted. 

He sighed, checking his phone. Again, only adding to his frustration, there were no new notifications. After a minute or two more of waiting, he sighed, giving up and retreating to his bedroom. 

Eventually, though, the bell rang. He shot up from his bed as quickly as he could, running past Phoebe to get to the door first. He opened it, almost running into Harry and knocking him over, and promptly shut it behind him. 

“Ok,” Harry laughed as Louis caught his breath. “You’re excited to see me.” Louis nodded, not even bothering to deny it, before throwing his arms around Harry, taking the younger boy by surprise. “I missed you.” Louis said breathlessly, squeezing Harry. 

“I saw you three days ago.”

“And those were three very long days.”  
“Oh, Lou,” Harry sighed, reaching out to ruffle Louis’ fringe with his fingers. Louis squirmed away at the touch, giggling. “I missed you too.”

Louis smiled, grasping Harry’s hand. “Do you want to go over to your flat for a while?” He asked Harry, who shook his head. “Why don’t we just walk around for a while?” He suggested. 

“Ok.” Louis grinned, “Sounds fun.” They clasped hands, walking down to the sidewalk, not caring where they went. It was an overcast day, chilly, and they could see their breath in front of their faces, littles puffs of warm breath into the frosty air. Snow was melting in the gutters, giving Louis a warm feeling inside. He always loved when winter was ending and spring would begin, although he knew the slightly warmer weather wouldn’t last forever, and a cold storm would likely blow in before the end of January. 

“So,” he remarked, swinging their hands between them as they walked along the pavement. Their cheeks were tinged a bright shade of pink by the chilly wind, making them even more grateful for the jackets they wore, keeping them warm as possible. “Are you excited to go back to school?” 

Harry sighed. “I guess?” He said, doubting his own answer. “I mean, I don’t really know what to expect. I’m just glad people won’t be talking about it.”

“Yeah, we made sure they didn’t know everything.” Louis said, tightening his grasp on Harry’s had slightly, to remind him that he was there. “Don’t be worried, there’s nothing to be scared of.”

Harry chuckled. “I guess so.” He paused, stopping in his tracks. Louis, still holding hands with Harry, felt himself being pulled back at the sudden halt, feeling almost as if his arm was about to be ripped off. “What’d you stop for?” He cried, laughing and rubbing his sore shoulder. 

Harry pointed. “Look at how tall that tree is.” He said, smiling at his discovery. Louis chuckled a little. He loved how Harry somehow found a way to be amazed by the things other people would’ve just taken for granted. He turned to Harry, a smirk on his face. “Do you wanna try and climb it?” He asked. A gleam of wild mischief flickered in Harry’s green eyes. He nodded eagerly, bolting to the base of the tree, Louis right behind him. 

It took them a while, but they managed to find a way to climb up. Harry went up first, Louis spotting him in case he slipped and fell, and he hooked his hands and feet in the knotholes in the bark. He pulled himself higher and higher until he reached a limb, where he sat down to rest. Louis looked up at him, hooking his fingers into the first knothole and pulling himself up with all the strength he had. He kept his focus on pulling himself up the tree, one knothole at a time, and all the while Harry cheered him on. When he reached where Harry was sitting, the green eyed boy clapped, smiling at their achievement. 

“It’s a pretty view from up here.” He commented, looking down at the ground while Louis caught his breath. Louis nodded his head in agreement, smiling. “Sure is,” he said. 

He couldn’t help but think of how lucky he was. Seeing Harry like this, rosy cheeked and the light catching in his green eyes, looking so beautiful, Louis knew he was the luckiest boy in the world. Harry was the single most beautiful person he knew, not to mention the kindest, smartest, and most loving soul there was. He wished he had a camera, something to remember this moment by. 

Suddenly, he had an idea. He dug around in his pockets, groping around for what he had in mind. “What are you doing?” Harry laughed. 

“Well, you know that thing where people write their names in trees?” Louis asked. Harry nodded eagerly. “You want to carve our names?” Harry asked, blushing. 

“Well, no, I don’t have a knife.” Louis said, making a small ‘aha’ noise when he found what he had been looking for. “So I had a different idea.”

He held up a marker in his hand. Harry smiled, scanning the area around them for a place to write. When he found one, he pointed it out to Louis, who uncapped the marker, proceeding to write in thick black letters, ‘Harry + Louis.’ 

He handed the marker to Harry, who drew a heart around the names. Louis ran a finger over their names, marked on top of the wood. “They look good together,” He commented, and Harry agreed. 

“What do you say we go back to mine?” Harry offered. “I could make hot chocolate.”

Louis smiled. “That sounds lovely. But first, I wanted to ask,” he said, grabbing Harry’s hand, caressing it softly. “Would you want to go on a date with me?” He asked nervously. “A proper one, not just going on a walk, like out to dinner and everything?”

Harry smiled. “Yes, that sounds lovely.” He said, blushing. Louis grinned. “Great,” he said. 

“Now, let’s get some hot chocolate.” Harry said, grinning.


	35. Chapter Thirty Four

Louis’ hand brushed Harry’s as they walked together, side by side. Harry smiled, glancing down at their hands. He grabbed Louis’ hand, intertwining their fingers. “We’re allowed to do this, you know,” He said. 

“I know,” Louis said. “I just don’t want to do anything without your permission.”

“Well, you have my permission,” Harry said. “Besides, I’ve done things far beyond holding hands, you’re not going to upset me.”

Louis glanced over at Harry, slightly concerned. Harry seemed so nonchalant about everything he’d gone through, surely that couldn’t really be the case. But he guessed it was best for Harry to set his own boundaries, and as long as Louis had Harry’s consent, he figured it would be alright. 

They were walking along the street in the evening light. It took a bit of convincing on Harry’s part to get Anne’s permission to go out, but she’d agreed, seeing nothing inherently wrong with a “friendly” dinner. Louis would’ve liked to go somewhere fancy, treat Harry to an expensive dinner. However nice the thought seemed, Harry pointed out that taking a “friend” to an expensive restaurant would surely raise a couple red flags to their mums. Instead, they’d opted to go to Nando’s on the other side of town, just in case anyone hung around to see. They’d taken the bus, and now they were walking the rest of the way. 

The city lights looked beautiful in the misty glow of the sunset. The sky was dimming and was gradually growing darker. It was very beautiful.

The neon signs of the various shops they passed glowed at them cheerfully, the lights from within illuminating the grocery aisles and glass counters, waiters bustling around and wiping down tables, bringing customers their food. 

“There it is,” Louis smiled, pointing. Harry smiled. 

They walked up to the restaurant, and Louis held the door open for Harry. The younger boy smiled as he walked in, his hands in the pocket of his new jacket, a Christmas present from Gemma. He looked great, really, he did. Now that he wasn’t wearing dirty clothes or shoes that were too big or too small for him, he seemed different. Fresher, happier. 

They walked up to the counter, and Louis helped him order. Harry glanced out of the shop window as Louis talked to the cashier. 

Louis felt a tug on his sleeve, and he glanced at Harry, who was looking out the window. “What if we ate in the park?” He asked. “Like a picnic?”

Louis smiled, turning back to the man behind the counter. “Can we get that to go?” He asked. 

Fifteen minutes later, they were sitting on a bench together in the park across from Nando’s, eating their chicken and talking. They watched the sun dipping down towards the horizon line, its golden light cast on the lake in front of them. Louis always remembered coming down to the lake in the summertime. His mum used to bring him here when he was little, and he’d always bring his friends here to hang out. But there was something different about it now, something romantic. Wintry magic worked its spell on the scene, making everything beautiful and chilling the boys to the bone.

“It’s cold,” Louis chuckled. 

“Do you wanna go back in?” Harry asked, genuinely concerned. Louis smiled, wrapping an arm around Harry. “No,” he answered, pressing a kiss to the top of Harry’s head. “This was a great idea. And I'm so happy we’re here.” He smiled sweetly at his boyfriend. “I love you.”

Harry blinked at him, once, then twice. Suddenly, he smiled brightly. “I love you too,” he told Louis. “That’s the first time we’ve said that,” he chuckled, breathless.

“Yeah,” Louis said, his thumb tracing over Harry’s cheekbone. “But it’s true. You know that, right?”

“Of course,” Harry said. “I’ll always believe you.”

Maybe that wasn’t such a good thing, but Louis didn’t mind the sentiment. It was a touching moment, and Louis wasn’t going to let anything ruin it. Not the cold, not the past, not anything. 

“Do you believe in fate?” Harry asked suddenly. 

“What do you mean?” Louis asked, making Harry shrug. “I don’t know,” He said. “Like, we’re meant to find the one our whole lives. Like we’re made to love this one person.”

“Like a soulmate?” Louis asked.

“Yeah,” Harry said, taking another bite of chicken. “I kind of think you might be mine,” He said softly, pursing his lips. Louis grinned toothily, flashing perfect white teeth. He leaned down, nuzzling noses with Harry. “I think you’re mine,” he said, making Harry blush. 

“But isn’t it weird?” Harry asked. “If all of what happened to me never did, we wouldn’t have met.”

Louis arched a brow, cocking his head. “I’m not sure,” he smiled. “It’s a two hour drive between us, we surely would’ve crossed paths somehow. Maybe,” he said, tapping the tip of Harry’s nose, “you could have driven through Doncaster, and your car broke down, and I’d be there to help you.”

Harry snorted. “I can’t drive,” he laughed. Louis shrugged. “Just imagine,” he insisted. “I would’ve thought you were too cute to let go of without asking for your number.”

“You’re sweet.” Harry smiled. “The water’s beautiful.” He pointed, the many colors of the park reflected in icy cold water. “Like a kaleidoscope.”

“What?” Louis asked.

“You know, like one of those toys where they have all the beads in the lense?” Harry asked, gesturing with his hands. “Like a telescope, but just colorful patterns- like a rainbow, kinda.”

“I think I’ve seen one of those,” Louis remarked. “Think my grandfather had one once.”

“I used to have one when I was a kid.” Harry commented. “I’d just play with it for hours. The colors were pretty.”

“I know something else that’s pretty,” Louis smiled cheekily. “Well, someone.”

Harry blushed, leaning his cheek against Louis’ hand as he leaned forward, kissing him gently. Louis’ hands cupped his face as their lips moved together. He wasn’t sure if fate was really a thing, but he’d meant it when he said he thought Harry was his soulmate. If he wasn’t, then why did this just feel perfect, like he was made exactly for kissing Harry?

“Well, look who we have here,” an ominous voice said suddenly. “Fancy seeing you again, Harry.”


	36. Chapter Thirty Five

Harry whipped around, immediately recognizing the voice. His heart raced a million miles a minute as he laid eyes on the tall figure in front of him, swallowing his fear amidst the lump in his throat. A face he hadn’t seen in a long time, but still so frightful, lips curled up into a smug smirk as he stepped closer to the two boys on the bench, his friend close behind him. 

“Harry Phillips, in the flesh,” Trent Greene mused, “so you were a faggot all along.”

Harry said nothing, frozen with terror. The same face who taunted him throughout his freshman year of high school, who beat him in the corridors along with all his friends, was here, right in front of him, still scaring him out of his wits. 

“Don’t say that to him!” Louis cried, throwing an arm in front of Harry, shielding him. 

“Is this your little boyfriend?” Trent asked, laughing as he pointed in Louis’ face. Louis, at this point, had turned a very bright shade of pink, flushed with anger. “Say, who’s the lady?”

“None of your business,” Louis snapped. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I don’t care much,” Trent said haughtily. “But this will be a story to tell. You liked it up the ass this whole time, Phillips.”

Harry rose up, taking a step back. “You can’t say that to me,” he warned, but his voice was low, barely more than a whisper. It sounded kinda pathetic, really. 

Trent gestured around with his arms. “Who’s stopping me?” He asked, cocking a brow. “Nobody’s here. Nobody could hear you scream if, say, my mate and I here decided to teach fags like you a lesson.”

Harry swallowed hard, his blood running cold through his veins. He glanced over at Louis, who’d locked eyes with the other bloke behind Trent. His boyfriend looked at the guy so sadly, but the other guy shied away, looking in the other direction. “Let’s go, Haz,” Louis announced, reaching protectively for Harry’s hand. Harry grasped it tightly, holding on for strength. They started to walk away, leaving the wrappers and paper bags on the bench, scared to walk back in the direction of the two other guys. 

“Wait just a minute,” Trent said, running up behind them. They kept walking, holding onto each other’s hand even tighter. “Hey, don’t walk away, we just wanna have some fun with you.”

Suddenly, Louis fell by Harry, pulling them both into the dirt streaked slush, getting their clothes wet as they scrambled back up to their feet. “What the fuck, man?” Louis screamed, pushing Trent back after the bloke shoved him into the snow. 

“Louis!” Harry cried, running after him, grabbing at his back. Trent dodged Louis’ fists, but one punch successfully hit his cheekbone, drawing blood. He cried out in pain as a drop of blood beaded at the cut, his gloved hand reaching up to dab at the wound. Louis swung his arm back for another blow, but Harry caught it, pulling him away. 

Trent’s friend also pulled him back, keeping him from charging at Louis as he ran with Harry, back down the streets. They didn’t stop running until they reached the bus stop they came on, coming to a halt and gasping for air. 

“Who was that?” Louis asked, still breathing in deeply.

Harry’s chin trembled as he answered, “He was a senior when I was a freshman in high school.” He swallowed, tears springing to his eyes. “I don’t know why he started hating me, but he just did. And he had friends,” he cried, “and they’d all take turns, like I was a punching bag.”

Louis cried out, a gasping sound made as he took in a deep breath, wrapping his arms around Harry. “I’m sorry, baby.” He said. “That was not how I wanted our first date to go.”

“It’s fine,” Harry said. “Just scary. I thought he was going to hurt you. Did he?” He asked frantically, eyes scanning every inch of Louis, checking for injury.

“I’m fine, don’t worry,” Louis said. “A little shaken and dirty, but I’m fine. You?” Harry nodded. Louis sighed in relief. 

“Thank God,” he said breathlessly. They sat down on the bench, shaking as they held each other’s hand. 

“Louis?” Harry asked, turning to his boyfriend. “Who was that other guy?” Louis glanced at him. “Why?” He asked. 

“You were looking at him weirdly.” Harry explained. Louis sighed, pursing his lips. “That was Nick.” He answered. 

“What?” Harry asked, eyes widened. “Why would he do that?”

Louis shrugged, tears brimming his eyes. “I don’t know,” he said. “Who knows what’s going on in his mind?” He wiped angrily at his eyes. “But it’s fine. He’s made his own decisions, I won’t let that influence mine,” he said. “Besides, he doesn’t matter to me anymore. I stopped caring about him a long time ago.” He turned to Harry. “I care about you now. I always will.”

Harry nodded, wrapping his arms around Louis, hugging him until the bus came by. And even then, they sat in the same seat, holding each other during the drive through the whole of Doncaster. They resolved to be truthful if they were asked about it. 

When they stepped through, they were smiling, trying to lighten the mood. “Are you back, Harry?” Anne called, stepping in from the kitchen. 

“Yeah,” He said, removing his scarf from around his neck. Anne smiled. “Thanks for dropping him off, Louis, you’re a dear,” she beamed at the blue eyed boy. He smiled back at her. “No problem,” he said. “It was nice. We talked a lot.”

Harry shared a sideways glance at his boyfriend. “That’s lovely,” Anne said, grinning. “Did you have a good time, darling?” Harry nodded. “Of course,” he grinned. 

“Why don’t you thank Louis then?” She prompted. He glanced over at Louis, suppressing a sly smirk. “Thank you very much, Louis, for taking me out to dinner,” he said. Louis almost giggled as Harry stuck out his hand, but he shook it anyways, cracking a grin. 

“It was my pleasure,” he said cheekily, angling his face so he could wink at Harry without Anne knowing. “Next time, pal,” he waved, walking out and closing the door behind him. 

Anne sighed in content. “You’re so lucky to have such great friends,” she remarked, wrapping an arm around Harry. He smiled. “Yeah, I am,” he said, not bothering to hide his smile.


	37. Chapter Thirty Six

Louis wasn’t going to lie, the fight following their date had really shaken him up. Nobody had ever been so blatantly disgusted by him. Sure, he’d gotten the side eye once in a while when he would go out in public on a date, holding a boy’s hand or kissing their cheek. But that he could ignore. He could live with that. 

Trent hadn’t even bothered to hide it. It was the first time Louis had ever been called that. Even he hated the word, he didn’t use it. He got that some people took back the word, and he thought that could be powerful. But hearing Trent spit it out, cursing him and Harry, that really messed with Louis. 

Needless to say, he stuck by Harry the next couple of days. He’d get up in the morning, chat with his mum and sisters a bit over dinner, and then he’d walk a couple of blocks to Harry’s place, hanging out with him most of the day. And even in the night, he’d message Harry over his phone, late hours. He lost a bit of sleep over this, but he didn’t mind. He just liked knowing that Harry was safe. 

Harry, on the other hand, didn’t seem to be bothered very much by the experience. Maybe it was just because he’d gone through it before. He’d already come to terms with the simple fact that people were going to hate him for no reason. And for the most part, he was fine with that. He’d just live his life how he wanted unbothered. Louis really admired that in him. 

And now, the time had come to return to school. Harry was unbelievably nervous. He knew that the kids at school knew he’d been in hospital. As far as they knew, he’d broken his wrist. The cast on his wrist made the story believable, as frustrating as it was to wear it. He couldn’t wait to have it removed, which would happen in a couple of weeks. He had a doctor’s appointment to examine it soon. 

But that was all speculation. Right now, Louis was accompanying him to school, walking the whole way with him. Their fingers intertwined, Harry couldn’t help but smile at Louis’ touch. This was what he wanted. To feel loved without the pain, be affectionate, not scared. Now, he realized that he would have never had this with Brandon. 

“Alright,” Louis said, grinning, swinging their arms between the pair. “You ready?”

Harry smiled. “I guess,” he chuckled as he walked forward, hand in hand with Louis. The school seemed bigger than it ever did, but he knew he was safe. The faces in the hallways were familiar and smiling, waving hello. He smiled back, waving at them. 

He sank down in his seat in the homeroom, sighing as he set his backpack down beside him. Louis sat at the desk beside him, and the rest of the boys moved from their seats, sitting around them.

“Hey,” Liam smiled. “How are you?”

“I’m pretty fucking fantastic, thanks for asking,” Louis remarked snidely, making Harry laugh. “I’m doing well,” he told Liam. “Still recovering, but I’m doing better.”

“That’s good,” Niall said. “It’s nice to see you now. You seem a lot happier.”

Harry glanced over at Louis, sharing a knowing glance. Harry giggled a little, not unnoticed by the other three boys. But they stayed quiet, letting the couple have their moment. After all the drama of the past school year and Harry’s relationship with Brandon, they deserved their peace and happiness. They would do the same for anyone of the boys and their girlfriends. And even if they didn’t, it was kinda cute to watch them have their shared moments.

“So, excited for school? You missed a bit last time,” Zayn said, and Harry raised his eyebrows, nodding. “Yeah, a bit nervous, to be honest,” He said. “I feel like everyone’s watching me. Like they know,” he added, biting his lip nervously. 

“Don’t worry,” Louis comforted him, “Nobody knows. And even if they did, the kids here aren’t like Trent. They won’t talk about you like that.”

“Who’s Trent?” Niall asked.

“A dick,” Louis said without thinking, “he crashed our date.” Harry swatted at his arm, and Louis’ eyes widened, realizing his mistake. 

“What?” Liam exclaimed. “What happened?”

“Nothing, nothing happened,” Harry said quickly. 

“Don’t lie,” Niall said. “Listen, if something happened, you can tell us. We’re the last people who are going to judge you.”

The boys nodded. Harry took a deep breath, exhaling. “One of my old bullies showed up,” he explained. “For real this time. We weren’t hurt,” he added, seeing their worried faces. “But it was really scary.”

“Nick was with him,” Louis added. The boys all blinked, their faces full of concern. “I didn’t like him before, but I think I hate him now,” he said quietly. 

“That makes two of us,” Zayn said. “I’m so sorry that happened. That fucking sucks.”

“Yeah, it did,” Harry said. “And it just-” he stammered, trying to find the words. “We were just so happy, it felt so good to just be with each other.”

Louis sighed, wrapping his arm around Harry. He rubbed his shoulder soothingly, smiling weakly as the younger boy looked up at him. “But we’re fine,” Harry said. “And we’ll be fine.”

“Great,” Niall said. “As long as you aren’t hurt.”

Harry smiled. “Anyways, there was something I’ve been meaning to ask, and I’m not sure if it crosses a line or not,” he said, looking around at all four of the boys sitting around him. He smiled nervously, biting his bottom lip. “About the band,” he said slowly, teasingly, “is your offer still available.”

Louis grinned. “Of course!” He cried. “Mates, looks like we’ve got a new member!”

They clapped, and Harry couldn’t help but grin as he looked around at them. He’d missed this. And maybe, even if things wouldn’t go back to how they were before, they could still readjust. After all, he had five best friends, the sweetest boyfriend on the planet, and his family, who still loved him after all these years. Life was going pretty great. 

He just hoped it wasn’t too soon to say that.


	38. Chapter Thirty Seven

“Are you sure this is safe?” Louis asked, following Harry into his house. 

“Relax, my mum’s not going to be home for a while.” Harry reassured him, pulling him by the hand into the empty house. It was early on a Friday afternoon, and they’d gone straight from school to Harry’s place, under the guise of hanging out. Their mums were both told Louis would be at Harry’s house, so it wasn’t like they were breaking any rules. 

Besides, it was almost their one month anniversary, and they wanted to spend a little extra time together. And it wasn’t like they were going to sleep together or anything. Louis wasn’t sure he was ready for that yet, or Harry, however often he liked to joke about it. He just wanted to be sure that Harry was safe with whatever they did. 

“So, what do you want to do?” Harry asked, setting his backpack down on the floor. Louis glanced around the living room. The furniture was sparse, mostly foldable chairs and a table, but there was a couch, not too lavish, most likely a cheap set from the thrift shop. Louis sighed, thinking. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “It still feels a little weird to be sneaking around like this.”

Harry laughed a little. “Don’t worry,” he said, “we’re not sneaking around. My mum trusts us.”

“Would she trust us if she knew you had a boyfriend over when she wasn’t home?” Louis muttered, to no response from Harry. “Do you want a snack?” He asked Louis, walking over to the kitchen cabinets and pulling out two glasses. “I think there’s some juice in the fridge.”

“That sounds good,” Louis mused, walking over with a smile on his face. Harry glanced up at Louis as he poured the juice into two different glasses. He slid one over in Louis’ direction, and Louis smiled as he picked up the cup with his hand, tipping it towards Harry before raising it to his lips, almost as if he was giving a toast. Harry giggled at the action, and Louis couldn’t help but beam at his boyfriend. 

One thing he’d noticed ever since they got together was how Harry. More relaxed, less worried about everything. Louis had wondered if he’d ever acted this way around Brandon, but that thought was quickly extinguished. He couldn’t have. And Louis didn’t just think that because he was jealous or something, but every time Brandon’s name was dropped in conversation by somebody other than himself, he would glance around the room. He got scared. Harry kept insisting that he had been in a relationship with Brandon, but Louis just couldn’t understand how someone could hold so much fear inside and mistake it for love. 

“So,” Harry mused. “What’s on your mind?”

“Well, I was planning our second date,” Louis lied, pursing his lips. “To make up for the first. I was thinking about maybe taking you to one of those posh places uptown, what do you say?” He joked slyly, smirking. 

Harry grinned, but Louis watched as his cheeks became tinged with pink as he blushed. Clearly, the thought of a nice, posh dinner intrigued Harry. Valentine’s Day was around the corner; Louis would have to count up his money and see what he could do. 

“Wanna go somewhere else?” Harry asked. “I have a couple board games in my bedroom.”

Louis smiled. “Yeah, sounds nice,” he said, and Harry reached for his free hand, pulling him into the hallway. He let go of his hand to open the door to his bedroom, leaving it open, like there actually was a parent there. He set his juice down on his desk, sitting back on the bed. 

“So,” he shrugged. “What do you wanna do?” 

Louis sat down beside Harry, thinking. “Well, we could play cards,” he said, “but that’s not much fun. There has to be risk. Or a good prize,” he added. 

Harry arched a brow. “What sort of prize?” He asked, amused. 

Louis grinned cheekily. “I don’t know,” he said slyly. “Maybe a kiss.”

Harry sighed. “Just kiss me if you want to,” he said, leaning in to connect their lips together. Louis smiled against Harry’s mouth, reaching up a hand to cup Harry’s cheek, tracing his fingers along the soft pink skin. 

It was an addiction that Louis wasn’t quite sure he wanted to break. Harry’s lips were just so soft, like velvet, and he tasted sweet, the sweet tang of the juice still on his tongue. Louis closed his eyes, sighing as he continued to make out with Harry. 

At one point, Harry moved, straddling Louis’ lap as they kissed passionately. Louis kept his hands up, one on Harry’s shoulder and the other on his cheek, but he had to admit, there was a side of him that he’d never felt before, tempted to let his fingers trail down Harry’s side, resting on his waist. 

“Oh my god.”

Both boy’s heads whipped towards the door. Gemma stood in the doorway, a hand covering her mouth, but both boys could see how brightly she was grinning. “Harry,” she started, laughing shakily, “what the hell?”

Harry quickly scrambled off of Louis, standing on his own feet. “I knew you had something going on!” Gemma cried suddenly, pointing a finger between the both of them. “You wouldn’t tell me but I knew.”

“Gemma, what the fuck are you doing here?” Harry asked. “You’re supposed to be at Uni.”

“I decided to drop in for a weekend visit,” she explained. “Got here a minute ago. A bit surprised you didn’t hear, actually,” she added, “but I’m more surprised that you have a boy here without Mum finding out.” 

“Mum knows Louis’ here!” Harry said frantically. She arched an eyebrow? “Does she know you’re making out with Louis? In your bedroom, no less,” she teased. To be completely honest, it came off as a bit threatening to Louis. 

“Please don’t tell Mum,” Harry pleaded. She looked confused. “Why? S’ her own fault really, if she lets you have your boyfriend over while she’s not here,” she said. 

Harry pursed his lips. “Holy shit!” Gemma cried, her jaw dropping. “She doesn’t know.”

Harry sighed, nodding. “Yeah, she doesn’t,” he said, sitting down beside Louis. His hand reached out for Louis’, and Louis took it within his own, intertwining their fingers. 

Gemma still looked shocked. “Harry, you’ve gotta tell her,” she said, all jokes and teasing aside. Suddenly, she spoke with such seriousness, Louis wasn’t sure if this was the act or if earlier was. 

“No!” Harry cried. “We just want to keep it between us for a while.”

She pursed his lips, forming a thin line with her mouth. Holding her hands on her hips, she took a very intimidating stance, arching a brow at her younger brother. Louis didn’t know what to do. Honest to God, he was too shocked by her sudden appearance to say anything. 

“Harry, you need to tell her,” she insisted. “Listen, what happened to you- that shouldn’t have happened,” she said, her words getting caught in her throat. “But we didn’t know about anything leading up to it. Had we known about what happened at that party, we would have been able to help you. I’m not trying to blame you for anything that happened,” she added, “that was out of your control. But I wish you would’ve talked to us more.” 

Harry stayed quiet, nodding slightly. “We can’t keep having secrets like this, H,” Gemma said sadly. “Please, just tell her.”

Harry glanced over at Louis, squeezing his hand. “Ok,” he said. “I’ll tell her.”

She smiled. “Good,” she said. She turned to Louis. “Hello, Louis,” she said, sticking out her hand. Louis took it tentatively, shaking it carefully. “Long time no see,” she grinned. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Harry and Louis shared another glance, before all three of them burst into laughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally updated!! please, leave a comment if you liked it!


	39. Chapter Thirty Eight

Anne day at the table with Gemma, pouring steaming water into three mugs. Tentatively, Harry walked towards the table, pulling the sleeve of his sweater over his hand, holding it securely between his fingers, grasping tightly onto the knit fabric. He sat down, propping up his elbow on the table and resting his chin in the palm of his hand, cupping the side of his own face. 

“Mum,” he said, and she glanced over at him, smiling warmly. “Yes?” She asked, no trace of suspicion at all in her green eyes. 

He sighed shakily. “Um, so I invited Jay and Louis over,” he said. “Hope that’s ok.” 

She pursed her lips, thinking. “That’s alright,” she said, setting the kettle down and walking over to the cabinets, pulling out two more brightly colored mugs. “I’ll boil some more water, it’ll be fine.” 

He nodded, pursing his lips as he reached for his mug. The glass felt hot to the touch, and he used his sleeves to protect his fingertips from getting burned by the hot cup. “Any reason in particular that you invited them?” Anne asked, absentmindedly. 

Gemma and Harry shared a knowing glance. She stifled her smirk as he answered, “No, not really. Just wanted to see Louis.”

“Yeah, ‘cause that never happens,” Gemma said slyly, and Harry nudged her with his bony elbow. She shut up after that, but he couldn’t help but catch her attempts to hide her sly grin from there on out. 

“So, Gem, how’s uni treating you?” He asked, trying to divert the subject. She arched her brow, pursing her lips. “Well, I swear this one professor hates me, I’m not sure why,” she sighed. “But it’s fine. He’s old,” she added. 

Anne sighed, sitting back down in between her daughter and son. “You should respect your teachers, Gemma,” she chastised, reaching for her tea. 

“I do respect him!” Gemma cried. “It’s him who hates me. I didn’t do anything.”

“Maybe you did,” Harry mused, sipping at his tea cup, “and you’re just not telling us.”

Gemma shot him a glare, and he only chuckled to himself as he sipped his tea, staring straight at her. As much as she liked to pretend she hated his snide remarks, he knew she’d missed his sass. 

“Anyways, Harry, you should be starting to think about uni,” Anne remarked. His eyes widened at the realization. 

“Holy shit, you’re right,” he cried, slapping a hand to his forehead. 

“Language,” Anne reminded him. 

“Sorry,” he said. “S’ a habit.” He knew she hated when he cursed, which was to be expected, she was a mother. It had just become normal for him over the years, and nobody had attempted to stop him. He never intentionally did it, he just slipped up from time to time. 

“It’s fine,” she said, her expression softening. “But you’re right. We should probably talk about this.”

“What do you want to do?” Gemma asked. “Like, as a job?”

Harry shrugged. “I dunno,” he muttered as he sipped his tea. “I guess I didn’t expect to ever have one. Or a normal one. Didn’t expect a lot of things.”

Anne nodded, taking his words into consideration. “Well, there’s no rush. You still have a few months left. Besides, you don’t have to go into uni studying what you want to be one day,” she added. “You could switch majors, or just get a business degree. You can go into a lot of different jobs with one of those.”

“I’m not sure if I want to study business,” Harry admitted. 

“And that’s fine,” Anne said, smiling. “You’ll have plenty of time in the future to decide. As of right now, you can always come to me for help.”

He smiled at her. “Thanks,” he said. Suddenly, he heard a knock at the door. “That’s probably Louis,” he said, rising from his chair. “I’ll get it.”

“I’ll put the kettle on,” Anne said, getting up as well. Harry nodded, walking across the kitchen and into the front room. He reached out to open the door, greeted with the pleasant sight of Louis, grinning right at him. Jay stood behind him, the same grin on her face, beaming at Harry. 

“Hi,” Harry said, smiling. “Come on in.”

“Thanks for having us,” Jay said sweetly. 

“Hello!” Anne said, coming up behind Harry and placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s so nice to see you again, Jay,” she smiled, holding out her hand. Jay took it within her own, shaking it. “You too,” Louis’ mum said. 

Louis walked over to Harry, sighing. He reached for his hand, squeezing his hand. “Is there a plan for this?” He asked in a hushed whisper. “How the hell are we gonna pull this off?”

“I don’t know,” Harry whispered back. “But I’m scared Gem will tell them if we don’t, so we might as well do it now,” he added. Louis sighed, and they walked into the kitchen, the sound of the kettle reaching its boiling point drawing them in. 

As all five of them sat around the kitchen table, talking with each other, catching up on what’s been going on. Harry had to go fetch another chair, as they were one short. He sat down next to Louis, their fingers reaching for each other beneath the wooden frame of the table. 

“Louis was telling me that the boys had some news for us,” Jay said, just as Anne set a mug of tea in front of her. “Thank you,” she said, taking it within her hands. 

Anne arched an eyebrow, looking over at Harry. “Did he now?” She asked, the question lingering in the air. 

Harry took a deep breath. This was a new kind of fear. It seemed like a stupid kind, as well. Why should he be scared of his own mother? He’d already come out, she accepted him, he wasn’t scared of her rejecting him in that way. 

Maybe it was just the way his last relationship has ended up. Maybe he was terrified that she insisted he stay out of a relationship until he was thirty, wanting to shield him from the world as long as she could. 

He blinked, dashing the fears away. He was almost eighteen. His birthday was literally the next week, and he would be an adult then. Even if she had her reservations about his relationships, it wasn’t her place to decide for him. Not anymore. 

“Yeah,” Harry said, his voice sounding almost shaky. Louis squeezed his hand beneath the table, silently granting him courage. Shooting a grateful glance towards Louis and mustering up his words, Harry spoke up, “You should know that Louis and I have been dating. A little while now.”

Anne stood still, jaw dropped. She sat down silently. Harry pursed his lips again. “I really love him, Mum,” he said. “I know he’ll treat me right.”

She nodded, looking back up at him. “I know,” she said. “I know he will.” She laughed suddenly, taking both boys by surprise. “I’m just a little surprised, is all,” she said, smiling at them. “But I’m glad you two are happy. You are, right?”

The boys glanced at each other, grinning. “We are,” Louis said. 

Their mothers beamed at them, and it was then that Harry realized how happy they truly were for him and Louis. Jay smirked. 

“Well, at least I know why Louis’ always spending time over here,” She said slyly. “From now on, your bedroom door stays open, young man.”

They all laughed. Harry and Louis agreed to the rules set by their mums, after all, they did live in the homes that their mums paid for. It was only natural to set boundaries. But Harry couldn’t have felt happier, now that a weighty secret was finally lifted from his chest. 

And finally, there were no more secrets. 


	40. Chapter Thirty Nine

**FYI, I chose the name Natalie for Zayn’s girlfriend at the beginning of this fic because Zayn was not currently with anybody, but I decided to go ahead and change her name to Gigi just for simplicity’s sake : )**

“So they were cool with it?” Zayn asked as they walked down the hallway. Harry and Louis shared a glance, shrugging. “Yeah,” Louis said. “They didn’t make too much of a fuss. Just made sure we keep the doors open and stuff.”

Zayn raised his brow eyes, nodding to show how impressed he was. “Nice,” he said. “Gi’s mum doesn’t even want me upstairs.” Louis nodded in his direction, chuckling. “You’ll get past second base one day,” he said, clapping his friend on the back. 

“What are we talking about?” Niall asked, coming up behind them. Louis looked at him over his shoulder. “Relationships,” he said shortly. “Sorry.”

Niall sighed in frustration. “Why don’t you ever believe me?” He asked, only to be ignored by the two boys walking in front of him. “I’m telling you, Em’s real. I saw her over Christmas!”

“Sure. You’re one step closer to not being a college virgin,” he muttered sarcastically. 

“Closer than you anyways,” Niall snapped. Louis arched his brow. “It’s amusing that you think I’d be bothered by that,” he retorted, turning back around and walking into Zayn’s bedroom. 

Harry sat next to Liam on the bed, holding a guitar and strumming a couple chords. “Do you play?” Louis asked, grinning as he sat down next to Harry. The curly haired boy smiled, leaning in to press a brief kiss to Louis’ lips. “I used to,” Harry said, turning back to the guitar and plucking a string. “M’ a bit out of practice.”

“I could help you,” Niall offered, sitting down on Zayn’s desk. “I’ve played for a few years. I could show you.” Harry smiled at him from across the room. “Thanks, I’d like that,” he said, making the blonde boy grin. 

“Well, it’s our first official practice as a full band,” Zayn announced. “Welcome, Harry.”

Harry smiled, nodding. He set the guitar down, returning it to its stand. “First, we should make sure he does sound good with us,” Zayn said. “And then, we need to think of a name.”

“Sounds good,” Louis said, wrapping an arm around Harry’s shoulder. 

“What should we sing?” Liam asked. 

“One of our songs,” Niall said. 

“But I don’t know any of yours,” Harry protested. “They’re brilliant, but I don’t know them.”

“Fair point,” Liam said. “Harry, why don’t you decide? Any favorites?” Harry pursed his lips, thinking. “Well, does anybody know any Beatles songs?” He asked. 

They all nodded, smiles to their faces. “I’ve always been partial to ‘All You Need Is Love,’” Harry said. 

“I love that one,” Louis said, squeezing Harry’s shoulders. The younger boy blushed, smiling. Niall arched a brow, the affectionate gestures between the young couple not going unnoticed on his watch. 

“Don’t start snogging,” Niall said, reaching for the guitar. Zayn and Liam chuckled, Harry blushed, and Louis just glared at Niall for no reason in particular. He just wanted to show that it was only funny if he made jokes like that. 

Niall strummed a couple chords, opening the song. “ _ There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done,”  _ He sang, all the other boys joining in. “ _ Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung,  _ _ Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game, it's easy.” _

They glanced around, actually looking impressed with themselves. They were definitely biased, but they all thought the same thing: they sounded pretty fucking great.

_ “ _ _ Nothing you can make that can't be made,”  _ they sang, smiling cheerily the whole time. “ _ No one you can save that can't be saved, nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time, it's easy.” _

Niall strummed enthusiastically, singing, “ _ All you need is love, all you need is love, all you need is love, love, love is all you need.” _

He finished with one final, dramatic strum, plucking the individual strings. The notes were held out even as they started gushing enthusiastically about their sound, talking over each other with raised voices. 

“That sounded brilliant!” Louis cried, squeezing Harry tightly. The younger boy laughed, the hearty sound drawing out all the other voices. “Well, Harry, you definitely sound well with us!” Zayn cried. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you caught up on our songs in no time.”

Harry smiled. “Thanks,” he said, reaching up to pull his beanie off, readjusting it over his curls. “Maybe I could write a couple for you guys.”

“We’d love that,” Niall said. “All the songs we can use. People love when bands perform their own originals.” 

“Well, that’s settled,” Liam said. “All we need now is a name.” He glanced around at his friends. “Any ideas?”

Niall pursed his lips. “Well, we’re a boy band,” he said. Louis wrinkled his nose in confusion. “No,” he said. “We’re just a band with boys in it.”

Niall stared blankly at him. “That’s, like, the definition of a boy band,” he said. Louis rolled his eyes. “Anyways, as I was saying,” Niall continued. “We should have a short name.”

“Not all bands have a short name,” Zayn pointed out. 

“But no one likes a long name,” Niall countered. Zayn nodded, gesturing for him to go on. “So, maybe we could be, like, the something Boys,” Niall offered. 

Louis scoffed. “That’s a name,” he said. “The ‘ _ Something Boys.’” _

Niall threw his hands up in frustration. “Do you have anything better?” 

Louis leaned forward, pressing his hands into his kneecaps. “It should be vague, kinda mysterious,” he said. “Like, I dunno, something like... the Rogue?”

Niall shook his head. “Nah, that’ll never work,” he said. 

Harry raised his hand slightly. “If I may,” he asked shyly. “I have one.” All eyes turned on him. “Go on,” Zayn said. 

He smiled softly. “Well, what about, um, One Direction?” He asked. He watched their faces, slowly changing in expression, nodding and smiling. 

“I like it,” Niall said. “What about you all?”

“It’s great,” Louis said, wrapping his arm back around Harry’s shoulder and leaning in to give him a kiss on the shoulder. “One Direction.”

“And that’s decided!” Liam said cheerfully. 

They continued for a while, singing until their voices were hoarse. Eventually though, it became late, and edged closer and closer to Harry’s curfew. As they got ready to leave Zayn took the chance to ask, “When should we meet again? Tomorrow, maybe?” 

Louis shook his head. “It’s Haz’ birthday tomorrow,” he said, ruffling Harry’s curls. The younger boy blushed as he looked down.

“Really?” Zayn asked. “Happy Birthday!”

Harry grinned toothily. “You could’ve just told me tomorrow,” he said, “I’ll see you at school.”

Zayn shook his head, smiling. “Are you two doing anything fun?” He asked. 

“M’ taking him to the movies,” Louis said, beaming at Harry. 

“Well, I hope you’ll have fun,” Zayn said as they walked out the door. “See you tomorrow!”

“Bye!” Harry called, waving as Zayn softly closed the door behind them. Louis squeezed his hand. “So, the movies, huh?” He asked, looking up at Louis. 

The blue eyed boy grinned. “You’re in for a treat tomorrow,” he said, leaning down to kiss Harry’s cheek.


	41. Chapter Forty

“That was fun,” Harry said, squeezing Louis’ hand as they walked down the sidewalk. In his other arm, he held the bucket of popcorn, still holding on to it, saving it for later. “Thank you,” he said, smiling at his boyfriend. 

Louis smiled back, the same toothy grin that Harry had come to realize was reserved just for him. He beamed at Harry, squeezing his hand, reaching over to steal popcorn out of the bucket. Harry protested slightly, but let Louis have his way, stealing a couple kernels and tossing them into his mouth. He made a show of chewing it, and Harry couldn’t help but giggle. 

“You’re very welcome,” Louis said. “This was a much better date.”

“It really was,” Harry sighed. Louis squeezed Harry’s hand comfortingly. “Happy birthday,” he said, probably for the millionth time that day since he’d greeted him at the door with flowers and a kiss. “How’s it feel to be eighteen?”

“Scary,” Harry admitted, laughing. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to be an adult after we graduate. I don’t even know where I would go to uni.”

“Don’t worry,” Louis said soothingly. “You’ve got time. Plus, you could always just take a gap year if you need more time.” Harry nodded. Louis did have a point. “Do you know where you’re going?” Harry asked. 

Louis pursed his lips. “I’ve applied to a couple of different ones, I haven’t heard back yet,” he explained. “But I really hope I’ll get into this one at Leeds,” he added. “They have a good program.”

Harry smiled. “I know you’ll get in,” he said. “They’d be stupid to not let you in.” Louis blushed, leaning down and pressing a brief kiss to Harry’s cheek.

It was dark, and normally, their mums would’ve heavily protested them being out so late, but they gave an exception just because it was Harry’s birthday. That, and the movie was showing late, so they couldn’t find a way around it.

“It’s weird to grow up,” Louis commented out of the blue. Harry turned to him curiously, half-expecting him to go on. “You know,” Louis said, meeting Harry’s eyes with his own blue ones. “One day you’re a kid, and the next you’re just… well, not.”

“Trust me, I know more than anyone,” Harry said dryly. “I don’t think I’ve been a kid since I was fourteen.”

“Sorry,” Louis said. Harry shook his head, squeezing Louis’ hand. “Don’t worry,” he said. “Go on.”

Louis nodded, pursing his lips. “It’s like, every time I see one of those teen movies,” he gestured behind them in the direction of the theater, referencing the movie they’d watched, “I keep thinking, the whole time, are they even supposed to be teenagers? They’ve just done so much that doesn’t seem realistic,” He said. 

“Well, to be fair, our lives haven’t been very realistic either,” Harry pointed out. “I’m not sure there’s anything truly realistic anymore. It doesn’t really exist.”

“True,” Louis said. “But like, kids doing drugs and being these- I don’t know- experts at sex,” Harry laughed out loud at Louis’ comment, making the older boy arch a brow. “Anyways,” Louis continued. “It just doesn’t seem likely. Besides, I’ve never met anybody who lasts longer than a minute the first time. Not that I would know,” he scoffed. 

Harry turned to look at him. “What do you mean?” He asked. Louis shrugged. “Well, I haven’t really done it,” he said awkwardly. 

“Really?” Harry asked. “I thought that you and-”

“No, we never did anything,” Louis said. “We’d just make out and stuff. I thought I’d lose it to him, but I didn’t feel ready by the time we broke up.”

“Huh,” Harry said. “Have you ever felt ready?”

“I mean, yeah,” Louis said. “It’s not a big deal. Like, I’d be down to lose it, but it’s not the most important thing to me right now. Besides,” he grasped Harry’s hand a little tighter, “I don’t wanna make you feel like we have to.”

“Is it me?” Harry asked softly. Louis turned to look at him, gaze softening. 

“No,” he said quietly, comfortingly. “Not like that. Just saying, you can set things at your own pace. You have the right to do that,” he added. Harry smiled weakly, looking down at the ground. 

“And besides, I’d be surprised if anyone of our friends had lost it,” Louis continued. “Zayn, definitely not. Gigi’s mum’s threatened to remove her door before, and he has too many sisters to have a girl over for too long. Liam would’ve told me if he and Maya did it, and Niall- well, he might’ve,” Louis said, “I’m still not sure where I stand on that.”

Harry stifled a laugh, but it was short lived. Very soon after, he’d resumed his puzzled face, trying to sort out his feelings and decide what was wrong or right. “Sometimes I feel out of place,” he said. “Like, I’m literally the only one who’s not a virgin.”

“But that wasn’t your fault,” Louis said soothingly. “You shouldn’t feel ashamed because of what you went through.”

Harry shook his head, pursing his lips. “But there were times that I enjoyed it,” he admitted, his cheeks flushing with guilt and his own shame, “and it felt good. And sometimes, I even started it. I hate that I let myself do that now,” he muttered. 

“Hey,” Louis said, stopping in his tracks. Harry turned to face him, barely smiling at this point. “Haz, you were manipulated. And even if you enjoyed it, that’s just human nature. It doesn’t excuse what he did to you.”

Harry nodded. He understood, but at the same tone, he knew that there was a reason Louis wouldn’t say Brandon’s name. He knew that it was upsetting. Harry wished it wasn’t. 

But ignoring his thoughts, he smiled sadly, leaning in and wrapping an arm around Louis, holding him close. Louis melted into the hug, pressing soft kisses to Harry’s curls. 

They broke away for a minute, and Louis kissed Harry, ignoring the stares from other pedestrians. Let them stare. He loved his Hazza, and nothing would ever change that. 

Harry grinned at him, his teeth showing through his soft lick lips. “We should get home,” he said. “S’ getting late.” 

Louis nodded, smiling as he reached again for Harry’s hand. It was good that they were talking about this. It was healthy. He thought so, at least. 

They resumed their walk down the street, on the route to drop Harry off at his place, before making it back to his own house. Undoubtedly, this had been an amazing night with Harry, and he couldn’t wait to show him what he’d planned for Valentine’s Day. 

Now that was a treat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, I hope you enjoyed this. if you liked it, or if you want to give me feedback, please leave a comment. I love hearing back from you all and knowing what you would like to see from this story.
> 
> thanks, Lili


	42. Chapter Forty One

Harry sat with his elbow propped up on the table, waiting for his class to be let out. The second to last one of the day, it always seemed to drag on forever. He couldn’t help but glance over at the clock, waiting for the hand to turn to the 2:30 mark, and he could head down the halls to the music room, where Mr. Reed had promised the band a performance. 

Finally, the bell rang, and he shot up as the teacher dismissed them, reminding them about senior skip day as they all began to leave. Harry was out of the classroom in a flash, hurrying excitedly down the halls, students bustling around to get to their last class of the day. 

The door was opened, and he was the first one there, Gigi following him into the room with her friends. Mr. Reed glanced up from the piano, smiling. 

“Hello,” he said cheerily, “you lot are early.”

“Yeah,” Harry said. “Sorry, just excited.”

“No worries,” Mr. Reed said. “I bet you and the others are excited about performing, huh?” Harry nodded excitedly. “Yeah,” he grinned. “I’m really happy they actually let me in. Kinda surprised, if I’m being honest.”

Mr. Reed shook his head, smiling. “I wasn’t,” he said. Harry looked up at the teacher curiously as he continued, “Five rowdy boys in one classroom. Just figures, really.”

Harry laughed, looking behind him. Niall and Zayn walked in through the door, laughing between themselves as they talked. They waved at Harry, and Harry waved back, smiling as he watched Gigi walk up, wrapping her arms around Zayn’s shoulders. Zayn smiled, leaning over to kiss her cheek. 

Liam walked in next, followed quickly by Louis. Harry grinned at the sight, walking over and wrapping an arm around Louis. The blue eyed boy smiled at Harry, running his fingers through his curls. “Hello,” he said, leaning in and pressing a brief kiss to Harry’s cheek, tinged pink with his blushing. “How’s your day been?”

“Pretty good,” Harry said. “A bit tired, but good.” Louis smiled. “That’s great, then,” he said. “Bet you can’t for tomorrow.”

Harry grinned, blushing even more. “Yeah,” he admitted shyly. 

To be completely honest, he wasn’t even sure what would be happening tomorrow. But it had to be special. It was Valentine’s Day. Nobody plans something for Valentine’s Day that isn’t special and romantic, and Harry was really excited for his first Valentine’s Day with Louis, which, in a way, would be kind of his first Valentine’s Day in a relationship. It wasn’t like Brandon had ever treated him to anything nice. His idea of romance was going easy on him for a day. But that wasn’t Louis. 

Louis was sweet and kind, and Harry could never even fathom the thought of him trying to intentionally hurt anyone, let alone him. He was a romantic. He’d driven back and forth between Holmes Chapel and Doncaster for a month while Harry was with Anne and Gemma just so they could see each other for an hour at a time. He’d taken Harry to the movies for his birthday, and even more than that, he remembered it was his birthday. He’d planned in advance to treat Harry on his birthday, and that was more than anyone had ever done for Harry outside of his own family. 

And Harry was happy with him. And that should count the most, in his opinion.

“Well, boys, you all are here, do you want to start?” Mr. Reed asked, closing the door so the sound wouldn’t carry all the way down to the other classrooms, the ones with students who were actually quiet, wanting to study. The five boys glanced around at each other, sharing grins. 

“Yep,” Louis said, lining up behind the piano, ready to play. Niall grabbed a guitar, plucking a couple strings to ensure that it was in tune. 

“And what song will you be playing for us?” Mr. Reed asked.

“It’s an original,” Niall said. “Harry wrote it.”

“Well, then,” Mr. Reed said, glancing over at Harry, blushing with embarrassment. “Can’t wait to hear this. Go ahead; whenever you’re ready.”

_ “Yeah,”  _ Zayn sang,  _ “can’t believe you’re packing your bags, trying so hard not to cry, had the best time and now it’s the worst time, but we have to say goodbye. _

_ “Don’t promise that you’re gonna write, don’t promise that you’ll call,”  _ Harry sang, grinning as he locked eyes with Louis, seated behind the piano. _ “Just promise that you won’t forget we had it all. _

_ “‘Cause you were mine for the summer, can’t believe it’s nearly over,”  _ Niall sang. “ _ Feels like snow in September, but I always will remember,”  _ he locked eyes with Zayn as the two sang in harmony,  _ “you were my summer love, you always will be my summer love.” _

Louis took a breath, smiling as he started, “ _ Wish that we could be alone now, if we could find some place to hide. Make the last time just like the first time; push a button and rewind.” _

_ “Don’t say the word that’s on your lips, don’t look at me that way,”  _ Liam sang,  _ “just promise you’ll remember when the sky is grey,” _

_ “‘Cause you were mine for the summer, can’t believe it’s nearly over,”  _ Niall sang again. “ _ Feels like snow in September, but I always will remember,”  _ and all of them joined in,  _ “you were my summer love, you always will be my summer love.” _

Zayn sang loudly, “ _ So please don’t make this any harder, we can’t take this any farther, and I know there’s nothin that I wanna change, change.”  _

_ “‘Cause you were mine for the summer, can’t believe it’s nearly over, _ f _ eels like snow in September, but I always will remember,”  _ all of them sang,  _ “you were my summer love, you always will be my summer love.” _

They stopped, looking around at each other. “Great job!” Mr. Reed said, clapping.    
“And lovely lyrics, Harry,” he added, smiling at his student. 

Harry pursed his lips, smiling to himself. And all the nerves he’d had about sharing his work were dissipated, and for once, he actually thought that maybe, this could be something he did. Like, for a job. 

Maybe that’s where his future was headed. 

\---

“Hey Mum, take a look at this,” Harry said, setting the announcement form down on the table in front of her. Anne glanced up at him, then back down at the paper slip in front of her. “Senior skip day,” she read, smiling a little. 

“Since we’re seniors, we get to skip school for a day,” Harry explained. She looked at him, cocking an eyebrow. “I know what it is, I was young once, just like you,” she teased. He laughed a little, shaking his head. “Well, do you at least have a plan for this?” She asked. 

He nodded. “Louis and I were going to go to London, if that’s ok,” he said. “We wanted to visit the shops and stuff.”

She nodded, taking his words into consideration. “Well, as long as you two stick together, I don’t see a problem,” she said, smiling. “Just make sure to keep in contact with us if there’s a problem. You have my number and Jay’s too.”

“Of course,” he said, nodding and turning to leave. 

“Wait,” she said, taking off her glasses and sighing. “I have to tell you, I’m going to have to go down tomorrow and help Gemma. She’s moving dorms,” she explained. “And it’ll take awhile.”

“Like, how long?” He asked. She pursed her lips. “That’s the thing,” she said. “I’ll be gone for the night. And I hate to just spring this on you, but it was a last minute thing, and you’re old enough to stay alone for a night-”

Harry held up a hand, quieting her. “Mum, don’t worry,” he laughed. “I’ll be fine.”

She smiled. “Thank you,” she said. “You’re very understanding.”

He nodded, turning to go into his room. And as he lay on his bed, it sank in. His mum was going to be gone the whole night. 

On Valentine’s Day. 

And suddenly, he had to tell Louis. 


	43. Chapter Forty Two

Harry glanced into the car window, making sure for the hundredth time that everything looked good. Finally getting his cast off in time for Valentine’s Day, he ran his fingers through his curls, tussling them. Louis sat in the driver’s seat, a charming grin across his face. He kept glancing over at Harry, sneaky little glances. 

He’d been absolutely breathless when Harry answered the door for him. Slowly, his face broke into a grin, leaning in and kissing him on the lips. Harry smiled into the kiss, letting Louis wrap his arms around him. 

Harry pursed his lips, shifting with excitement as he stared out at the city lights, anxiously trying to think of where they might have been headed. All Louis told him was that it was a “surprise,” and he couldn’t tell him without spoiling it. Harry had blushed in turn, remembering his own “surprise” for Louis a little later on, although he was certain they weren’t talking about the same thing. He’d made sure that he was ready for this, even though the last time he’d done it wasn’t ideal. But hey, he loved Louis. And nothing was going to change that. 

The past couple of months had been amazing. He never thought he’d get to feel this way. He hadn’t felt this way before. With Louis, it was magical and romantic, and he never felt alone, even when they were apart. He was always there to cheer him up with a text, typing out a little smiley face, or by calling him late at night when their mums were both asleep. Oftentimes Louis actually had to sneak outside; his sisters were light sleepers and the walls were thin. 

It wouldn’t have been the first time he’d snuck out, Harry thought, remembering New Year’s Eve and the frantic morning to follow. 

Louis slowed his driving, pulling into a parking lot to a tall building. Harry watched in wonder, recognizing the restaurant. His mum had driven past it a couple of times, and his jaw dropped. 

“You didn’t,” He cried, whipping around to stare at Louis in total shock. Louis smirked. “I did,” he said, grinning slyly. “I saved up for a couple weeks, but I got us a reservation. My mum helped,” he added. Harry smiled in absolute disbelief, holding himself back from kissing Louis. As soon as Louis parked however, he leaned forward, meeting their lips together in a brief kiss. “Thank you,” he sighed, grinning breathlessly. Louis smiled, his bottom lip sticking out in a pouty look as he took in how adorable everything was. 

They walked into the restaurant together, hand in hand. Harry was impressed by how professional Louis was about everything, handling talking to the host himself, pointing out his reservation, smiling back at Harry as they were escorted to their table. 

Harry sat down in the plush chair, soft to the touch, the tablecloth silky smooth. A short candle sat in the middle of the table, surrounded by soft pink roses in full bloom, the exact shade of his blushing cheeks. He reached out, smiling, his finger brushing against one of them and making one of the petals fall. Louis grinned, and Harry looked up, locking eyes with Louis’ blue ones. His face was lit up, whether by the candlelight or just looking at Harry, he didn’t really know. 

But it was perfect. 

A waiter came, taking their drink order. “Remember, we’re both eighteen now,” Louis said with a wink, ordering them both champagne, which Harry had never had before. Well, he took that back, he’d had a sip over New Year’s a few years back, but he couldn’t remember the taste. The alcohol he remembered was cheap and revolting, the aftertaste lingering long after he spat it out in disgust. 

To his surprise, it wasn’t bad. They didn’t have more than a glass, still uncertain of how long it took for them to get drunk. Harry had a vague idea, remembering one night beer bottles were kept being shoved into his hands, but he’d blacked out that night, and the details of that memory were fuzzy. He remembered the morning after, but that was something he didn’t want to think of right now. That was in the past. 

“This is amazing,” he said, dipping his spoon into his soup. Louis blushed. “Thanks,” he said. “You gave me the idea.”

“Really?” Harry said. “When?”

“Your birthday,” Louis said. “You made some comment about it, and I called the restaurant that night. I didn’t want to get a late reservation. I managed to squeeze into this one. M’ glad you liked it.”

“Of course I do, but-” Harry cut himself off, glancing around the room, taking everything in. The chandeliers, the fancy looking adults, dressed up in suits and dresses, making him extremely aware of his flowery patterned button up and slacks, the nice wine glasses, the fact that he was drinking wine- it was all a little much, and frankly, a bit of a culture shock. He didn’t know how to act, or how he should himself, or what the little forks were used for. 

“Why?” He asked incredulously. “Why’d you do all this for me?” Louis’ face softened. “Well, I’m not sure if you heard, but I’m kind of in love with you,” he murmured, reaching for Harry’s hand and trailing his fingers up his wrist as they gently rested on the skin. “And I really wanted to treat you to something special for your first Valentine’s Day.”

Harry blushed, grasping Louis’ hand from across the table. He didn’t care if anyone saw. Let them stare. He was in love with Louis Tomlinson, and he didn’t care who knew. 

“Speaking of,” he said cheekily. “You should know something.” Louis arched a brow. “I’m listening,” he said, smirking. 

“Well, my mum’s out of town tonight,” Harry said, squeezing Louis’ hand. “Just in case you wanted to stay the night.”

Louis’ eyes widened, and Harry could’ve sworn that he’d choked on his own breath. “That sounds good with me,” Louis said breathlessly, grinning. Harry smiled. “Can’t wait,” he said teasingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're in the final countdown: nine chapters left!!


	44. Chapter Forty Three

Harry pushed open the door after he unlocked it, loving the way Louis’ fingers felt on his hips, squeezing slightly. They stumbled into the flat, barely skipping a beat as Harry dropped his keys into the bowl on the bookcase and shut the door behind them. He immediately turned back around, and Louis’ mouth was back on his, his tongue pressing against his lips. Harry parted his lips, giving Louis easy access to his mouth, their tongues colliding against each other. He stepped backwards, pressed up against the hardwood door, closing his eyes as he kissed Louis. 

Louis was the first to break away, his cheeks flushed and lips swollen, a deep shade of pink. He took a second to gather his words, panting heavily. “Wanna go somewhere else?” He asked, his words slurred by his breath voice. Harry nodded frantically, grasping Louis’ hand and pulling him into the back hallway. He couldn’t help but giggle as he ran down the hall to his room, with Louis in tow. He thrust the door open, it swinging open as he turned back around, cupping Louis’ face and kissing him again, mashing their lips together and moving. He ran his thumb over Louis’ cheekbone, kicking the door closed with his foot. 

Breathlessly, he turned on the lamp, collapsing onto the bed and letting Louis fall over him. The older boy laughed against his lips, his soft hands reaching to stroke his hair, reaching down and squeezing his hips. Harry smirked as Louis trailed his fingers lower, cupping his arse in the palm of his hand. 

He tried to think of anything sexy he could do. Making out was one thing, but he’d only learned one thing during his time with Brandon, and that was to do what he was told to stay alive. If that meant sex with no foreplay, no arrangement or even a spark of arousal, he forced himself to do it. If he was lucky, he’d get to prep himself a bit Bran got impatient with him. And Harry was done being that sad, submissive person. He was a teenager, he was happy now, and he was going to prove how normal his life could be. 

And hey, in another world this might’ve been his first time, but he couldn’t dwell on the past anymore. He was going to break out of his shell, maybe be the one on top for the first time. He could experiment, after all. 

Although this probably wasn’t the best time for experimenting. It was the first time for Louis, after all, and he was determined to make his first time just as special as he’d dreamed. Harry didn’t get to choose what he wanted for his first, where he was, what he was doing. It was hands and knees, face pushed into the pillow of a stranger's bed while the party went on downstairs. He wanted to see his face at least, but even that was out of his control. 

Louis sat up, leaving a brief trail of spit between their lips. He breathed heavily as he began to unbutton his shirt, fumbling with his fingers. Harry grinned, sitting up on his knees and helping him between kisses. Eventually Louis managed to peel off his button up, throwing it to the side. He leaned back in, kissing Harry again. 

Harry grinned as he pulled back, removing his own shirt. Louis watched his, mouth practically watering at the sight. “Fuck,” he cried. “You’re beautiful.” 

Harry blushed, letting Louis lean him back against the pillows as the older boy began to attack his neck, peppering his throat with kisses and sucking softly as his pulse point. Harry gasped breathily, his eyelids fluttering open and closed as he began to buck his hips up against Louis. The older boy let his hands roam, fingers trailing gently along the skin of Harry’s waist. 

_ Ice cold fingers dug into his skin, fingernails making a mark. Bruises began to form beneath as he struggled to move from the attacker, a man he used to love.  _

Harry gasped again, eyebrows scrunched together at the memory. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He was here, now, kissed by Louis, the only one getting to feel his love. Nothing would ruin that. 

Louis ran his thumb over Harry’s pelvic bone, hooking his index finger underneath the waistband of his slacks. 

_ He received a smack to the head, forced into the plastic cover of the backseat of the car. Tears squeezed out of his eyes as he tried to reach for the door, maybe open it and scream for help. “Stop that,” Brandon said sharply, slapping at his wrist and gripping it tightly, his tight fingers feeling the bone beneath the cold skin. Harry cried out, feeling his jeans and boxers pulled down as Brandon’s fingernails scratched his skin, forceful hands prying his legs apart.  _

Harry’s motion came to a stop. He tried to breathe, lying still beneath Louis. 

_ It hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt  _

“Hazza?” 

_ “Stop crying.” _

“Haz?”

_ “Shut it already!”  _

“Harry!”

_ “Please stop,” he croaked.  _

“No,” Harry whispered, barely audible. Louis stopped instantly, sitting up. “Haz?” He asked frantically. “Are you alright?” 

“Stop,” Harry whispered again, lost in horrifying memory. He couldn’t see, his vision was blacking around the edges as he struggled to breathe. 

He was thirteen. He was back in the car. His skin was littered with bruises. His family were hours away by now. He cried, he wished they’d come to save him. He was being ripped apart, literal fire between his legs. No one was coming to help him. No one cared. No one. 

“Haz, please, you need to breathe,” Louis cried frantically, a hot tear dripping onto Harry’s cheek. Harry tried his hardest to obey, breathing in and put through his nose, his nostrils flaring with each and every gasp. Louis has a hand on his back, rubbing circles into his soft skin as his chest rose and fell with each desperate breath. 

“There you go,” Louis said softly, rocking Harry back and forth in his arms. “I got you.”

Harry sniffed, everything coming back to him. He was in his bedroom. His new bedroom. Not his old one. His posters hung on the wall in front of him. The bedsheets were blue beneath him. His desk was in the corner, his pencils scattered haphazardly across the surface. Louis’ arms were wrapped around him, promising warmth and solace and everything good. 

He cried out, burying his face into Louis’ chest. Louis soothed him, stroking his curls and whispering sweets words of nothing. He let Harry cry in his arms. He kept rocking him back and forth, comforting him as he let everything out. 

Harry had never had a panic attack like that before. He’d never had a panic attack before. He thought he might’ve once or twice, but now it was hard to tell. It was like drowning. He felt like he might have drowned, even though he was nowhere remotely near water. All the same, his thoughts were all in turmoil, the rapids rushing as he thought, blaming himself for ruining Valentine’s Day. 

He and Louis didn’t have sex that night. Louis did sleep over, comforting Harry and sticking with him until Anne was home. Harry didn’t talk to her about it. 

He didn’t know where to begin.


	45. Chapter Forty Four

It’s funny how quickly your mind can change. Like how on February sixteenth, two days after Valentine’s Day and Harry’s panic attack, which was supposed to be a fun day: senior skip day. Him and Louis had such a great plan, going down to London to visit all their favorite shops. They’d been so excited too, but Harry couldn’t help but let his residual feelings from the aftermath of their dinner date linger in the air, dampening his mood. So forgive him if he was a little distant. 

They had barely talked about it. The day after Harry avoided talking about it at all costs, involving their friends constantly in their conversations, most of which started out privately, thereby keeping Louis from disclosing a topic Harry was clearly avoiding talking about to their whole friend group. 

But now they were together for a whole day, starting with the long bus ride down there. It was early in the morning, and Harry did his best to avoid talking, pretending to fall asleep on Louis’ shoulder. He wasn’t sure if Louis bought it or not, but he certainly played along, stroking Harry’s curls and moving them out of his eyes and tucking them behind his ears. They rode down in silence, the country moving along with them as they passed fields and pastures. Harry couldn’t enjoy it, he could barely see it from the small way he cracked open his left eye, trying to hide it from Louis. 

It didn’t last long. They arrived in London eventually, and Louis “woke up” Harry, and they walked off the bus hand in hand, a force of habit. To Harry's surprise, they walked in quiet peace. Louis didn’t speak a word until they reached the shops. 

“So,” he started softly. “You wanna explain why you avoided me yesterday?” 

Harry shrugged, swallowing hard. “I didn’t want to talk about it,” he said, pursing his lips. Louis sighed. “Why?” He asked. “You had a panic attack. And frankly, we should probably talk about what we’re going to do if that ever happens again.”

“It won’t,” Harry seethed. Louis arched a brow. “How can you be sure?” He asked. “Haz, this is serious. If you’re-“ 

“I’m not!” Harry cried, letting go of Louis’ hand. Louis stared at him, watching as he struggled to pull himself together. “I’m not some unstable person-“ he tried to say, but Louis quickly cut him off. 

“I never said that,” he pointed out. Harry cried out in frustration, angry with himself. “I can’t even have sex with my own boyfriend without breaking down, who am I even trying to fool?” He sighed. 

Louis’ face softened as he reached out, trying to comfort Harry. “Haz, you went through a lot, I’d be surprised if you didn’t have any reaction-”

“Shut up!” Harry cried. Louis’ jaw dropped, and Harry could feel his heart sink. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he cried, covering his chest with his hands. Louis stood, staring at the way Harry had huddled over, trying to defend himself. And then he realized- that was just Harry’s reaction. To protect himself from being hurt. Not that Louis would ever dream of hitting Harry, but clearly there were scars that had yet to be healed. 

“Haz,” he sighed, stepping back to give Harry some space. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Harry sniffed. “But it was,” he argued. “I’m messed up and it’s fucking with everything- I just want to be normal,” he cried. “I don’t want to let this ruin everything in my life. It doesn’t define anything about me. It’s not me.”

He looked up at Louis, watching the way he just stared at him. His blue eyes were full of sympathy, but Harry didn’t need sym[athy right now. He needed space. He needed to clear his mind. 

“I’m going on a walk,” he decided, stepping away from Louis. “Wait!” Louis cried, running after him. “We have to stay together.”

Harry shook his head, wandering into the crowd and getting lost in the ocean of people. He wasn’t sure how long Louis had tried running after him, or how far away he was at this point, but he’d stopped hearing his cries minutes ago. Sighing, Harry looked up at the buildings of London. 

He’d lived here before. When he was fifteen, maybe. Brandon brought him here, and they’d left almost as quickly as they’d arrived, in the middle of the night. Within the first day, the police were called on Brandon’s dealer and he had to get out of there as quickly as he could. Harry remembered watching the city lights fade into the background as they drove further and further away. 

It was almost like a fever dream, thinking about it now. He’d taken in everything- the smell, the sights, every sensation- and was gone so quickly that it barely felt like he’d been there at all. The only way he knew it was real was the vivid memories he had, opening the cracked windows to look out into the dark alleyway, the fresh food he’d gotten. It was the only city Brandon didn’t lay a hand on him in. And Harry knew it was only because he didn’t have time to, but he liked to think that being in the city gave him some sort of protection, a safety belt he wished he could have carried everywhere with him.

London held a safe place in his heart, one of his favorite places besides his hometown, and Doncaster. If only anybody had taken the time to notice the boy pleading for help all those years ago.

And the crowd moved around him as he tried to walk to the side. Harry sighed, considering messaging Louis to tell him where he was. Eventually, he decided to bite the bullet, looking around to find where he was. And as he looked between two neon signs of a shop, an unmistakable pair of eyes made his heart sink. 

Blue-grey, and cold as ice, a very grim Brandon locked eyes with Harry, who froze in his tracks. 

For a minute, he couldn't breathe. And then he ran. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seven chapters left!!


	46. Chapter Forty Five

Harry could barely breathe. His chest felt like it was on fire, he was running so quickly. He hadn’t even seen where he was going, he just let his feet move where they wanted because he had to get out of there because Brandon was there. Right there, in London, on the exact same day, at the exact same time and in the exact same place. Because that just had to be his luck. Always. Harry never had to look for trouble, apparently it just loved to come after him in particular, mostly in the form of a terrifying man named Brandon. 

He tried to scan the streets for a place to hide. Without thinking, he sprinted into an alleyway, ducking behind a dumpster and squeezing in between the brick wall of the nearby shop and bags of trash. It stank, and he wanted nothing more than to be anywhere else, but he couldn’t think about that. He couldn’t afford to think that way. Not when Brandon was there, and he needed Louis, he needed to talk to Louis. 

Making as little noise as possible, he pulled his phone out, turning it on silent mode as he quickly typed out a message, inhaling and exhaling shakily. He tried to keep calm. The worst thing would be to have a panic attack while he was waiting for his boyfriend to come and find him, protect him from his terrors. 

His heart beat violently against the inside of his chest, and he tried to breathe, struggling not to sob as he took a deep breath into his lungs, like his whole body was on fire. His eyes brimmed with tears, and he clamped a hand down over his mouth, trying to keep his cries at bay. 

_ He couldn’t go back he couldn’t go back he couldn’t go back  _

He was panicking and trying to ward off an attack, which he hoped wasn’t inevitable. He nestled in further, trying to hide as much as he could. 

And as his shitty luck would have it, he was right to panic. 

“Harry?” 

He almost screamed. But he forced himself to stay quiet, barely even breathing through his nose. 

“Harry, c’mon, I know you’re here. Come out, I won’t hurt you.” 

Lie. Bran’s a liar and that’s all he ever was and will be. 

“H, baby. We were happy. Don’t you want to be happy again? We could be happy together.” 

Harry squeezes his eyes shut, trying to shut out Brandon’s voice. There was a part of him that (naively) wanted to believe him. It was the part that always made excuses for him or tried to tell Harry he was a good man at heart, he just had problems sometimes, but Harry could fix him. That part of Harry almost got him killed, and got him beaten on more than one occasion, and even made Harry believe it was his fault for getting drunk, that it was all Harry’s fault. He couldn’t believe it, he couldn’t buy into the lies again, he couldn’t go back. 

“I’m not leaving,” Brandon was saying. “I’ll wait for you to come to me. You will eventually. I know you always will.”

Harry prayed that Louis would answer his phone soon. 

—-

Louis sighed as he walked down the streets, trying to find Harry. Knowing London, Harry could be anywhere in this sea of people. He cursed himself for not speaking about it earlier, for not confronting him on the bus. Harry thought he was a good actor, but Louis always knew when he was lying. He had before and it had saved Harry’s life. He’d known Harry didn’t want to talk about it, that much was clear just from the way he’d ignored Louis, even faking sleep to get out of talking about it. 

And Louis knew he shouldn’t have confronted Harry about it in public. That was wrong. But now, here he was, and he was going to find Harry, and even as stubborn as he could be, he would apologize and they could talk about it like normal people do. 

And his phone buzzed. He sighed in relief, reaching into his pocket. He was worried he wouldn’t have been able to find Harry on his own, hopefully Harry just wanted to come back and they could talk about it. 

But upon reading these messages, his eyes widened and his heart dropped deep down into the pit of his stomach. 

**From Harry: Brandons here**

**From Harry: please come **

**From Harry: please im scared i need you**

**From Harry: louis i need you please**

Barely skipping a beat, Louis broke into a run, typing as he rushed down London’s busy streets. He swallowed hard, trying to steady himself. 

**From Louis: im on my way where are you**

**From Harry: im in an alley by the tea store **

**From Harry: hes here please hurry**

**From Louis: im running just hold on**

**From Louis: don’t move**

He shoved his phone into his pocket, running. He forced himself to run faster than he had in his entire life, scanning and searching desperately for the tea shop’s sign. 

He’d run almost four blocks before he had to take a break. He nearly collapsed, panting and gasping for air. He considered just calling the police. They’d help to find him. 

But Brandon knew where Harry was. And the police were just a threat to him, Lord knows how he’d even managed to get out of jail in the first place, and they’d only pressure him into moving on faster with his plan, which clearly involved Harry. Brandon was a monster, but he wasn’t stupid. He understood that he could manipulate Harry easily, and Louis had to get there before Brandon took complete control of Harry. 

Louis wasn’t trying to underestimate Harry. Really, he wasn’t. He knew what Harry was capable of. Harry dealt with bullying and a physically and emotionally abusive relationship and made it out alive. And that wasn’t to be overlooked. He was pretty tough. But Louis had seen the trauma Brandon had single handedly caused to Harry. And he couldn’t bear the thought of losing Harry, his beloved Hazza. 

Suddenly, he spotted the sign of the tea shop. He broke into a run again, skidding against the pavement as he came to a sudden halt right as he came to an alley, presumably the one Harry was talking about. Cautiously, he peered around the corner. 

And his instincts were right. There he was, in the flesh, the bastard. Brandon has his back turned, and he didn’t see Louis coming up behind him. “C’mon out, H,” he was saying, “I know you want to.” 

Louis crouched, picking up a fragment of a brick within his right hand. 

“H, don’t listen to the lies. We were good together. We could have that again. Don’t you want that?” 

Aiming carefully, Louis threw the brick with all his might. His heart sank as he watched it fly through the air, only to strike six inches before where he’d aimed. It hit against Brandon’s shoulder, dust scattering as it fell to the ground again. The most damage it did was sending Brandon stumbling a couple feet in front of himself, likely from the surprise of it all. He turned around, laughing sadistically at the sight of Louis. 

“I remember you,” he drawled, and Louis caught a glimpse of his face for the first time in a while. He hadn’t changed. Well, except for a small, thin scar on his cheek, right where Louis punched him their last encounter. Louis grinned, pleased that his fist had left its mark on the monster’s face. “S’ mutual,” he said. “How's your face?”

The older man scoffed. “Louis,” he said, almost like a curse. Louis wrinkled his nose in disgust. He’d never been so repulsed just to hear his own name. “So you’re the one Harry’s been fucking ‘round with.”

“I love him,” Louis snarled. “Can you say the say?” 

“Is he a good fuck?” Brandon asked, smirking smugly. “Does he scream your name like mine?” And as if it couldn’t get any worse, he connected two and two, seeing Louis’ face and what he’d just said. “Holy shit- you two haven’t even fucked,” he laughed. “What’s that like, knowing I’m the only person to fuck your boyfriend?” 

And that was it. Louis’ blood was boiling with rage, his fingers clawing up, ready to scratch. He charged towards Brandon, who just ducked out of the way. “Face it, Harry was happy with me,” he spat. 

Louis glared at him. “Burn in hell,” he cried, running and jumping in Brandon. They fell back against the wall, and Louis got to throw a few punches in. Brandon’s fist struck against his cheek, and Louis felt something trickle down his cheek- but he ignored it. He wasn’t going to be overpowered again. 

With all his strength, he pushed Brandon back against the brick wall. His head banged against the stones, and his gray eyes rolled up as he collapsed at Louis’ feet. 

Louis took a step back, gasping for air. He spat, aiming for (but missing) Brandon’s still figure. 

He heard a rustling to his left. Turning, he saw Harry emerging from behind a dumpster. Running up to him, he kissed his cheek, wiping the tears away from his face. He wrapped his arms around Harry, letting the younger boy sob into his shoulder. 

“Sh,” he comforted, rubbing Harry’s back. “I got you. I got you. I’ll keep you safe. I got you.” 


	47. Chapter Forty Six

Harry sat at the kitchen table, quiet and shaking. Louis had his arm wrapped around him, rubbing soothing circles into his back. They’d been sitting there almost thirty minutes, ever since they stumbled into Anne’s flat in the first place. Screw the scenic bus tickets and shopping in London- Louis wanted to get Harry out of that city as quickly as he could. Which actually ended up being far longer than he’d ever wanted. 

The police came to arrest Brandon, but the boys were interrogated. Harry was already traumatized, but he had to relive the whole experience within the interrogation, and it was torture for Louis to watch the boy he loved have to suffer so much in mere minutes. Anne ended up driving all the way to London to pick them up, and now they were back at Harry’s home. Jay was there as well, frantic upon hearing what happened to the boys. She’d checked Louis all over after finding out he’d actually fought Brandon, and she checked Harry over for good measure as well. He hadn’t spoken a word, deep in thought. 

He needed time, and Louis was scared of how much time Harry might need. 

Anne set down a mug of hot tea in front of Harry. The green eyed boy silently took the ceramic cup within his hands, sighing as he raised it to his lips, sipping as he stared blankly at the wall. “The police department called,” Anne said softly. Louis looked over at her inquisitively, and he felt Harry shudder beneath his touch. “They said he was let go with community service after he exposed the leaders of the drug organization he was linked to.”

“Why?” Louis cried in disbelief. “After all he did?” Anne glanced down at her feet. “We never pressed charges,” she explained. “The only charges against him were drug-related, and apparently those were dropped.”

Louis’ jaw dropped. “Why didn’t you press charges?” He asked angrily. His mum turned, looking at him in shock. “Louis!” She cried. “You better-“

“It’s fine,” Harry muttered softly. All eyes turned on him. He still stared down at the floor, but he spoke quietly, saying, “We didn’t press charges because I asked not to.” He shifted in his seat. “Clearly that’s not an option anymore.”

His mum sat down in front of the two boys, trying to get Harry to look up at her. “What do you mean, love?” She asked quietly. He swallowed visibly. “I want to press charges,” he said. 

“You’d have to testify,” Anne reminded him. “I thought you said-“

“I know what I said,” Harry muttered bitterly. “But I can’t stay quiet anymore.” He looked up at Louis, pursing his lips as he swallowed hard. “I thought that I’d never see him again, and I was wrong. The drug charges weren’t enough to keep him locked up, but I might get him locked away longer if I testified.”

“There’s other ways around it,” Anne said. “You could get a restraining order-“

“And do you think that would work?” Harry cried, tears brimming in his green eyes. He shuddered, taking in a shaky breath. “Nothing stopped him before. Not even me. He’s a monster,” he seethed. “His idea of love is so fucking twisted and he made he believe everything. It was like he controlled what I thought about it. He made me think he really loved me. And who’s to say he’s never going to do that to some other kid?” Harry swallowed hard. “He’s abusive and manipulative, and he doesn’t deserve to walk free. And if that means I have to get up on the stand and tell a jury what he did to me, I’ll do it,” he said empathetically. 

Anne nodded. “I know,” she said. “I’m not trying to tell you not to. But if you don’t want to-“ 

“I didn’t want to go back then, Mum, but I need to now,” Harry said. She sighed, nodding. “Alright,” she said. “You know what you’re doing.” 

“Will I have to testify?” Louis asked. 

“If you’re sent a subpoena,” Jay told him. Louis nodded, holding Harry closer to himself. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. Harry leant into Louis, burying his face into his neck. Anne pursed her lips. 

“It’s going to take some time, you know?” She asked Harry. He nodded tearfully. “I know,” he said quietly. “But I’ve got to do it. I have to.”

Losing squeezed his shoulder, pressing a kiss to his curls. “You’re not going to like this,” Anne said, folding her hands together. “But I want you to see a therapist. You’re not doing as well as you think,” she pointed out just as Harry opened his mouth to protest. “And I just want to see you happy. I love you so much, baby,” she cried. “And I’ll be damned if I have to see you in pain and hurting for the rest of your life. Please, just let us help.” 

Harry remained quiet for a minute. Louis was actually scared of what he might say. He totally agreed with Anne saying Harry needed help, but he wasn’t going to fight Harry if he didn’t want to. He couldn’t. But to his surprise, Harry started to nod. “Ok,” he agreed.” He took another sip of tea. “I’ll see a therapist. But I don’t want to do journaling or anything stupid.” 

Anne sighed. “It’s not stupid if it’s going to help you, love,” she chastised him. “And if they decide they want you to journal, then I want you to as well. Please,” she asked, almost begging. “Please, for me. That’s all I want. I just want to help you get better.” 

Louis looked at Harry, the way he slumped over in his seat. And he thought of everything that people used to think of him. 

Poor Harry. 

Broken Harry. 

Helpless Harry. 

But he wasn’t that anymore. 

He was tough. 

He was strong. 

He was fucking brave as hell, and Louis loved him more than anyone else in the world. 

“Alright, Mum,” Harry said. “I’ll do it.” 


	48. Chapter Forty Seven

“How are you feeling today?” Louis asked Harry, wrapping his arms around him. Harry sighed, turning back around to face Louis. He pursed his lips, glancing down. “Terrified,” he admitted. 

The months seemed to pass quickly. Now, it was almost May, and the trial was just in another two weeks. Harry had to talk to countless people, lawyers and officers alike, about everything he’d gone through in those four years. Louis was always waiting for him to come home, but most of the time, Harry was too shaky to even speak. So Louis would hold him, let him know he was there for him. 

His nightmares had returned, and Anne and Jay had given in, letting Louis stay over to help Harry. They didn’t do anything, the door was always open, but Harry had to admit, it was nice. He felt calm around Louis, and whenever he told Harry that he loved him, Harry said it back. He did truly love Louis. 

He made him feel ways Harry never felt before. Loved in ways he’d never been before. He held him when he was scared or sad and he made everything bad seem so small and far away from Harry. 

Nobody ever held him through the night like Louis did before. Even sharing a bed, he was always left on his side of the bed, shivering with only a thin sheet to cover himself most nights. He felt warm and safe around Louis. It was a nice feeling. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Louis asked. Harry hesitated, before shaking his head. “Not right now,” he said, squeezing Louis’ shoulders. Louis smiled weakly back at him, locking eyes with Harry. He leaned into him, softly pressing their lips together. Harry melted into the kiss, feeling Louis’ lips move in sync with his. It was soft and gentle and everything Harry wanted right at that moment.

Harry sighed as they broke apart, sitting back down on his bed. He chuckled softly. “Well,” he started, trying to break the nervous tension in the room. “We have that performance coming up,” he reminded Louis. The blue eyed boy smiled at the thought. “Yeah,” he said, laughing suddenly. “Can’t believe Mr. Reed actually asked us to sing.”

“Me neither,” Harry said. “You’d think he’d have better judgement.” Louis laughed, shaking his head. “Yeah,” he sighed. 

“Well, prom?” Harry said, sounding a bit more like a question than anything else. Louis smiled. “I’ve never been,” Harry admitted. Louis nodded. “I didn’t think so,” he said. “I snuck in last year. Almost got caught, but I got the hell out of there as soon as I could.”

Harry smiled. “But I did want to ask you,” Louis said, taking Harry’s hand and running his thumb over the pale knuckles, “do you wanna go with me? I’d love to get to dance with you. Of course, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to, I’m just-”

“Don’t worry,” Harry reassured him. “Of course I’ll go. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Louis smiled. “Besides,” Harry added, squeezing Louis’ hand. “It’s still our senior year, and we’re going to end it with a bang, no matter what.”

Louis smiled, reaching to cup the side of Harry’s face. His fingers trailed over the soft skin of his cheek, and he leaned in again, pressing his lips against Harry’s. It was perfect, for a minute at least. 

They heard a noise at the door. Harry turned to glare, only to find his mum standing in the doorway, a concerned expression written across her face. She smiled weakly at the boys, fiddling with her thumbs. “Just remember to keep the doors open,” she said softly, but it wasn’t going to convince Harry. 

“What’s going on, Mum?” He asked, his teeth sinking down into his bottom lip, biting the soft flesh nervously. She sighed, walking over to the side of the bed. She pulled a chair over from his desk, lost in thought. “I got a call from the lawyer today,” she said. “Just now, actually.” She glanced up at Harry. “They’ve found that Brandon has bipolar disorder.”

Harry felt his heart drop down below his ribs, deep into the pit of his stomach. He swallowed hard. “What does that mean?” He asked nervously, his voice breaking. She sighed again. “It means that there is a possibility Brandon might plead insanity,” she explained. Harry felt his stomach turning as she continued, “If his attorney is able to prove that what he did was the result of an episode, the charges might be dropped against him.”

Harry took in a deep breath, trying to ground himself. “Ok,” he sighed shakily, feeling tears pricking the back of his eyes. “Hey,” Anne said firmly, “we’re not going to lose this case. I’m not going to rest until that monster is brought to justice. For everything he did to you, for everything he did to my family. Nobody takes my baby away from me and doesn’t get what they deserve,” she said. “I hope he burns in hell.”

Harry nodded. “Alright,” he said. She smiled. “Don’t stress too much about it, darling,” she said. “I just wanted to let you know so it doesn’t blindside you.” He nodded. She glanced down at the ground. “I’ll leave you two be for a little while,” she said, rising from her chair. 

Louis squeezed Harry’s hand. “Hey,” he said softly, “you’ll be ok. We’re going to win this.” Harry whimpered involuntarily, feeling tears brim his eyes. “How can you be sure?” He asked. “Everyone says that.”

Louis’ face softened. “I promise,” he said. “You’re not going to lose. There’s too much evidence against him for him to win. Even if he pleads insane, or whatever. Listen,” he added, bringing Harry’s eyes up to his face. He squeezed Harry’s fingers again. “He couldn’t have been in an episode for four years straight. And you said he was bad most of the time. Nothing excuses that. And anybody with half a brain will recognize that.”

Harry nodded, swallowing hard. “But his attorney’s going to try and say I’m lying,” he whispered. Louis sighed sadly. “I know,” he said. “But that’s their job. You’ve just gotta remember that you’re right, and you’re going to win. Ok?”

Harry took a deep breath. “Alright,” he said. “I can do it.” Louis smiled. “Of course you can,” he said quietly. Harry nodded, a tear slipping down his cheek. “I love you,” he whispered. Louis grinned, sighing shakily. “I love you too,” he promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> four chapters left!
> 
> omg guys, this book has been such a journey, and i can't believe it's nearly over. thank you so much for supporting it from the beginning <3 i love you all


	49. Chapter Forty Eight

“All rise for the honorable judge Eliza Hemsworth,” the bailiff instructed, loud and clear. Harry stood up, swallowing hard. His heart beat harshly against his chest, and his fingers kept squeezing themselves into a fist. He wished he could be holding someone’s hand. But Louis and his mum both sat behind him, and he wasn’t about to hold his lawyer’s hand. So he just curled his hands up into fists, his fingernails digging into his sweaty palms. He could feel his lungs expanding and contracting inside his chest with every breath he took. 

When they sat back down, he glanced over, catching sight of Brandon. He was dressed nicely- probably more so than Harry had ever seen him. He’d never imagined seeing Brandon in a suit, but there they were. Harry himself wore his grey slacks and his nice button up. He tried to look as neat as he could, maybe it could be a disguise from the absolute terror he felt inside. 

If he lost today, Brandon would walk free. Harry had to convince the jury of everything that happened to him. 

He watched as Brandon’s attorney stood up, walking in front of the court. “Ladies, gentlemen, honorable members of the jury,” she began. “Today, we review the case of Brandon Phillips, wrongfully accused of kidnapping and sexually abusing Harry Styles over the period of four years.” Harry winced. “However, my client is misunderstood, his struggles with mental health caused by a lifetime of being thrown from house to house under foster care, never settling in one home for long or even receiving the love of a parent. He struggled with addiction after his birth mother’s death, and fell for someone he believed was older than he really was. He went through periods of alcohol and substance abuse, causing erratic behavior, leading to him wrongfully being accused of abuse. Today, you will hear his side of the story, and you will see that he is innocent.”

Harry swallowed hard, breathing in through his nose. As his lawyer stood up, walking to the front of the room, he glanced over his shoulder, locking eyes with Louis, who nodded his support. He turned back around, trying to breathe steadily. 

“Honorable members of the jury,” Harry’s lawyer started, “in reviewing the case of Brandon Phillips, you will hear of the horrors he exposed to an underage boy, manipulated to believe that the feelings Mr. Phillips felt for him were true. Mr. Styles was forced to perform sexual acts for Mr. Phillips multiple times without his consent. At the heart of it, Mr. Styles was a young, bright boy when he was taken from his mother’s home in Cheshire, dragged all across the country by Mr. Phillips against his will. Today, you will hear his story, and bring justice for all the years Mr. Styles lost of his childhood.”

\---

“Now, Brandon, when did you and Harry first meet?” Brandon’s lawyer asked. Brandon leaned down closer to the microphone, glancing over at Harry when he spoke, “We met at a party. I was there with a friend.”

“And is it true that Harry lied about his age upon the encounter?” She asked. 

“Objection!” Harry’s lawyer cried. “Speculation.”

“Overruled.”

“Yes,” Brandon answered. “He told me he was fifteen.” Harry swallowed around the lump in his throat. He didn’t look back at his mum, but he could feel her eyes on his back. He hoped she wasn’t ashamed of him.

Especially since Brandon wasn’t lying this time. 

_ “Just don’t tell Mum you came,” Gemma whispered into his ear. Harry nodded, grinning from the adrenaline rush he felt in his bloodstream.  _

_ It was his first party. And even if he was only there because Gemma couldn’t leave him alone at home while Anne visited family, it was still a party. And better yet, he was there, the youngest of all of them. He wasn’t supposed to be there, but there he was, amongst all the college students.  _

_ “Alright, I’m going to get a drink,” Gemma said. “Just text me when you want to leave.” _

_ Harry nodded, wandering out into the crowd. It was dark, and people were dancing, sweaty bodies pressed up against each other, beers spilling out onto the floor. He felt people pushing against his back, and he stumbled forward, falling against somebody. “Whoa there,” he heard a voice chuckle. He looked up, locking eyes with an icy-blue eyed man. His eyes were almost grey, actually. It was nice, kinda. “Can’t handle your beer, huh?” _

_ He swallowed nervously, shaking his head. “Uh, no,” he said. “I just got here. I haven’t had a drink yet.” The man arched a brow. “Well then,” he said, “we should do something about that.” He reached at the table, grabbing a bottle and popping the top off. “There you go,” he said, handing Harry the bottle, dripping with condensation. “Better loosen up.” _

_ Harry shuddered nervously. Taking a deep breath, he raised the bottle to his lips. The man was taller and broader than him, and he was a little frightened of not doing what he suggested.  _

_ The beer tasted bitter and foul in his mouth, and he made a face. The man laughed. “Your first, huh?” He asked. He furrowed his brows, squinting closer at Harry with a smirk on his face. “You look a little young. How old are you?” _

_ Harry felt a jolt of fear. “Fifteen,” he said quickly. The man nodded. “Nice,” he said. “M’ eighteen.” _

_ Harry nodded. “Say, what’s your name,” he asked. The man smiled. “Brandon,” he said. “And you?” _

_ “M’ Harry,” he said.  _

_ The man said nothing more, slipping his hand around Harry’s waist as he moved closer. Harry’s breath hitched, realizing that Brandon’s face was inching closer and closer to his, and he didn’t know what to do, he’d never been kissed before, and he thinks this might be his first kiss. _

_ And then their lips connected.  _

_ Brandon’s tongue crashed against Harry’s lips, forcing themselves inside his parted mouth. Harry’s nose wrinkled up, a little grossed out at the feeling. It was too wet, too sloppy. He didn’t like it, but it was happening, and the more he relaxed, he found that the more he felt used to it.  _

“Now, Harry, Brandon claims that you lied about your age,” Harry’s lawyer said. “Would you care to give your side of the story?”

Harry nodded, taking a deep breath. “I did tell him that,” he said. “I did say I was fifteen, but I was scared.” He looked over at Gemma and his mum, and Louis. Gemma looked guilty, and Anne kept glancing over at her, and Louis looked sad. Harry hated when Louis looked sad. 

“Now, was there a point during the night you told him the truth?”

_ They lay down on a bed, making out. Harry’s back was pushed into the bed mattress, his curls caught within Brandon’s fingers. He kept pulling at them, and Harry kept wanting to tell him off, but he didn’t catch a long enough break to. Brandon kept kissing him, only taking brief gasps of air. His fingers trailed down, reaching underneath Harry’s T shirt.  _

_ “Wait,” Harry said, backing away from Brandon and pushing at his chest. “I don’t want to right now,” he said. Brandon sighed, frustrated. “C’mon,” he said. “You can’t leave me like this.” _

_ Harry took a deep breath. Brandon’s arm was still hooked around his waist, and he had no doubt that the man could hold him down if he wanted. “Please,” he said. “It’s my first time.” _

_ Brandon smirked. “Well, then, I’ll just have to make it good,” he resolved. Harry swallowed again. “I’m thirteen,” he blurted out. If that was the only thing saving him, then he’d take that chance. But instead of the reaction Harry had hoped for, Brandon shrugged. “I won’t tell if you won’t tell,” he said. “C’mon, it’ll be fun.” _

“And Harry, you say you consented to sex that night,” Brandon’s attorney said to him. Harry nodded, bowing his head. “I was scared of what would happen if I didn’t,” he said. 

Brandon’s lawyer nodded. “However, my client claims that you didn’t tell him about your age until much later,” she said. “Why do you say otherwise?”

Harry grit his teeth. “Because I told him that,” he said. “I told him I was thirteen before we slept together. 

“No further questions,” Brandon’s attorney said. 

Harry sighed, his fists clenched. 

\--- 

“Now, Harry, you said there was a different situation that you felt pressured by Brandon, can you elaborate on that?” Harry’s lawyer asked. Harry swallowed. 

“Well, uh,” he stammered. “We were in Bradford for the night, and he was trying to get drunk, I guess. He gave me a beer, and told me to drink it. He kept giving me beers,” he said softly. “I blacked out.”

“And what happened when you woke up?” 

“I was sore,” Harry said. “I was bleeding.”

“What do you believe happened while you were unconscious?”

Harry took a deep breath, sighing heavily. “Um,” he stuttered, “he raped me.”

He glanced over at his mum, who was trying to hold back her tears. She’d wanted justice, but this was part of it. The full story, every horror Harry was subject to, exposed right in front of her.

\---

“Now, Louis, you were present the night of Brandon’s first arrest, correct?” Harry’s lawyer asked the blue eyed boy. Louis nodded. “Correct,” he answered. 

“Now, can you give us your account of the events from your perspective?”

“We were hanging out,” Louis said. “Some friends and I and Harry, of course. We asked him if he was getting abused,” he added. 

“And why is that?”

“He’d show up to school covered in bruises and stuff,” Louis answered, his voice hitching slightly. “One time he showed up and his face was all messed up. He had bruises all over.” He took a breath. “We asked about it, and he got upset and left. Later, he showed up, and he was beaten up and he was bleeding.”

“How much time would you say passed between Harry leaving and returning?”

“Maybe an hour,” Louis said. “Between forty five minutes and an hour.”

“And what happened from there?”

“We helped him get cleaned up,” he said. “He told us about everything. He was going to hide at a friend’s house for a while, and we were trying to figure out how to fix it.”

“You knew about the abuse, yet you didn’t call authorities?”

“He asked us not to.”

“And when did Brandon arrive?”

“A couple hours after Harry came back,” Louis answered. “He came up to the house, and Harry went to hide in the back room, and we tried to keep him outside. He pushed his way in. He started to fight us, and we fought back, and he ended up punching me a lot,” Louis pointed to a faded scar above his cheekbone. “Harry came out, and Brandon went back to hit him, and he got knocked out. We called the police, and they arrested Brandon and Harry was taken to the hospital.”

Harry sighed, trying to breathe. His heart still beat against his chest, only picking up pace throughout the day.

\---

“Now, Anne, what was your experience after Harry’s disappearance?” Brandon’s attorney asked her. Harry watched his mum up on the stad, swallowing hard. “I was distraught,” she said. “I didn’t know where he was.”

“Did you have an idea of what happened to him at the time?” She asked. 

“No,” Anne answered. 

“So, there was no evidence of a struggle, or that Harry left without consenting?”

“Objection, speculation.”

“Sustained.”

“Rephrase,” Brandon’s attorney said. “Did you consider the possibility of a kidnapping?”

“Yes,” Anne said firmly. “Many times. I didn't know. His backpack and phone were on the table but there weren’t any fingerprints.”

“So, you admit that there was no evidence to prove that Brandon was in your home at all? Or that Harry didn’t leave of his own accord?” Anne sighed. “Yes,” she admitted. “And is it correct that there were no witnesses at the time?”

“Correct,” Anne answered. 

\---

“You’re doing great,” Harry’s attorney told him. The jury was in recess, deciding the final verdict. Harry was shaking, his family and Louis behind him. “I’ve never been more scared,” he whispered softly. 

“He’s going to lose,” Louis said. “There’s too much against him.” Harry turned to look at him. “But what if he doesn’t? What if I have to deal with the fact that he’s out there forever?”

Louis looked at him, locking green eyes with blue ones. “It’ll be alright,” he promised. “I’ll make it alright for you.” Harry nodded. The jury came back in, and Louis kissed Harry’s hand one more time before returning to his seat. 

They rose and sat, waiting for the verdict. 

“Will the defendant please rise?” Brandon stood up, glancing over at Harry. The green eyed boy swallowed hard, waiting for the verdict. He needed to know. 

“We the jury find the defendant Brandon Phillips guilty in the case of kidnapping and rape in the first degree.”

They kept speaking, but Harry could barely hear. He buried his face in his hands, tears brimming his eyes. He felt a hand on his shoulder. “You did it, Haz,” Louis whispered. “You did it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three chapters left!


	50. Chapter Forty Nine

Harry straightened his collar, sitting next to Louis in Liam’s car. Tonight was probably the last big school event they’d go to before graduation, and he deserved to celebrate. The monster was locked up. For real this time. And he was here with the boy he loved, Louis, ready to celebrate the biggest night of their teenage years. From here, they had to go to university, and then to work, and that was too much for Harry to think about at the moment. 

Right now, he was focused on three things. First, Louis. Then, their first (and sadly, probably last) performance as a band. Harry wasn’t sure if they’d ever seek out to produce music in the future, but as of right now, Louis was staying to study music in Doncaster, Liam was going to study medicine in Manchester, Zayn was taking a gap year before going off to study art, and Niall was going all the way back to Ireland to study business management. Harry was the only one without a plan, the events of his life postponing major decisions he was still deciding on. If he even went to university, he wouldn’t be leaving right away. He wasn’t ready to leave his Mum again so soon, and he didn’t like the idea of being separated from Louis. Even when he went back to Holmes Chapel, they couldn’t go a week without seeing each other at least once. Maybe twice, depending on what their schedules looked like. 

Third, he was focused on dancing with Louis. Everybody fantasizes about the last dance, the slow dance, and Harry didn’t actually think he’d ever get a chance to dance with anybody, or even go to prom. But this past year only served as a reminder that he was still going to live his life. 

He was finally free from Brandons’ hold. And the aftermath would affect how he had relationships, romantic and sexual. He’d probably always carry around the trauma he’d experienced in those four years. 

But that was over. He had his mum back, and Gemma too, and they were a happy family again. He had Louis, who promised to love him faithfully and respect his privacy and boundaries as long as Harry needed him to. He had the greatest friends in the world, and he was confident that his life would only get better from here. 

“We’re here,” Louis said, grinning as he reached for Harry’s hand. Harry took Louis’ hand in his own, their fingers intertwining. He could feel the air in his lungs, but he felt steady. His heart beat against his chest, but it wasn’t hurting. He was excited, but not afraid. 

It was peaceful. 

They stepped out, and Louis wrapped an arm around Harry’s back, keeping it level and above his waist. Harry smiled to himself. They walked into the colorful gym, multicolored lights brightening the room. 

Liam and Maya were behind them, helping her with her dress. Everyone was dressed nicely. Harry painted his nails again, with just the tiniest bit of help from Gemma. They were blue this time. Zayn and Maya were already there, and Niall was nowhere to be seen. 

Louis turned to Harry. “We have a little time left before we have to sing,” he said softly. “Wanna dance?” Harry blushed, nodding. Louis took his hand again, pulling him out onto the dance floor. A slower song was playing, one that Harry didn’t recognize, and people were swaying back and forth on the dance floor. Harry and Louis were only one of many young couples, all dressed in their nicest dresses and suits. Louis wore his suspenders again, and Harry wore a shirt and slacks without the jacket or tie. 

It was like the winter dance. When Louis asked for Landslide to be played, and then he and Harry had their first kiss afterwards. That, along with the day Anne and Gemma came back, was one of the best days of Harry’s life. 

“This is nice,” Harry said. Louis smiled. “It really is,” he agreed, “it’s nicer that you’re here.”

“Did you even go to dances before this?” Harry asked. Louis shrugged. “I’d go, just never for dancing,” he said, attempting to twirl Harry around. Harry smiled. “Well, I’m happy to be your dance partner,” he said. “I love you.”

Louis blushed. “I know,” he laughed. “I know, but I just wanted to let you know how much,” Harry said, swaying back and forth in Louis’ arms. “I’ve never loved anyone more.” Louis smiled. “Me neither,” he said. 

Harry smiled, and just as he was about to lean in to kiss Louis, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around, glaring daggers at Liam. “Sorry,” Liam winced, “but we gotta get ready if we’re going to make it onstage in time.” Harry sighed. “Fine,” he said, grasping Louis’ hand as the three of them walked off the dance floor. 

Calling it a stage was a bit of an overstatement. It was really just a raised platform, barely even reaching Harry’s knee. All five boys were there, holding their mics. Harry felt anxious as the song ended, and they walked up on stage. Zayn introduced them really quickly, and Niall started strumming the guitar, and Harry was about to sing, and shit, he was scared. 

Raising the mic to his mouth, just in time, he began, “ _ Written in these walls are the stories that I can’t explain.”  _ Taking a deep breath, he gathered his confidence.  _ “I leave my heart open but it says right here empty for days.” _

_ “She told me in the morning she don’t feel the same about us in her bones,”  _ Liam sang,  _ “it seems to me that when I die these words will be written on my stone.” _

_ “And I’ll be gone, gone tonight, the ground beneath my feet is open wide,”  _ Zayn sang.  _ “The way that I’ve been holding on too tight, with nothing in between.” _

_ “The story of my life, I take her home, I drive all night to keep her warm and time is frozen,”  _ Harry sang, before they all joined in, singing, “ _ The story of my life, I give her hope, I spend her love until she’s broke inside, the story of my life.” _

_ “Written on these walls are the colors that I can’t change,”  _ Niall sang, “ _ leave my heart open but it stays right here in its cage.” _

_ “I know that in the morning I’ll see us in the light upon the hill,”  _ Liam sang _ ,” although I am broken my heart is untamed still.”  _

_ And I’ll be gone, gone tonight, the fire beneath my feet is burning bright,”  _ Louis sang,  _ “The way that I’ve been holding on so tight, with nothing in between.” _

_ “The story of my life, I take her home, I drive all night to keep her warm and time is frozen, The story of my life, I give her hope, I spend her love until she’s broke inside, the story of my life,”  _ They all sang. _ “And I've been waiting for this time to come around but baby running after you is like chasing the clouds,”  _ Zayn sang. 

_ “The story of my life, I take her home, I drive all night to keep her warm and time is frozen,”  _ Niall sang, before they all ended with, _ “the story of my life, I give her hope, I spend her love until she’s broke inside, the story of my life.” _

They got some applause. Not a lot, but it was enough for Harry. He was over the moon. Louis held his hand as they walked off, immediately pulling him to the side and leaning in close. Harry giggled as they kissed. 

“I love you,” Louis sighed. 

“Excuse me?”

They turned around, met with the sight of a beautiful young girl. Her blonde hair was styled over her shoulder, and her hands were collapsed in front of her. “M’ sorry,” she said, “I’m looking for Niall? You two just performed with him.”

Louis’ jaw dropped just as Niall walked over from behind them. “Hey,” he cried, reaching his arms out to hug her. She smiled, kissing his cheek. Niall turned back around, smirking smugly. “Lads, this is Emi,” he said, introducing his girlfriend, who was very much real. 

“I can tell,” Louis said. “Didn’t see that one coming.” Harry laughed. She questioned why, but he just shook his head. “S’ nothing,” he said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters left !


	51. Chapter Fifty

Louis nervously fingered the edge of his shirt. He sat in the front seat of the car, his mum driving with the girls in the back. Everyone was restless, but he was the only one staying quiet. His mum was talking back and forth with Lottie, reminding her to watch the babies while she helped Louis with his cap and gown. 

He wished he could have driven up with Harry, but Anne took Gemma and Harry out to dinner before the ceremony. So now, after the last few moments in their school, packing in every memory of the past few years, they were finally preparing to leave. Graduating had been something Louis had used to look forward to, before he realized he was leaving it all behind. He wasn’t a kid anymore, and he had to face that. As hard as it was. 

Looking out the window, he recognized all the places he’d used to go to. Nandos’, where they’d all go to hang out. The park where he came out to all his friends, two years before Harry came along. The very same park was the place where they'd hung out with Harry the first day of school. 

It was mind blowing to think that Louis had only known Harry less than a year, and had been with him for even less of a time. Still, it just felt like they’d known each other for ages, considering how quickly they’d fallen for each other. Louis loved him a lot. 

“So, Lou,” his mum said, finally turning to him. “How are you feeling?” he shrugged. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’m a bit scared.” She nodded, pursing her lips. “I get it,” she said. “Being an adult’s scary. But I’m going to be here for you every step of the way.”

He smiled. “I’m not ready for everyone to leave,” he said. “What if we’re not friends anymore? I mean, Niall’s going all the way to Ireland.”

“It’ll be ok,” she said. “The friends you’ve made are going to be your friends for life. Besides, Harry’s staying, isn’t he? And I doubt you’re gonna break up anytime soon.” Louis smiled. “No, we’re not,” he promised. 

To be honest, Louis wasn’t sure what Harry was going to do yet. He didn’t really have any plans, and Louis didn’t think it was a bad thing, he was just a little curious about what his boyfriend wanted to do with his life. But it was fine. Harry could decide things at his own pace. His decision was the only one that mattered. 

And finally, they pulled into the school parking lot, and Louis had only a few minutes to direct his siblings and mum to the stage in the courtyard to take their seats. With time running out, he sprinted back to his classroom. The sun shone overhead, the last light of day illuminating what was going to be the last time they stepped foot in this school as students. 

He opened the doors, immediately hearing the voices of his friends. He turned the corner, met with the sight of his friends, trying on their caps and gowns. 

And there was Harry, grinning goofily in a blue gown that barely reached his ankles, he was getting too tall. Louis smiled. He started to walk over, and Harry looked over, his face lighting up. “Hey,” he said softly, beaming at Louis. Louis smirked. “Excited?” He asked. Harry chuckled. ”You bet,” he said. 

“Mates, this is the last time we’ll be students together,” Liam announced, walking over with Niall and Zayn. Maya and Gigi sat in the corner with a couple other of their friends. Louis sighed. “Man. This has been a whirlwind,” Zayn said. “Wish it would never end.”

Louis smiled. “Well, all good things have to come to an end,” he said, “or whatever bullshit they talk about.” They started laughing. “But it’s been great. I’ve met five great friends,” Louis said, swallowing around the lump in his throat, “and someone I love with all my heart.” He glanced over at Harry, who nodded, smiling as he held back tears. “So let’s do this thing.”

\---

“Harry Styles.”

Louis watched Harry rise from his seat, flashing a grin in Louis’ direction as he walked up to the podium. They handed him his diploma, and he thanked them, smiling the whole time. Anne and Gemma were beaming at him from the other side of the seats. They knew it was such a blessing to even be there, much less watching him graduate. They were sure they were going to miss his teenage years entirely. 

Harry walked down the steps, picking the tassel of his cap up and moving over from left to right. Louis beamed at him as he walked back to his seat with his diploma. 

A few more names were called before Louis’, and when he was called, he got up, grinning from ear to ear. He could feel his heartbeat as he walked on stage, and even as he was handed his diploma, his name on it and everything, he just realized what was all coming to an end. 

And he couldn’t be happier. 

He walked back down the steps, moving his tassel from left to right. He sat back down, patiently waiting for everyone’s name to be called. 

“Everyone, please rise.” They all stood up. “Congratulations, graduates of 2012!”

Everyone cheered, throwing their caps up in the air. Louis made his way through the crowd, elbowing a couple of his fellow students in order to get past them. Once he reached Harry, he held him tight and kissed him on the lips. Harry smiled into the kiss, reaching up to cup Louis’ face. He grinned as they pulled away. “We did it!” He whispered excitedly. Louis smiled. “We really did,” he whispered back. 

After a few minutes, the crowds started to disperse. Anne and Gemma reached them first, showering them with hugs and kisses, as well as Jay and all of Louis’ sisters. They all gave each hugs, like one big daily. It really felt like one. Even before Louis and Harry were dating, Jay was always the nicest to Harry, and, missing his own mum, he loved the care and thought she put into everything. 

Harry pulled Louis away as soon as he got the chance. “Hey,” he said. Louis grinned. “Hiya,” he said right back. “Did you wanna tell me something?”

“Actually yes,” Harry said. “S’ about uni.” Louis nodded, letting Harry speak. “Well, to start off, I’m taking a gap year,” he said. “But I’ve decided to apply to some place I can study to become a psychiatrist.”

Louis’ eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I want to be able to help people through what I’ve gone through,” Harry explained. “And you know, maybe learn how to help myself as well. There are so many people who are still out there who’ve gone through what I’ve gone through. And if I could help someone heal from that, that would be the best feeling ever.”

Louis smiled, nodding. “That sounds amazing,” he said, “I’m so proud of you.”

Harry smiled. “C’mon now,” he said. “Everyone’s waiting for us.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> epilogue coming soon.


	52. Epilogue

Louis ran his fingers through his hair, sighing to himself as he walked around the house. It was quiet but crowded, the house guests bustling among themselves as they prepared for the year to come to a close. 

And he still couldn’t find his boyfriend. Hopefully he’d be able to find Harry in time when midnight rolled around. Three years together and they hadn’t missed a single New year’s kiss. 

But Louis understood that Harry was studious. Besides, he was constantly dividing his time between home and university and Louis, devoted to his family and his relationships on top of all his work, studying to become a therapist. It wasn’t easy what he was doing. He had to get up early to ride the bus to his university, and then, once he got home, he had work to do and books to read. 

But Harry was happy. He always told Louis that all the time, as well as “I love you.” Multiple times. Almost three times a day, really. Especially when Louis spent the night. And what could Louis say? He loved Harry back. They were young, but Louis could see him and Harry going strong for years and years to come. 

He turned the corner, navigating through Anne’s house. She’d moved soon after Harry enrolled in university, realizing exactly just how long she and Harry might be staying in Doncaster, if it was even permanent. There was the possibility they would never go back, and just as much potential that they would. But it was all in due time. Right now, Harry wanted to be close to Anne as much as he could with his busy schedule. So he still lived with her, and she found a way to work from home, taking conference calls and occasionally driving to London for business meetings. 

Louis practically lived there too, just based off of how much time he spent with them. There rarely was a day that passed by without the couple seeing each other, and he came over as much as he could to hang out with them. His siblings were here, or at least the older ones. The little ones were still too young to be out this late. His mum had stayed for a little while, but then went home with the babies. 

He turned into Harry’s room, and there he was. Glancing quickly over his textbooks, he leafed through the pages, trying to cram in a tiny bit of studying. Louis chuckled to himself. “Hello,” he said softly, pushing the door open. Harry turned suddenly, his face lighting up. “Hey,” he cried, grinning as he pushed his curls out of his face. They’d grown longer, and this past year he’d stopped cutting it, so it was almost shoulder length, and quite pretty in  Louis’ opinion. 

“Why’d you come up here?” Louis asked. Harry shrugged, closing the book softly. “I dunno,” he said softly. “M’ not really one for crowds.” Louis smiled, walking over and wrapping an arm around Harry. “It’s close to midnight,” he remarked, leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to the top of Harry’s head. The green eyed boy blushed beneath him, sighing into the embrace. “I can’t believe it’s been three years,” he murmured. Louis chuckled. “Anniversary was two weeks ago; you’re a little late on that,” he teased Harry. Harry smiled. “I know,” he said softly. “I just can’t believe it. I remember when I met you.”

“Yeah,” Louis said, sitting down beside Harry. “You used to make me all weak in the knees,” Harry admitted. Louis arched a brow. “How do you feel about me now?” He asked out of genuine curiosity. Harry smiled. 

“You make me feel peaceful,” he said. “I feel happy around you.”

Louis smiled, leaning in and pressing his lips against Harry’s. “Why don’t we go downstairs?” He asked. “Your mum bought champagne.” Harry smiled. “Sounds great.”

Together, they walked hand in hand down the stairs, walking into the kitchen and pouring themselves two flasks of champagne. Anne came near, having Jay on a video call so she could talk with the boys. “Hey Mum,” Louis called, chuckling at the sight of his mum, holding her phone in front of her with her glass of wine in the other hand. She shrugged, her eyebrows raised as she smirked. “The babies are asleep,” she explained. “Believe it or not, this isn’t the weirdest New Year’s Eve I’ve ever had.”

Louis smirked. “I remember sneaking out to yours one time,” he said to Harry, whose eyebrows raised as Louis recounted the memory. 

“You what?!” Their mums cried. Louis swallowed hard. “Hey, Haz, why don’t we go outside?” He said quickly, grabbing Harry’s wrist and pulling him out onto the cold patio. Both boys laughed as they stumbled outside, standing out under the stars as they heard the countdown begin inside the house. 

They counted along. 

10…

9…

8…

7…

6…

5…

4…

3…

2…

“One!” They cried, and Louis cupped his hands around Harry’s face, kissing him beneath the moonlight as the old year passed and the people inside drank for the new year coming in. Harry smiled against Louis’ lips, sighing happily. 

“I love you,” he whispered. Louis grinned. “I love you too,” he whispered, smiling as he ran his thumb across Harry’s cheekbone. 

A single tear trickled down the side of the boy’s cheek and across his jawline, and he smiled. 

He was happy at last. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cannot actually believe that it's over. when this book started out i didn't imagine it to get half as many reads as it has, much less almost 5000. it's so insane and i'm so grateful to everyone who's read and supported this fic. it's my first larry fic and what really got me into the fandom. thank you again, i love you all <3


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